To only buy one present

[theweeyin]

My friend has two children. The eldest is going to be 8 tomorrow and I'm going to pop round with her present & card tomorrow. My friend phoned me about an hour ago asking if i could also bring round a present for her youngest so she doesn't feel left out. I told her that I wouldn't as it's her birthday in April & I will give her a present then. Surely if my friend doesn't want her child to feel 'left out' it's up to her to do something about it? AIBU if I only buy a birthday present for the birthday girl?

[CatelynStark]

Your friend is being ridiculous! And grabby. And a twat.

HTH :)

[YouTheCat]

What the hell is going on with all these poor cherubs feeling left out because another sibling has a birthday?

Birthday present for the one having the birthday. If the other kid feels disappointed then that's just bloody tough and probably because the parents are clueless.

[pictish]

Yanbu. Silly friend.

[Hulababy]

Yanbu. I wouldn't either.

[HecateWhoopass]

Not at all.

It is ridiculous. Children have to learn that other people have birthdays! and there's not always something for them.

So she doesn't feel left out. Heaven's above. It's someone else's birthday!

[Shutupanddrive]

How rude!

[Cassarick]

I wouldn't either. Why should you have to double-up on presents? Ridiculous.

[littlemefi]

How cheeky! YANBU, whatever age the child is, they have to learn that birthdays are about the person whose birthday it is.

If your friend chooses to buy something for the little one, that's her responsibility, not yours!

[SecretNutellaFix]

That is really rude.

[HildaOgden]

Stick to your guns and don't do it.

Are you expected to do the same again in April when the next birthday comes? ie buy the 'unbirthday' girl a present then too?

Silly woman (her,not you).How is it a special day for the birthday girl if she isn't the one who gets the pressie/attention?

What did your friend say when you said you wouldn't do it?

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

YANBU!

I always send a gift for older siblings when a new baby is born because I worry they will feel pushed out by the new arrival, but for a birthday for older children? Not a chance!

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

Tell her that you will but its not your birthday either so can she buy you a present too, then send her an amazon wish list of very expensive items to choose your unbirthday present from.

[theweeyin]

hilda My friend told me she thought i was being quite mean. I told her that when i was young and it was my brothers birthday I never got presents. She then said well it's up to you.

[BlueberryHill]

YANBU, I thought this was a twins thread before I read the OP. Agree with everyone else, how stupid is your friend? (sorry to be a bit rude there)

[HecateWhoopass]

You're not mean, she's being silly.

[BlueberryHill]

Actually after the last post, I think she is really stupid and very rude.

[mammmamia]

I thought this was a twins thread too! And was coming on to say I wouldn't mind if people brought my 3yo twins only one present on their birthday. They have too much stuff and its good for them to learn to share.
YANBU!

[HildaOgden]

She sounds ridiculous and petulant.And she's going the right way about training her dd's to be the same!!

Does she give your children presents when it's their siblings birthdays?Not that it matters if she does,that's her choice.....but telling people to buy for the second child too is totally crackers.

To be honest,I'd find it difficult to show up at all with any present at all if I was told I was being mean like that.

[MrsSpagBol]

What hilda said!!

[theweeyin]

Thanks everyone. I didn't think I was BU but wanted to get other peoples opinion on this.

[RobotHamster]

My mum used to do this for my younger siblings on my birthday, so they wouldn't feel left out,it was crap and pointless and made them both think they were entitled to help themselves to my things so they didn't miss out

I got nothing when it was their birthday though because I was the eldest and should 'set a good example'

[MrsSonky]

I'm having an Alice in Wonderland moment.

"a very happy unbirthday to you"
"to me?"
"to you"

[KC225]

Same as mammamia - I have twins and came on to say joint present is fine and much appreciated.

I was not expecting bring another present ...... YANBU go with one present and say breathlessly 'didn't have time to get another present' - what a cheek

[EarlyInTheMorning]

That's rude, vulgar, ridiculous, she's being a bad friend and a bad parent

[SecretNutellaFix]

Same as robothamster.

I still remember my fifth birthday when my sister threw a strop because I had some presents.My grandmother gave her a £10 note and she waved it in my face.

Did I get anything when it was hers? No.

It often happened that she got just because she was the youngest. I grew up to resent her and she has grown up with a massive sense of entitlement. We still don't get on very well.