Chatty Check out bloke

[lurkerspeaks]

Ok. I admit I might be being a teeny tiny bit unreasonable.

I've just come back from my parents' Dad's house via a well known foodstore.

Check out bloke loves to chat and constantly comments on your food and your mood.

On the day of my Mother's funeral last month (I was on an emergency tights mission) he told me to "Cheer up love, it could be worse". I was dressed in head to toe black and at that particular moment life was pretty shit.

Today I've had a terrible day sorting through her stuff and writing to family members about her death. I was pretty terse (but not rude) and was clearly giving off vibes that didn't want to want to be drawn into chat but her persisted. I really didn't want him to comment on the incongruity of my shopping (calorie counted ready meals and a big family dessert). Yes I know I'm a fat bint. I'm trying to do something about it but have promised to take dessert to a friends house. I really didn't appreciate being told once again to "Cheer up".

AIBU to tell him the next time to stop being so bloody inappropriate as he hasn't got a clue what challenges people are facing in their life?

[BabsAndTheRu]

Go to another check out that he isn't on or use the self serve to avoid getting upset. You don't need the extra stress at the moment and the worry would be that you say something you regret and that would make you feel worse.

[lurkerspeaks]

Today there wasn't another check out open. I had too much stuff (a trolley full) to do self service.

[SoleSource]

Yanbu If you cannot avoid, I would tell him that you have suffered a close family bereavment and it is not up fot discussion.

All the best to you.

[fluckered]

its a tough time for you i understand. though dare i say i feel yab a little u. he doesnt know whats going on. i'd prefer a friendly over bearing chatty guy than an ignorant bint any day. its not his fault life is shit at the moment for you. anyways i wish you well.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

This annoys me too. Theres a particularly leery assistant in my local supermarket, aswell as one that takes all bloody day and a woman who gets out a calculator for sure start vouchers.

I find the "Cheer up." and "It could be worse." comments you describe really rude tbh and I am not surprised you are upset at him.

Do try to ignore it though. He does have a shift to get through. And it will probably wind you up more than saying anything would ever affect him.

I am sorry for your loss.

[gingeme]

You have Check out asisstants that chat to you ? Wow didnt think they existed any more since I worked at a Check out 20 years ago
Sorry for your loss

[Primadonnagirl]

Oh lurker , I've just posted about this very thing on another thread! YANBU ! Yes he is just trying to be friendly but he should be aware that not everyone wants to chat...you are there to shop. I am amazed at how often I get comments on what I am buying...eg a cream cake..." Ooh are we being naughty today!" ...two tins of G and T " "they'd better not both be for you!".. I usually give one of those tight little smiles that don't reach your eyes and say nothing but I wish I had the guts to say " mind Your own beeswax!" and before anyone accuses me of sales assistant bashing..I worked in retail for many years as have a lot of my family do I m not being snobby..just respectful.

[TidyDancer]

I tend to prefer chatty to the belligerent ones. I dared to ask for a bag for some bits and bobs on Friday night, the assistant took against this for some reason and proceeded to launch my shopping down the checkout. My Tuc biscuits and malted milks were in pieces by the end of it!

[SoleSource]

I would have said something about that Tidy!

[ninjasquirrel]

A bloke (and it's always a bloke) telling a woman (always a woman) to cheer up is always irritating because it's patronising. They treat men they don't know with more respect. If you can manage it, when you're less stressed, I'd tell him as kindly as possible if he says it again that you know he means well but actually it's not nice when you've come from a funeral, which happened the other day, so maybe he should be a bit more careful.

[TidyDancer]

Sole - I glared at her, but I didn't realise they'd actually been broken until later. Is it really a crime to want a carrier bag?! I asked and she barked "what?" back at me so I had to repeat myself. I have to think she was just having a bad day or something.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

He needs to learn some basic social skills, IMO.

It is quite easy to get this one right, and telling someone to cheer up isn't 'chat', it's rude. Who doesn't know that?!

[nickelbabe]

it is patronising and fucking rude to tell a complete stranger to cheer up precisely because they have no idea what's happening in your life.

yy it's usually a man to a woman.

ywbu not to call him on it though. I know not everyone feels strong enough, but I would have done after the first time and most definitely after the second time.

yanbu to be pissed off.

[LadyApricot]

I actually dread the 'talkers' because I'm there to do my shopping, not have a conversation! I suppose it could be deemed a very British way to be, I don't know. The worst was when I was with my sister and we were in a real rush. The guy just wouldn't stop talking. In the end my sister irately burst out with "hurry up will you and stop talking so much!" I was mortified but good on her really.
I think you should say something next time , hopefully it'll teach him to take more notice of body language and what's appropriate.

[Clawdy]

Sorry LadyApricot but I think your sister was unforgivably rude.

[fluffyraggies]

Cheer up love has been one of my pet hates since the age of about bloody 14! It would often come after ignoring a wolf whistle. Nothing more guaranteed to make me un-cheerful

OP, i would, if you possibly can, say something back like - i'm having a very sad/stressful/difficult time right now, so i'm not that cheerful i'm afraid.
It might make him think twice in future. Might.

[manticlimactic]

Customers say 'cheer up, it may never happen' to staff as well.