to want to tell the customers to shove their laptops up their arses

(56 Posts)
lappy Mon 04-Mar-13 17:54:11

I work for a very customer service orientated company. Any problems that arise can be quickly dealt with and almost always after one communication. I do generally love my job, it's a great company with great people but what's been starting to really get on my tits recently is the same old phrases that customers are starting to throw in. This is mainly emails but now it's starting to creep on to the Facebook page.

Such phrases as:

'not the quality I expect from you'
'not good in this economic climate'
'disgusted with the service' ...this is usually over something very trivial and non-intentional! Disgusted is more often than not spelt as discusted.
'imagine my horror' ... again usually over something as life-shattering as a parcel arriving with a slightly bashed corner'
'as a valued customer' ...as apposed to what?
'as a loyal customer' ..if you say so.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't complain if something has gone wrong, you definitely should so it can be put right but why is everyone using these same old phrases? Where have they picked them up?

I'm getting really bored of them now.

lappy Tue 05-Mar-13 09:06:45

BOF - that letter was brilliant!
YesIAmYourSisterInLaw I think I received and answered your letter last week didn't I smile
Giraffe - a voucher is on it's way to you.

poozlepants Tue 05-Mar-13 09:21:01

YANBU. That would do my nut in.
I've noticed people do like a bit of the dramatic at the moment. Nine times out of ten when I click on OP here that says "I'm devastated" it's usually someones Mother or MIL has put their bins out without permission.

TheCraicDealer Tue 05-Mar-13 09:40:40

The only time I've ever complained about anything was when a dress I got from Asos spilt right up the bum while I was in work. I then repaired it and it spilt again below my new seam while I was out for dinner with friends.

I like to think I brightened that customer service person's day with my email- "you can imagine my embarrassment, which was only increased by the fact I was wearing flesh coloured knickers", "thankfully I was able to effect an emergency repair with a stapler from the office once the customer brought this to my attention", etc.

SecretNutellaFix Tue 05-Mar-13 09:54:04

I highly recommend the site notalwaysright.com.

Some very funny and some not so funny tales of customer rudeness and complaints.

vladthedisorganised Tue 05-Mar-13 10:44:46

YANBU. People really have no idea how to complain properly - I spent a few (long) years in customer services and the thing that got me was the emotive language, and the way people made it so personal..
"imagine my horror..."
"I was truly appalled.."
".. nothing disgusts me more than this.." (^Really^? So pictures of slaughtered Syrian children leave you cold, but the fact a computer warranty doesn't cover a cracked screen disgusts you beyond measure? Hmm..)
"I hope you're happy that you, personally, have ruined my business, my personal life and any prospects I may have had.." (had sent them a notice that their warranty had expired the previous year)
"I want nothing more than to ruin your life as you have ruined mine" - see above

If I ever have cause to complain I try to:
- Set out what happened in non-emotive language
- State what I'm not happy with (use 'surprised' and 'disappointed', not 'shocked' or 'horrified' unless really talking about chainsaw-massacre stuff)
- Say what I want and why - "Given that I did not receive the goods in an acceptable condition, I would like to have a working replacement sent to me within the next x days and a freepost address where I can send the faulty goods back to you. If this is not possible, please let me know what your company policy is on these matters and how the situation can be rectified as soon as possible."
- Thank them for their attention

Calabria Tue 05-Mar-13 12:16:45

Phew. So glad I didn't use any of those phrases in the email I sent the other day complaining about the lack of pasta in my pasta snack pot.

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