AIBU when meeting new people, to judge them by the way they speak

(111 Posts)
PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 20:51:23

When meeting new people, I tend to listen to the way in which they speak, and then make a judgement- however the judgement shows with a snobbish face which I unfortunately inherited from my mother.

This is the latest scenario:

I have recently been skiing with my DH and DC along with friends who we regularly travel with. My friend this year introduced us to her new partner, whom I instantly disliked! Firstly, upon meeting the chap he called me 'babe' 'sweet haart' (pronounced as spelt) and speaking like a cockney, I felt like I was on an eastenders set! Personally it triggered all kinds of snobbish reactions for example when he asked me 'do ya wanna drink' I sharply replied 'NO THANK YOU'. In addition he repeatedly arranged his .... and sat with his legs so far apart that when I was made to sit next to him I found my self crossing my legs so tightly that my nose and lips looked like old raisons; obvious I was disgusted.

My friend confronted me about the issue- and I told her I thought he was not good enough for her, bearing in mind DF is a solicitor and is very elegant. It did not go down very well at all- and now we're not speaking.

DH told me that it's becoming an issue, since whenever I meet new people who I dislike my Mother Snob comes out! It's so embarrassing but I cannot seem to stop!!

Am I being an unreasonable snob or am I being fair?

Advice??

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:07:58

shit happens

SashaSashays Wed 27-Feb-13 21:08:05

Lol, fack me babes, this is well awk but u is lyk a proper twunt.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Feb-13 21:08:22

lolling is so common darling.

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:09:59

Similar to people who use the word 'common'!?

As a non-Brit, I actually thought people like you were an urban myth.

I mean, it just seems so bizarre!

If this is real, then acknowledging the problem is the first step. And if your upbringing is causing you real problems, like losing friends and offending people, then therapy is not a bad idea.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Feb-13 21:11:55

Come on, Penny.You can do better than that.

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:13:28

Aww okay thanks dreamingbohemian!

redlac Wed 27-Feb-13 21:13:49

I work for an voluntary organisation and you wouldn't last 5 minutes with the people we work with. Do not suggest volunteering to this OP

Bunfags Wed 27-Feb-13 21:19:28

Are you for real? You dislike regional accents? I've got an Estuary accent and I like it.

Thingiebob Wed 27-Feb-13 21:20:34

You are rude and judge people on the basis of their voice. It has nothing to do with wanting good company. It is just you having a nasty attitude.

Foggles Wed 27-Feb-13 21:20:46

I am very elegant.

I can walk with a pile of kindles on my head.

True.

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:21:12

Not regional accents- people who do not pronounce their words properly- you may have an Estuary accent- but pronounce your words properly! So its nothing against regional differences.....

SashaSashays Wed 27-Feb-13 21:23:50

I think maybe you should list what particular things turn your nose and mouth into raisins then helpful mn'ers can point out why these are wrong.

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:24:02

I don't believe its a nasty attitude- I think its basically hearing something you're not a custom to- therefore extremely difficult to accept- In my post I'm referring to a man who speaks lazily and who acts very gastly without any sophistication at all! Who speaks to my friend like she's a piece of dirt- get me this get me that. Shut up, and the worst phrase 'drop me out' whatever that means. When telling a story drop me out was a reoccuring response!

Locketjuice Wed 27-Feb-13 21:27:51

Your attitude makes you a dick.
So what, if you speak 'cockney' you don't enjoy good company.. Clearly if you speak 'common' you only enjoy the company of thief's and murderers! wink

IneedAgoldenNickname Wed 27-Feb-13 21:28:55

Does being a solicitor make you elegant? Or is it coincidence that your friend is both?

I ask because my friend is at uni doing a law degree, she is far from elegant, doesn't speak properly, and has 'Barbie' tattooed on the neck of her neck.

Still doing a law degree though

danidrury Wed 27-Feb-13 21:29:24

Am I when people don't spell judgment correctly?

Foggles Wed 27-Feb-13 21:29:49

You are changing your story now OP.

Your thread title was asking where YABU to judge people by the way they speak. Now you are saying that this man was acting very nastily to your friend.

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:30:01

Locketjuice seems to be speaking from experience! The term Cockney was used to label my friends partner who only talks about football, how many pints he can drink in an hour and how many 'birds' he's 'shagged' personally I don't wish to hear these things nor talk about them!

BOF Wed 27-Feb-13 21:30:24

Still, at least you aren't a snob about spelling and general knowledge, so that's something.

Ginebra Wed 27-Feb-13 21:30:34

You sound so common OP

Foggles Wed 27-Feb-13 21:31:29

Did your elegant friend just sit there and listen to all of this?

RobinSparkles Wed 27-Feb-13 21:32:07

YABU babe.

Luckyluckyme Wed 27-Feb-13 21:32:35

Are your initials KH by any chance OP?

PennyBrowne Wed 27-Feb-13 21:32:49

A solicitor conveys a sense of academic rigor not forgetting my friends ability to converse fluently e.t.c Doing a Law degree is different from being a solicitor since they don't have a profession yet, just studying law!

My story hasn't changed, basically the man was acting unreasonable towards my friend! Likewise, to the children.

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