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AIBU?

To think I'd be pregnant by now if there weren't any problems...

19 replies

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone · 27/02/2013 22:23

With ds I got pregnant the first cycle.
Have been trying for dc2 for about 16 months but no luck. We are now having infertility investigations but my dr was quite optimistic and said we still fall under the "normal" length of time to conceive.
However I ovulate every month, on time, 28 day predictable cycle, blood tests have confirmed ovulation plus I know my ovulation signs.

Aibu to think there must MUST be another issue. I said to the dr that I thought I should be pregnant by now as we know exactly which times to, ahem, concentrate our efforts. But she still seemed to think there probably wasn't a problem.

I think that I may have some scarring and am going for a hsg to check.

I just wondered if people had generally fallen pregnant relatively "easily" when trying at the right times? I have friends that found it hard to conceive because of long cycles, not ovulating every month, but with a regular cycle there must be some other issue, right?

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Moominsarescary · 27/02/2013 22:31

I was tic for 14 months with ds3, ds1&2 were both conceived by the second cycle.

My friend was tyc for just over 2 years with her dc 3, she also had no problems tic dc1&2

Sometimes it just takes longer than expected, it doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem. I hope it happens for you soon

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50shadesofpink · 27/02/2013 22:37

I've just had the blood tests and been told all is okay with me. It took 10 months to conceive DD1 but not had any luck with a DC2 and been trying since Nov 2011. GP has suggested that DH has a test to check sperm count etc...

Good luck. I know exactly how you must be feeling!
Every month I set myself up only to be hit like a bitch by the evil bitch! Currently 2 days before she strikes again - been having all the pregnancy symptoms, have POAS twice in 4 days both times negative so another month gone by!

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Whatsdoneisdoneisdone · 27/02/2013 22:39

Thank you, I'm starting to give up hope.
I know I'm lucky to have ds but that doesn't mean I want the second one any less than I wanted him when we TTC first time round.

The longer it goes on the less hopeful I feel. I suppose I'm older now and so is dh (30 and 38 respectively). I just feel like we've had 16 goes at exactly the right time and nothing!

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notnowbrowncow · 27/02/2013 22:42

Are you taking all the vitamin B's and omaga 3? I can not recommend it enough.

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50shadesofpink · 27/02/2013 22:44

I know exactly where you are coming from trust me! I could have written your last post. I'm 35 DH 33 and I also worry about age! And get less hopeful each time! Every month is the same! Bloody pissing on ovulation sticks then analysing each symptom! Promising self not to buy pregnancy test and just wait and see if I miss a period, but then giving in ! Then becoming even less hopeful when it's a negative!

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maddening · 27/02/2013 22:46

Have they checked dh's sperm yet? Are you both doing preconception vitamins (although probably teaching you to suck eggs so apologies if so)

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notnowbrowncow · 27/02/2013 22:46

I should add I was ttc for 3 years and was told by a fertility con to take these supplements and got pg the next month I also told some friends that were having problems and they got pg to.

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maddening · 27/02/2013 22:47

Have you tried the sperm meets egg plan?

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Christelle2207 · 27/02/2013 22:51

Worth finding out if your thyroid is ok, I TTC for a year and conceived very soon after starting to get underactive thyroid treated. Gp may dispute there is a link but I'm positive there is ( done lots of research).

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maddening · 27/02/2013 22:51

Yy to vit b - I took vitamin b 100 complex along with pre conception vitamins (which I think included omega 3) as I have pcos - but didn't have a long ttc really when we started properly trying and getting ov right - we had the cbfm and used that with the sperm meets egg plan - you dtd in the run up to ov then go like mad at ov - the cbfm tells you when you are in the run up to ov so you can get the guys in to cut it off at the pass ambush style.

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curiousgeorgie · 28/02/2013 14:39

I conceived DD the first month of trying.

Then we tried for DC2 for over two years, 6 miscarriages later... We're finally expecting DD2 and apparently there's nothing wrong with me.

I cut out caffeine, red meat, sugar, alcohol... Took loads of vitamins, made my DH take loads of vitamins and wouldn't let him have hot baths or go running...

But the month I got drunk at a wedding and stopped with all the vitamins is the month that it finally stuck.

Good luck Grin

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WorkingItOutAsIGo · 28/02/2013 14:47

I tried for DC3 for nearly 2 years. Did all the right things. Gave up trying, took a fab new job instead, but had drunken unprotected sex during my period the night before I started the new job. Bingo. DC3 is now 10.

So sometimes trying less hard works!

Good luck.

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Sidge · 28/02/2013 14:53

Don't get so hung up on having sex 'at the right time'. If you have penetrative ejaculatory sex every 2 days through the month (except when actively bleeding) sooner or later you should conceive, assuming no other issues.

Ovulation doesn't always happen when expected and eggs and sperm can live for days in the right environment; if you focus sex only around supposed/expected ovulation you might miss it!

Good luck.

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RunnerHasbeen · 28/02/2013 15:04

We don't understand all the reasons why some women get pregnant straight away and others take longer, or why some months are the lucky month. We don't even know why fertility drops with age, not completely. Most IVF referrals are unexplained or only concern factors that make it less likely for couples to conceive, not impossible.

I think your judgement is slightly clouded by how easy it was the first time round - that was very lucky. It is possible that there is something different this time around, but that doesn't mean it is one of the explanations we understand and you should decide without any reason that you have problem X. I assume if you had undergone major pelvic surgery since having DS, the doctor might have suggested scarring.

Basically be patient, don't give up the traditional trying and pin your hopes on something fixable. Don't get arse-y with the doctor either, for not performing miracles. I do know where you are coming from, I took 2 years to conceive DD, it is hard, but at 30 you have plenty of time. Good luck.

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50shadesofpink · 28/02/2013 15:25

Just bought three packs of Seven Seas 'Trying for a Baby' - taken the 1st one today!!

Let us know how you get on Whatsdoneisdoneisdone
Feel free to PM me! Maybe we can support one another through this journey...

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Whatsdoneisdoneisdone · 28/02/2013 17:15

Hi,
Thanks everyone for messages. I have been taking a general fertility vitamin plus folic acid but will have a look at the b vitamins.
My dr has been very good really, it's just that ds was an emergency c section and I had problems with infection afterwards which is why I was surprised she was still very much "there's probably nothing wrong" when I think it's likely I've been left with adhesions or scarring or a blocked tube.
Most people I know irl conceived their second child at least as quickly as their first, often faster, although I see on here that other people have found subsequent children have taken longer to conceive.

Dh is being tested next week.

I will pm you 50shades. No one in real life knows we are TTC so will be good to chat!

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50shadesofpink · 28/02/2013 17:46

My DD was an emergency c section too and my healing process after took longer than it should have. Maybe there is something in that!

My DH needs to go for a test but we have been told to go private by GP as the only hospital that does it near is in another Borough and doesn't have provision on site, so would have to get a sample to them within a certain, short, timeframe which won't be possible!

To top it all off the witch has reared her ugly head today!! It makes it harder because so many of my close friends/ relatives are on no 3 and there has been a spurt of newborns - dont get me wrong i am really pleased for them but it makes me sad at the same time for me if that makes sense! Ah well there's always next month Smile

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HavingALittleFaithBaby · 28/02/2013 18:10

Statically, yes and no. 80% of couples conceive within 1 year and 90% within 18 months. I would agree with those who say about not timing sex - better to have sex three times a well, every week (we TTC'd for over 2 1/2 years and I according to my scan I conceived two days before I saw any ovulation signs!).

However, given that its been 16 months its good that you're starting investigations. Good luck :)

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Yfronts · 28/02/2013 18:50

I had regular good periods and cervical mucus during ovulation but had secondary infertility - 4 years. Ring and ask for your day 21 progesterone level results. I went private in the end and what my private specialist sees as OK is different to the NHS. The NHS thought I was border line ovulation wise whilst the private specialist thought I was slightly under and needed help.

Also I had a C section with my first son and they removed some cysts on my ovaries at the same time. While under investigations it was found that although my tubes weren't blocked, they were stuck to my bowels! They corrected them and then started me on clomid to encourage a stronger ovulation. It worked 4 times!

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