Mumsnet Talk

One of my kids has two boys in his class who are having a joint birthday party, great, fine, kids will love it.

Then today I get an email, one of the mums friends ( another mum) is having a collection for the 2 children, cash that is, and please will we put our names on the envelope an bring it to her outside the classroom at picking up time.... The message goes on to inform us that she will let us all know how much they collect and let the mums know who contributed what ?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHH .??
I must be getting on a bit because i thought Birthday parties were about kids having fun and mums bringing little gifts along (normally something left over from last party you had ;) lol) Maybe im wrong but WTF ?? Is this not out of hand now or am I just stuck in the past ??

I'd just email back and say you prefer to buy your own gift. Seems a bit bloody cheeky to me.

I'd just email back

No thanks. I've already got their gifts.

YANBU and the birthday boys would probably prefer to get lots of parcels than one big present from all the party goers.

How odd. Just take your own gift.

I wuoldn't even e-mail her back - just ignore. How odd?

I wouldn't touch this with a barge pole. Sounds like they are trying to pay for the party with "voluntary" contributions - no way.

I would just say you won't need to make a contribution as you have already purchased a prezzy for each, thank you.

A bit cheeky of the other mum to put herself in charge IMO

YANBU!

Way to start fights, or what?!

Sounds very high pressure. Tell her to get stuffed.

That's so grasping

The idea of telling every mum 'who contributed what' Nothing like putting pressure on people.

Seriously I would refuse to get involved. Way OTT behaviour from that other mum.

WTAF?

That's really weird. I would just say you already got pressies. How rude!

WTF I can't stand things like that. YANBU

That's awful and greedy. Have a quiet word with the other mums? They might be feeling the same as you but be going along with it for fear of being the odd one out, get everyone to just get presents!

That's awful and greedy. Have a quiet word with the other mums? They might be feeling the same as you but be going along with it for fear of being the odd one out, get everyone to just get presents!

That is one of the oddest things I've ever heard. It's not like a collection for a leaving present! I hope nobody goes along with it.

Yeeurgh, that's just cringey behaviour. YANBU at all, and I would probably ignore the email and turn up with something nice for the children that I had picked out myself.

Also, what kind of message does that send to the kids invited to the party? I encourage my kids to think about their mates and choose a gift that they will enjoy. If the parents just chuck money in an envelope, the children are completely removed from the process.

Wow, talk about grabby and rude. Its about the bloody kids, some people.

Sorry-all gifts for parties are chosen by the dc from my present stash. I assume most people operate like this.

I have heard of this before. I think the idea is that the birthday child gets 1 or 2 big presents that they actually want rather than 20 small presents that they (or rather, their parents) don't want.

Is everyone copied into the email? I'd reply to all saying you have already sorted prezzies. Very cheeky and grasping!

Wow. Just tell them you'd rather buy the gifts. I'd probably just give cash to the collection, because it's easier for me