to nearly be caught short in waitrose in the loo department.....TMI alert..

(99 Posts)
wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 17:42:17

by being so embarassed. had an orange in the cafe in ikea with dd which for some reason decided to not stay for long. was in w'rose and had to RUSH with dd in tow to the ladies. one loo not working. by the time it was my turn there was another two women in the queue. i couldn't keep it in so in a feeble attempt to disguise the sound i asked dd to check what was on my shopping list (she was the other side of the door). i was crying with laughter nearly as she was reading out the most ridiculous stuff from my shopping list as the same time i was desperately trying to disguise what was going on the other side of the door.........i felt so sorry for the other women waiting patiently to go in. tbh if i had been her i would have done anything NOT to have gone in after me sad

bridgetsmum Sat 23-Feb-13 17:45:48

Why were you trying to disguise the sound? You were in a loo having a wee!!!

Mrsrobertduvall Sat 23-Feb-13 17:46:30

Be grateful you found a loo.
I was nearly hysterical in Covent Garden on Friday as I tried to find a loo.
I was going hot and cold.
Ds 13 was mortified.

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 17:46:33

bridge it wasn't a wee......

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 17:47:25

mrs you could have gone into a restaurant and begged smile

dontwanttobefatandforty Sat 23-Feb-13 17:47:37

bridget I dont think it was a wee she was having

NC78 Sat 23-Feb-13 17:49:42

It's a toilet. People don't que up in a loo and expect to hear the sound of angels singing...

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Feb-13 17:50:07

Having a poo at Waitrose Is this a stealth boast. grin

Seriously though, I would have been mortified too. sad

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Feb-13 17:51:04

But they might be a bit hmm at the sound of a huge whirlysplat poo NC78. Especially in Waitrose.

bridgetsmum Sat 23-Feb-13 17:52:35

Lol, sorry I thought it was an orange drink wink

In that case, I might have been doing the same lol

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 17:53:55

i am skint at the minute so only go to waitrose here and there but in this instance dd and i were going to the cafe for a hot chocolate as a treat. i don't like going into a loo after someone that i know has done a poo. i know we all do them but smelling a strangers poo ain't my idea of fun, poo sods who went in after me. i am still cringing about it. pathetic really (that i am still thinking about it). come to think of it, the orange in idea was pretty horrible :D

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 17:54:34

* i meant pooR sods :-D

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 17:55:41

bridge the orange was REALLY hard to peel and i couldn't separate the segments. i didn't know you could get a dodgy orange that might give you the runs

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Feb-13 17:55:45

Our Waitrose doesn't have a cafe. sad

I know exactly what you mean winter and I would still be thinking about it. grin at 'poo sods' though.

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Feb-13 17:56:55

My Mum had a smiliar incident involving a glass of orange juice and a prawn sandwich. on the train. sad blush

The trick is to flush as soon as you plop, it masks the sound and reduces the smell, you also get a refreshing burst of water on your bumhole.

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 18:00:14

sparkl what on earth did your mum do? i used to have panic attacks on the tube if it stopped in a tunnel and i needed to 'go'. to this day i always try and go before i get on the tube. the bowel responds REALLY quickly to anxiety. what did she do??

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Feb-13 18:00:15

grin Kiss I do that. blush Then maybe a quick squirt of bodyspray. (Not on bumhole, just in general)

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Feb-13 18:01:09

She did a huge stinky whirlysplat poo on the train winter. sad

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 18:01:41

akiss good idea although in this instance, i don't think one flush would have lasted long enough, it was that bad. i wouldn't mind but i only had a few mouthfuls as it was a horrible orange

wintertimeisfun Sat 23-Feb-13 18:03:14

sparkl was it an over bround train (with toilets) or a tube train (with no toilets), sorry, just nosey

You need to courtesy flush wink

Did you camo cough as you did it? grin

I love that spoof e-mail that once went round about how to poo at work

ShoutyHead Sat 23-Feb-13 18:10:30

I always flush to cover the sound. Also next time ask dd to wash her hands then when the ha dryer is on go for it!

Seriously though I used to have bad bowel problems I once did a massive poo in a dodgy car park toilet, it was horrific. I heard someone come into the loos gasp "dear god" and then leave straight away. Another time the lady in the next cubicle actually sprayed her bodyspray to mask the smell. I stayed in the cubicle for a long time!

Moominlandmidwinter Sat 23-Feb-13 18:19:21

Oh no. I think that I would have died from embarrassment. I have a phobia of pooing in public toilets. We were coming back from my Dad's last week, and DH missed the junction on the motorway because he was 'thinking about leopards'. At this precise moment, I realised that my lunch had gone through quicker than usual. I can relate to the going hot and cold. We were still miles from home, and no services in sight- not that I wanted to use one! It was one of the worst 30 minutes in a car, ever.

ShellyBoobs Sat 23-Feb-13 18:49:13

DH missed the junction on the motorway because he was 'thinking about leopards'.

That's both bizarre and hilarious, Moomin. grin

Does he have other random thoughts which distract him?

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