To think it's really quite odd when grown women talk about 'besties'?

(71 Posts)
HerLordship Tue 05-Mar-13 08:09:38

Have n/c for this but I am a regular

I've known a friend for a couple of years. I like her and enjoy her company and think we are generally pretty close. Our DCs get on well. We are both 36.

However, she has 2 best friends, whom she calls her 'besties', and she talks about them all the time. She'll say things like 'I'm going to Frankie and Bennys on Saturday with X and Y, obviously it's just the three of us though as we're all besties, so you wouldn't be able to come'. And whenever we chat she mentions both of them, and says 'My bestie, X' or 'My bestie, Y' whenever she mentions them. I'm never allowed to go to any event or meet up where both 'besties' will be. She once invited me round for lunch to hers but then cancelled on the day as the 'besties' asked her out to lunch elsewhere, and she has said they get priority.

On Facebook if the two besties reply to her status she always says things like 'Thank you my wonderful bestie', or if she has met them both then her statuses say about 'meeting up with the besties'

It's fair enough that she has these best friends, and makes it plain to me I'm not a best friend. However am I alone in thinking it's rather odd for women in their thirties to still be calling their best friends 'besties' and for being so possessive over them. Even my teenage daughter and her friends don't behave in that manner!

Stelmosfire Tue 05-Mar-13 08:11:07

She sounds ridiculous frankly

ssd Tue 05-Mar-13 08:11:28

she sounds like a PITA, I wouldnt be her friend

littlemefi Tue 05-Mar-13 08:13:04

I would find that really annoying !
She sounds she is aged 8!

EarlyInTheMorning Tue 05-Mar-13 08:13:37

She sounds like a 5 year old

Tell her she can't play at your house anymore!

Seriously she sounds rediculous and I wouldn't want to meet her besties anyway incase it's more of the same.

HerLordship Tue 05-Mar-13 08:16:09

It's odd because in some ways we are close, and we get on fine, and she's lovely, but she seems to revert back to being a child whenever the two 'besties' get in on the equation.

FlowerTruck Tue 05-Mar-13 08:18:11

What an idiot ! Her not you.

bootsycollins Tue 05-Mar-13 08:28:22

Do her "besties" reciprocate? What a dick, the whole cancelling your plans for the besties is a proper cunts trick.

sydlexic Tue 05-Mar-13 08:30:52

Do not let people treat you like that. Don't be anyone's second best. It is ok that she has closer friends but making arrangements with you and telling you that you have been dropped for someone higher ranking is cruel and illmannerred.

HerLordship Tue 05-Mar-13 08:36:41

I'm not sure bootsy, as I've not met them. I'm thinking they must do. They seem pretty tight as a trio.

valiumredhead Tue 05-Mar-13 08:37:23

I would not want to spend anytime with someone who was quite frankly so bloody rude!

loubielou31 Tue 05-Mar-13 08:39:48

This is a bit wierd IMO so no YANBU.
I have described someone as "one of my oldest and best friends" because, well she is, but what you're describing just sounds like rudeness.
It may be that she likes spending time with you on your own and doesn't want to share you with her "besties" but she just sound a bit immature really.

Adversecamber Tue 05-Mar-13 08:40:32

If people want a bestie well whatever as teens say. However she is very rude telling you that you are on a lower rung as a friend. She treats you very badly.

That is weird.

Judging by your title I actually came on this thread to tell you that yes you are being unreasonable, as I have a best friend and jokingly call her 'bestie' when we are together or making plans etc... However, I don't call her that in front of my other friends, and certainly wouldn't point out that I was excluding other friends for not being my best friend... That's just rude and a bit immature!

Lifeisontheup Tue 05-Mar-13 08:43:53

Anyone who calls a friend a 'bestie' makes me think of Aunt Bessies and I go off into a yorkshire pudding craving day dream. grin

She sounds a real charmer, not worth your energy.

bootsycollins Tue 05-Mar-13 08:44:08

Hmmmm I have a very active imagination so I'm going to suggest that she's an absolute fantasist/pathological liar whose invented these "besties" to enhance her "fun filled jam packed social schedule". Has she ever mentioned the besties actual names? When she mentions them on Facebook do they ever like her status updates? Have you ever seen photographic evidence that they actually exist?hmm Does that emoticon mean suspicious?grin

Floggingmolly Tue 05-Mar-13 08:47:04

She excludes you from outings because you're not one of her besties? How can you keep a straight face, ffs! Ditch her and leave her to play with her kindergarten friends, and find yourself some grown ups to spend time with.

Sugarice Tue 05-Mar-13 08:54:34

Bloody hell , she's hard work isn't she?

Does she really drop everything when they summon her? don't lose any sleep over this overgrown needy woman, let her and the 'besties' get on with it.

valiumredhead Tue 05-Mar-13 08:57:14

All this 'I have besties and you can't come' nonsense is all about making herself feel better about herself. silly cow

quesadilla Tue 05-Mar-13 08:58:50

I agree... Sounds childish and tiresome. Also kind of l

LottieJenkins Tue 05-Mar-13 08:59:37

She wouldnt be a friend of mine if she behaved like that! I would find proper friends who were going to understand what friendship means and not make me feel unwanted! Not a reflection on you OP thats how i would deal with it!

MidnightMasquerader Tue 05-Mar-13 09:00:01

Oh <cringe> for her. She needs to cop onto herself.

I have a best friend of 34 years (I'm 39) and we're close, but that sort of behaviour just takes the biscuit

YANBU. You need to start taking the mick out of her and her 'besties' a bit.

quesadilla Tue 05-Mar-13 09:00:24

Whoops... Fat finger. Also a bit like she is trying a bit too hard. If someone really is that close yo you you generally don't have to shout it from the rooftops like that. You just get on with it.

"... obviously it's just the three of us though as we're all besties, so you wouldn't be able to come'."
Dear god that reads like she's five years old!

"I'm never allowed to go to any event or meet up where both 'besties' will be. She once invited me round for lunch to hers but then cancelled on the day as the 'besties' asked her out to lunch elsewhere, and she has said they get priority."
She is not odd. She is plain fucking RUDE. I could not be friends with this woman, and I would most certainly have torn a strip off her for cancelling.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now