Mumsnet Talk

I'm due to give birth to dc2 in a matter of weeks.

With dc1 I had an emergency cs and was just overwhelmed with the amount of visitors who literally appeared an hour after ds arrived. I was feeling so vulnerable and out of it after a 2 day failed labour but within the hour had mil, fil, bil all standing over me joking 'you look rough' taking pictures of ds and me looking like death and emailing them to everyone they could think of!

I get on fine with them, however they like to do 'what suits them'. Ds is now 2 and mil and fil have never looked after him or babysat for us. Bil has twice when we went to cinema. I suppose this grates on me a bit, particularly mil who has never worked and admits she is bored but says she's not good with babies or toddlers. She also took it upon herself to come to hospital every day when ds was born, but never helped or held him - interestingly her friends said to me afterwards "Oh Nana came every day to the hospital didn't she?"

It got so overwhelming that I asked dh to say to fil not to come every night after work (he works 15 mins from hospital) as I didn't want visitors at 7pm at night. FIL on two occasions sat in the carpark for an hour phoning dh to see if it was OK to come up. DH had to go down and tell him to go home at 8.30pm.

I am due to have an elcs with dc2 and expect to be in for 3 days. I don't want them to visit me, I just hate feeling uncomfortable laid up and in pain with people looking at me and I do feel a little like they aren't particularly bothered with dc1 so why should they come for those precious first days when I want to bond with newborn.

I told dh that I have no issue at all with them coming round as soon as we get home (though last time I was in hospital for a week and by the time we got home it was almost like they were bored of ds so we didn't see them for ages which is when I needed the help the most!)

However, my mum and sister will be looking after ds for us so will be coming to hospital, they have also provided all our childcare for the past 2 years. Dh thinks I am being unfair as my mum and sister are 'allowed' but I don't want his mum, dad, brother, etc there. AIBU?