To announce he's going out to watch rugby tomorrow isn't very nice

(124 Posts)
1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 17:38:37

maybe he should ask

I've lost perspective here, but I don't think it's very caring or thoughtful

goldenlula Sat 23-Feb-13 17:55:02

blush should read before posting!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:56:43

I think op needs to put us out of our misery before we all typonourselves to death

HecateWhoopass Sat 23-Feb-13 17:56:51

When you say ask do you mean ask permission to go or ask out of politeness whether or not you have plans or whether it's convenient for you etc?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:57:01

Blooby sausage fingers

PurplePidjin Sat 23-Feb-13 17:59:51

Depends how it's done, really.

"Sweetheart, some of the lads are meeting at the pub to watch the match later. Thought i might join them, unless you've got a better idea?"

Would have me responding

"Have fun, darling"

"Right I'm off to the pub, don't wait up"

Would elicit

"Oi, what the fuck?!"

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 18:01:16

agree jamie and pidjin

OHforDUCKScake Sat 23-Feb-13 18:04:18

Exactly Purple, if we were altogether on the weekend and DP suddenly got up, put his shoes on and said 'Right Im going out to the rugby.' Id be hmm and pissed off.

If he'd mentioned it before hand, the night before or something then no problem, I can arrange to do something just me and the kids, or he could take one or both of the kids.

Its curtious to disuss these things. Its a bit harsh to upsticks and leave with no prior warning.

Ashoething Sat 23-Feb-13 18:07:27

I would expect my dh to run it by me if he was planning on going out-as I do with him. I make sure I get him to put my nights out in his diary though as I know he never bloody listens to a word I saygrin

GirlOutNumbered Sat 23-Feb-13 18:07:43

It would be weird for my DH just to get up and say 'I'm going out to watch the rugby'.... I mean, he's at the rugby now but he told me about last week, I think it's fine to say he's going out tomorrow... Unless you have already made plans or something!

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 18:14:35

OP? hello? anyone there?

1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 18:14:55

He is dh
Yes we have a ds

He just came in and told me

Not "do we have any plans?"
Not "would you mind?"

No discussion, done deal

Tbh, im glad he's going out, but I'm just annoyed with the way he did it, he just seems to do what he wants

If I wanted to go out for lunch, or even do something by myself for half an hour, then it would take a lot of organisation--for him to look after his son

DH probably would say "I'm off to do this tomorrow" but would then follow that with "as long as that's OK with you"....so I guess that's different.

It would be more likely to be me going to watch the rugby though....I'm watching it now and he's not interested grin

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 18:20:45

so OP you start 'announcing' things too. if it's ok for him to do it;s ok for you to do. just plan to do stuff and dont tell him til the day before, let him organise ds.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sat 23-Feb-13 18:24:29

You just need to do it OP.

Tell him you're going out. Not tomorrow, he's already bagsied it.

But why on earth should it be a lot of organisation for him to look after his own son? He needs to get used to it and you need to facilitate that.

PurplePidjin Sat 23-Feb-13 18:27:52

Then hibu and, depending on how old ds is, i would do the same to him tomorrow. Shoes on and walk round the block for 10 minutes, or shopping/coffee with a newspaper/gym for longer.

Ds is 3mo and ebf (feels like hourly hmm) and dp can entertain him for half an hour while i soak in the bath if we time it right. It's good for their relationship!

OHforDUCKScake Sat 23-Feb-13 18:34:12

OP YANBU.

1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 21:32:09

Ah, fuck him
Just had big row about the cheese that's gone off in the fridge
I've been at my mums all week, apparently I should have known.
Think he wanted me to eat everything before I went
Its mozzarella, he eats it, not me
How I an supposed to be responsible for eating his cheese when I'm not fucking here, I don't know

1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 21:33:37

And he's too hot
FFS

1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 21:38:16

And he's annoyed that my dad hasn't booked in the whisky tour that he bought him for Xmas
Yes, buy someone a nice Xmas present and then bug them to book it

BarbarianMum Sat 23-Feb-13 21:41:11

He rowed with you over cheese - did it attack him when he opened the fridge door or something??? Did he find it in his suit pocket???

Can you think of 5 really good things about him, just off the top of your head?

1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 21:43:26

Nope
Cant think of one thing actually

IsThatTrue Sat 23-Feb-13 21:44:08

confused

ISeeRedPeople Sat 23-Feb-13 21:50:14

There's more to this than rugby and cheese isn't there.

Am failing to understand why gone off cheese can't be binned...

I'm with the 'running by yes, asking no' crowd

GreenEggsAndNichts Sat 23-Feb-13 22:09:14

Not sure I understand people bristling at the idea of asking. I mean, is it not just common courtesy? The inference is, of course, that someone is expected to stay behind and mind the children. Or, perhaps there are other plans which have been forgotten, so you phrase potential plans in the form of a question.

DH and I regularly say "oh there's XYZ happening on Tuesday, is that alright?" or whatever. Neither of us is controlling, but also, neither of us is prepared to leave the 4 yr old in charge of the house, either. smile

Anyway, OP, yes it does sound as if something else is wrong. sad I'm sorry.

1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 22:48:25

Seriously
I can't believe the nonsense row
But he couldn't see it
The mozzarella was 2 days over, not like it was green

I've been away since Sunday, apparently, as I knew I would be away I either shouldn't have bought the cheese, or told him when to eat it

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now