To think babies can't be spoilt?

(66 Posts)
Softlysoftly Thu 28-Feb-13 15:18:33

Just that really. Should have stayed out of it but just got involved in a conversation about putting babies in/on something most of the time so they don't get "spoilt" by being cuddled.

AIBU that cuddling a baby won't ruin them for life.

We are talking weeks old btw not once sitting/crawling

dikkertjedap Sun 03-Mar-13 23:55:48

Totally agree. Also agree with all the posters that you cannot spoil any one (baby, child, whatever) with cuddles and love.

redwallday Sun 03-Mar-13 22:50:41

Babies don't keep. Simple as that really. One day they aren't going to want all our out pourings of affection, kisses and cuddles so enjoy it while you can. My biggest hope though is that when my children have children, they will cuddle them whenever and however it is needed smile

My daughter is 20 months and weighs 2stone 5lbs and I still carry her in a sling. She is always at her calmest in the sling and often snuggles into me and strokes my arms while in it. Even now she will fall asleep snuggling her mummy.

So I will say it again, babies don't keep! Enjoy them today because tomorrow they will be all grown up smile

AScorpionPitForMimes Sun 03-Mar-13 22:39:03

Well, my two cuddles and fed-on-demand DDs are now 10 and 12, and you couldn't want for two more independent girls. And even better, they still like being cuddled.

I remember a friend of mine expressing amazement when DD2 (3 months old) was grizzly and in the middle of a growth spurt. She said 'You're not still feeding on demand, are you?' So I shot her my best sunny don't mess with me smile and said 'No, I just like to air my boobs out.' She never said another thing, and amazingly enough we stayed friends.

smellysocksandchickenpox Sun 03-Mar-13 22:16:28

oh you can definitely spoil children! I know a child that cannot be taken into/past any shop without being bought something, and once they have that thing the novelty of it is worn off in about 2 mins and they're asking for something else

cuddles don't make spoilt children though, unless you are trying to raise a ruthless killer, and then yes, cuddles might spoil that plan a bit!

BubbleGunsGirl Sun 03-Mar-13 20:33:33

Absolutely agree that you can't spoil a baby with cuddles, feeding on demand, kisses, etc. But likewise i believe you cannot spoil a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen or an adult with affection, quite the opposite actually.
It is the gift giving, materialistic purchase (in place of affection or because of guilt) that can spoil anyone.
Ignore the comments and kiss your baby as much as you want.

NayFindus Sun 03-Mar-13 19:10:48

YADNBU people do speak a load of cock sometimes don't they, is this not like saying 'oh my god don't feed them, they'll expect it ALL the time...' grrrr, love my baby's cuddles. I'm 39 this year and I'm often to be found whining 'I'm snuggle deprived, I neeeeed cuddles'. My 2 year old is well trained. I just have to open my arms and ask (but really, I shouldn't have to ask ffs....)

tomatoplantproject Sun 03-Mar-13 19:05:33

In that case my very smiley & happy baby who sleeps through is spoiled rotten. I cuddle her a lot and I feed her to sleep too. I am therefore a bad mother! But she is only 4 months old and needs her cuddles and quite frankly i don't have the heart to start controlled crying and don't want to change what we're doing to change her sleeping throughness. The only thing that makes me sad is that my back is too sore for me to wear her in a sling so she sits in her buggy and chats to me instead, and the sling is reserved for her daddy (who is also naughty and spoiling her with cuddles).

PopeBenedictsP45 Sun 03-Mar-13 18:56:25

Yes I had this with DD as I carried her everywhere in the sling. "She'll expect to be held all the time now!"

I said "GOOD."

I'm glad I did because she started crawling at six months and after that refused to be held/cuddled at all!

yaimee Sun 03-Mar-13 18:52:40

I want them enough to post that twice apparently!

yaimee Sun 03-Mar-13 18:51:53

I wish my 15mo would let me cuddle him, I only get one while I'm giving him his bottle! I wish he'd spoil me with some cuddles sad he's too busy nowadays!

AlisonMoyet Sun 03-Mar-13 18:51:47

isnt it SPOILED?

mrsstewpot Sun 03-Mar-13 18:51:03

GoatBongos, I know - very worrying that she wasn't encouraging me to hold him as much as possible. I was trying to establish bfing as well and of course was behind as I hadn't been able to hold him.

He wasn't premature and so was quite lively - looking for stimulation and interaction. It was quite apparent she didn't want him getting used to that!

yaimee Sun 03-Mar-13 18:50:53

I wish my 15mo would let me cuddle him, I only get one while I'm giving him his bottle! I wish he'd spoil me with some cuddles sad he's too busy nowadays!

ChunkyPickle Sun 03-Mar-13 18:45:45

When people talk about a rod for my back I just laugh, snuggle in closer and tell them that he's such a nice, soft, warm rod.

That either makes them give a little soppy smile, or embarrasses them enough that I can change the subject smile

smellysocksandchickenpox Sun 03-Mar-13 18:36:01

well this week I've had it suggested to me that DS gets sick and upset if lay him down flat because I have him "used to being held in that thing" ("that thing" being sling).. erm noooo, I use "that thing" BECAUSE he has reflux and lying down causes him pain! hmm FFS

Yanbu, cuddle you baby as much as you wantsmile
You can never get those precious moments back x

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sun 03-Mar-13 18:31:28

Reiver Ugh, why do people feel the bloody need to compete with their childrens developement, so her kids were sleeping through at a week old, bully for her, all children are different. and your friend, what an idiot.

TattyDevine Sun 03-Mar-13 18:28:52

Generally I'd agree. Few exceptions; some older babies respond well to just having a pat and a shhhh in the middle of the night to help get them back to sleep on their own; this is a valuable skill to have, whether its babies, parents or grandmas, as my mother said!!! (she has trouble with this!!! - possibly for other reasons but a valid point)

Second; in the hospital with 2nd child, cuddling her CONSTANTLY, and she wasn't feeding AT ALL. Midwife told us off (both of us, who were hogging her totally grin ) and said "she thinks she's still in the womb and doesn't need food". She had a point - we put her in her crib thing, removed a blanket, and about 40 minutes later she perked up and realised she needed some grub grin and that her umbillical cord had been rudely severed from herself.

MrsReiver Sun 03-Mar-13 18:28:34

DS2 is 9 days old, and yesterday a friend of mine told me not to cuddle him too much or he'll "start to expect it all the time."

On Friday the lollipop woman at DS1's school asked "is he good?" I replied "of course he's good, he's a week old, he can't be naughty"

She replied "no I mean, does he sleep well?" again I replied "no, he's a week old - they don't usually sleep very well"

She shot back "well my weans slept through at that age"

So I retorted with "This one doesn't - he's normal, not naughty" and I stomped off shaking my head.

She wasn't impressed, I'll be walking a different way to get DS1 from now on grin

Chottie Sun 03-Mar-13 18:22:52

I always cuddled my babies all the time. I think it made them feel secure and loved. I still love cuddling my DC even though they are grown up smile

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sun 03-Mar-13 18:21:26

What drill sergent type woman came up with that crap anyway.

PickleSarnie Sun 03-Mar-13 18:11:25

Shhhhhhhhhh, clememtine. She who must not be named will come and put a curse on you causing you to adhere to a strict routine for all eternity.

MyDarlingClementine Sun 03-Mar-13 16:03:55

isnt it gina ford who espouses all this babys musnt be pandered too crap?

VodkaJelly Sun 03-Mar-13 15:20:47

My DD is 8 weeks old and I love cuddling her, if she cries I pick her up, if she is grumbly I pick her up. God help anybody who used that crock of shit about spoiling/rod for own back/wrapped round finger with me.

She is a little tiny baby who needs comfort and reassurance and I will pick her up anytime she wants.

She now likes to self settle at bed times and will happily go to her cot when still awake and drift off to sleep without being held. When she is awake I will cuddle her all the time because I love her.

TotallyBursar Sun 03-Mar-13 15:01:00

YANBU.
All of mine have been held, hugged, snuggled, rocked and talked to almost constantly. By both of us.
We kept them close & never had feeding or sleeping problems bar our SN son that suffered badly with colic & reflux and keeping him up in a sling & close to my body was definitely best for him. I was constantly told he should be put down even after I said it causes him unnecessary pain and I wasn't going to.

I have happy, secure and independent children that are kind and give/receive affection freely. Most importantantly for me is they are happy in their own skin & confident to explore the world without me & without anxiety - I still haven't had any pokes from that rod.
I know lots of parents don't want to parent the way we do & I keep my beak out I have enough to concentrate on with my own children. I don't mind answering questions but otherwise wish others would do the same.

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