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AIBU?

To think if you witness an accident you don't get shouty at the people involved?

22 replies

Couldonlyhappentome · 05/03/2013 10:20

I was involved in a minor shunt this morning, thankfully the occupants of the other car are ok (we've been in contact by text to confirm the kids are all well) my car is probably going to be costly to repair and the other just needs a new bumper, airbags not deployed. However it transpires now the shock has worn off that I clamped my jaw on impact and have somehow broken a tooth, other than that fine, insurance firms both notified, blame apportioned accordingly life moves on.

Only I can't get this woman out of my head. She absolutely let rip at us while we were both in shock at how fast we were going and how unsafe we were driving and how she would act as a witness and say anything the other driver wanted her to.

The other driver was extremely shaken. I wasn't at the scene I did however burst into full floods of tears when I got home and haven't stopped since.

Aibu to think if you witness an accident you do not get in the faces of the drivers who are clearly dealing with the matter and start shouting at them?

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aldiwhore · 05/03/2013 10:21

YANBU. However, the witness could have been in shock too... people react differently when in shock.

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EuroShaggleton · 05/03/2013 10:34

I think it's the shock. Not quite the same, but I had a very near miss on Sunday - person in front of me was turning left into a side street, teenager on a bike went whizzing straight across, car in front of me did an emergency stop, I did an emergency stop, car behind me did an emergency stop inches from my bumper. Accident avoided. However the car behind me then spent the next mile following me, flashing me like crazy and getting all road ragey. It's the adrenaline of the situation and in his case being a it of a twat.

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hiddenhome · 05/03/2013 10:34

No, if you're a witness, you contact the police independently and explain what you saw and let them take it from there. If they need a statement from you they'll let you know. The witness was out of order to stand there shouting like that.

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SneakyNinja · 05/03/2013 10:38

Probably going to be unpopular here but..... Were you travelling too fast? Not the best behaviour but I know how angry I get when somebody nearly causes an accident through carelessness/speeding and I can't say for sure that I wouldn't say something, especially if children were involved.

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WorraLiberty · 05/03/2013 10:39

She shouldn't have shouted of course.

But if what she's saying is true and you were driving too fast and unsafely, it could well be that she was in shock.

I get angry at the amount of 'boy racers' that use the road near the school as a racing track despite the speed bumps.

And I have in the past shouted at a twat who had a near miss at the junction, through speeding on the school run.

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ScottyDoc · 05/03/2013 10:40

Yanbu, when me and my dh had an accident (I was pg at the time), we got yelled at by some wanker cunt because in his opinion we were at fault. In actual fact we were hit by a drunk driver and our car was a write off. I also sadly suspect that dh's nationality was cause for the idiot to be prejudiced even more towards us. Other people also just walked past our car giving us unfriendly looks. It was disgusting how others went to check on the other guy who had crashed into us but nobody had bothered to check on us. People should keep the fuck out of other people's business and only give an opinion to police when asked.

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GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/03/2013 10:46

Scotty Is his nationality obvious, if so, then that is just horrifically racist. Leave the pregnant woman, and check on the twat who shouldnt be driving if hes been drinking, what arseholes.

My friend was in an accident recently, in which the idiot drove right at her, shouted at her, but it was his fault, and she was taller than him, shes not the one to try and intimidate.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/03/2013 10:53

YANBU and be careful. 1 in 7 collisions are insurance scam set-ups as I discovered to my cost last year. Also a rear-end shunt.

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ScottyDoc · 05/03/2013 10:55

Yes dh's nationality is obvious (dark skinned Arab) and the guy who shouted was most likely a daily fail reader. People walking past were also prejudiced quite blatantly and I think the drunk for more attention in particular because there was one of him and two of us. It makes me sick to this day. I was absolutely livid when the idiot started shouting because nobody even knew if he'd seen what happened!! He strolled past us straight to the other driver after the crash to check on him, swept past us up the stairs to his flat and proceeded to yell at us from the balcony. It's funny now writing that down lol

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WilsonFrickett · 05/03/2013 10:56

Cogito got there first. I would actually be quite suspicious of an aggressive witness who was clearly on one driver's 'side'. They could have been trying to hurry you out of the situation, iyswim, so you wouldn't be as careful noting what had happened, take your own photos, etc.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/03/2013 11:06

That's what happened to me WilsonFrickett.... Aggressive driver of the other vehicle in my case meant that I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible and didn't take photos etc. Found out six months down the track I'd been a victim of a 'crash for cash' gang. It's the police saying that 1 in 7 collisions are set-ups. I'd be very suspicious of this 'witness'.

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LessMissAbs · 05/03/2013 11:07

Perhaps she was scared she was going to be hit? Perhaps she lives near the area and sees speeding vehicles and near misses on a regular basis?

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Couldonlyhappentome · 05/03/2013 11:20

Was travelling under 20mph as airbag didn't deploy probably nearer 10-15mph as was slowing down for a mini roundabout. Yes she could have been in shock dp suspects it was more likely she was trying to cross the road in a dangerous place, driver in front slammed his brakes on I slammed on mine and there was the accident and that she got shouty because she knew she was partially at fault.

Who knows.

Either way I feel like shit right now about it and didn't need her shouting at me Sad

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Couldonlyhappentome · 05/03/2013 11:21

Oh and I realised when I got home I didn't take any photos of his car. Feel like a right dick now

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/03/2013 11:23

Have you spoken to your insurance company and explained everything in detail such as how fast/slow you were going, how many people were in the car you hit, the fact that there was minor damage only to the other vehicle etc.? After my experience which first appeared to be a fairly normal prang I am very suspicious. If the shouty woman was the one that caused the accident she could very easily be part of the set-up. She causes the driver to brake... you think it's your fault for driving too close... driver puts in massive personal injury claims and tries to say their vehicle is a write-off. It happens.

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SirBoobAlot · 05/03/2013 11:26

When I was in an accident as a child, we were edging out of a turning where some idiot had double parked. Then some other fucking idiot came hurtling down the hill on a motorbike, hit us hard enough to send us skidding even though we were stationary. Drive flipped off his bike and went skidding down the road. He was fine, but must have been doing 50mph in a residential area. The driver of one of the double parked cars (that had fucking caused the accident) went mental at my friend's mum who was driving, she was in floods of tears.

People are arseholes.

I hope you're okay.

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dreamingofsun · 05/03/2013 11:26

i had a relative who was standing beside the road after what could have been a fatal accident and people gave him abuse as they drove past because it had caused a tailback. accident was caused by someone stupidly pulling from a side road into the fast lane and driving into him

it does make you wonder about the british public.

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MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 05/03/2013 11:27

That IS fairly classic for insurance fiddles... some people were doing a similar scam near where I work, also at a roundabout - they act as if they are going to pull out onto the roundabout, then slam on brakes (sometimes with brake lights disconnected first, apparently - did you see the lights when they stopped?) and the driver behind goes into them at relatively low speed, and then is considered at fault for not keeping their distance.

So do consider it as a possibility... hope you still got some photos etc?

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Loa · 05/03/2013 11:32

Make sure you tell the insurance company everything - just in case it's a set up.

When DH was hurt in collision the other driver and his passenger who causes it were very aggressive - seemed obvious to the pain and damage they had cause DH more concerned about not accepting blame.

It was the witnesses who called the ambulance and pointed out to the other driver that he should never have been where he was.

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Couldonlyhappentome · 05/03/2013 11:32

Fuck.

Yes I said to my insurers that was only a small prang, although the front of my car is a mess where I hit his tow bar, and that minor damage only to his car. Also made a point of saying (although wasn't asked) that the airbags in both cars weren't deployed and all parties as far as I was aware were wearing seatbelts. Said at most I was going 30 but likely to be less due to the junction.

I feel such a mug.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/03/2013 11:36

You're not a mug. It was six months after my 'accident' that I was contacted by an insurance investigator and told it may have been a set-up. Up until that point I just thought I'd been a little careless. These people are good at what they do. They make it reasonably believeable, wrong-foot you with shouty witnesses etc. and of course we all think that, because we're the one at the back, it's our fault.

I'd call back your insurers and tell them you were going far slower than 30mph because that makes a big difference to damage caused. Also tell them you are very suspicious of the agressive witness who seemed to have caused the crash in the first place. It may be a perfectly innocent situation but scams are very common.

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WilsonFrickett · 05/03/2013 11:50

You are not a mug at all, if it was a set-up they are very good at what they do. And you'd just been in an accident! Write down everything that happened, including description of the witness etc - every single detail you can remember - then phone your insurers as Cogito says. It could be nothing, but it's best to be prepared. And please don't feel bad or silly, it really wasn't your fault.

((hugs)) Brew

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