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To think that Esther Rantzen justifying her affair with a married father of three

(114 Posts)
Fleecyslippers Fri 22-Feb-13 21:26:26

Is pathetic and self serving and nauseating. I hadn't realised her marriage started as an affair.

I dislike her even more now.

flippinada Sat 23-Feb-13 14:57:03

Megatron that's awful. I think in some ways that the betrayal of friendship and the deceit is the worst aspect of it.

cjel Sat 23-Feb-13 15:10:30

Affairs are wrong. End relationship. start new. Why not? It really is that easy that necessary and can't understand all excuses for it not to be that way.

Megatron Sat 23-Feb-13 15:15:39

flippin absolutely. I felt as though they'd been laughing at me. She was like my best friend as well as my cousin and apparently they'd been at it for years. She looked me straight in the eye and promised me that the rumours were just gossip and that they would never do that me. He laughed at the very suggestion. Then I caught them at 2am one night when I got up for a wee.

flippinada Sat 23-Feb-13 15:20:30

How horrible Megatron.

I've been defending ER on here as I feel women often get more blame got affairs than men, but in truth I don't understand how someone could do that to a friend...or anyone, really.

flippinada Sat 23-Feb-13 15:21:18

For affairs, not "got". Smartphone playing silly buggers again.

Megatron Sat 23-Feb-13 15:25:28

It was a really shitty time to be sure. It was 16 years ago and I still think about it. I can say in all honesty that the affair, though awful, didn't hurt as much as the betrayal by both of them.

flippinada Sat 23-Feb-13 15:52:32

I don't think I'd forget something like that either.

you don't forget.

you don't forget your dad disappearing off with some woman and letting you down and leaving you in the aftermath. you don't forget your friend being put through it. you certainly don't forget it happening to you and especially when you have children and your whole life is changed and shaped from there on by the fact their actions broke up your family and totally changed what you thought was your life.

if you are unhappy in a relationship you should leave - not just wait till you find another bed to jump into.

must say the idea that people having morals and ethics is 'horrible' is still twisting my head.

ImperialBlether Sat 23-Feb-13 16:27:39

Megatron, that must have been absolutely awful for you. Do you mean you asked them beforehand if anything was going on? There were rumours about them and she still came to your home?

Are they together now?

Megatron Sat 23-Feb-13 17:13:23

They never did really get together in the aftermath Imperial. Her mum (my aunt) had suspicions and asked my cousin if anything was going on and my cousin and my ex then came to me and told me that if my aunt said anything to me that it was rubbish and it was only because they had fallen out. She then kept coming to my house a couple of times a week for abut a year after until I caught them.

onedev Sat 23-Feb-13 17:41:34

That is horrible Megatron.

it's horrible megatron.

pretending affairs such as this one is just poor star crossed lovers is ridiculous. lying, cheating, betraying for 8 years. carrying on climbing in bed with your wife at night. carrying on pretending to be the woman's friend and coming into her house, letting her cook for you, letting her invite you to spend time with her children.

i don't understand how anyone can go ahhhh but they loved each other.

it is vile behaviour and i don't believe any decent person could indulge themselves in such a way with so little empathy, compassion or conscience.

you'd have to an especially selfish and entitled person to do this imo.

i'm a zillion miles from a saint and i have never and would never do this. unless you're capable of behaving in such a way yourself i'm not sure how you can defend it confused

I watched this last night and just felt ER was so garish about the affair. I don't agree with affairs I'm off the camp that if you are unhappy in your marriage and having thoughts of being with someone else then the kindest thing to do is leave. But that isn't what made me dislike ER so much last night. It was the fact that this went on for 8 years and during that time she acted as a friend to the 1st wife. That would be the thing that would cut me up, the deceit, thinking back over conversions. Thinking how could you be so blind, so stupid. How could the people who you thought cared about you do this to you.

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