Mumsnet Talk

Op I would speak to the school definatley even if they cannot "take sides" as a volunteer it would be simple enough to place get in a different class to your child. Remember any stress on you and your partner will affect your children do the school should be made aware of it imho

I am not surprised you are upset. That is an extremely nasty comment. As it is so, so awful I bet that anyone else reading it would also realise that she is a nasty piece of work.

I hope you are OK. [bunch]

Oops I meant

I would go and ask that she not help in your DC's class.

I am so very very sorry op she sounds vile.

I am a TA and would not dream of mentioning any of the children/parents in my class or school.. She is making a huge mistake doing this and school will have a policy on social media which she is supposed to adhere to.

I would report this to the HT.

Again so sorry xx

I would take it to the HT of your dc school.

She is accusing the parents of a child she teaches of having deliberately harmed the child, and she is doing so publicly.

Schools increasingly have Acceptable Usage of Social Media policies which give guidance about what can be posted on FB etc.

Even if she is a volunteer TA she would be covered by this so well worth looking into whether your DC school has such a policy.

Written = libel. Spoken = slander.

And you don't have to mention somebody by name for it to be libel or slander, the only benchmark is that a reasonable person in the relevant audience would know who is being talked about. Of course this can vary from one forum to another, but in this context it seems pretty clear, not least because you've had other people bring it to your attention.

I agree that police probably won't get involved, and that a libel case would cost more than it's worth, but getting Facebook and the school (with screenshot) to do something about it are the ways forward. Yes, the school would be interested to know about this abuse of internet, and yes, you can get rid of a volunteer (or paid) worker for this sort of breach. Hell, if I were her head teacher, I'd be tempted to sack her for misuse of the word "conscience".

And take heart that many friends-in-common are giving you their support. You said some people have told her what she wrote was vile, etc - have you heard anything further, like what she'd said to them in reply?

I don't think you have much to gain by writing to the woman directly, best case scenario you'll make her day for upsetting you so much, worst case, she'll find a way to twist your words yet again.

Keep us posted! And hugs to your DS.

School DO have a duty! She wrote a comment accusing abuse on a public forum about a child in her care at school. Hence why teachers who flagged families off on Facebook have recently lost their jobs, they didn't name names either.

You need to go in speak to the head and state you are concerned a member of their staff is spreading serious allegations on a public forum where it may be read by other parents.

If she is working at your children's school surely she can't be allowed to have parents on her fb list.

As others have said the school should have a social media policy and I'm sure they will not be happy that she has spoken like that about the family of a child she works with.

Definitely make a complaint and say you are not happy that she is in class with any of your children.

OP, I have sent you a private message x

PureQuintessence Mon 18-Feb-13 14:01:08

*I would take it to the HT of your dc school.
She is accusing the parents of a child she teaches of having deliberately harmed the child, and she is doing so publicly*

I agree with this. Even if the HT does not take it seriously, or nothing more is said, it cannot cause any more hurt than Altinkum is going through right now.

she isn't accusing them of deliberately harming him though. She is accusing them of being careless and letting him down in some unspecified way.

However given that she knows neither is the case, what she is saying is still malicious, inappropriate, untrue and and an appalling thing for anyone to say, let alone someone in her position.

The police have recently had new guidance from the DPP. They won't prosecute for being unkind.

Definitely go to the head about this. I spoke to the head about a TA at school and was reassured. My complaint was both unsubstantiated and personal (exH and woman related) and I fully expected to be dismissed with a 'grow up' and 'we're professional' response but the Head took on board my concern and promised this woman would never work in my DCs class (yes, I was amazed)

Hi

Sorry I haven't replied as their isn't much to tell, I will be going to school on Monday, but understandably I'm trying to not think about it.
My comment had no malice or bad karma towards her, just stating my experience, and if she allowed me to say, that we all have different experience...

I said a word on here that MN quite rightfully deleted, I wrongly didn't know it was a disablist word, and for that I apologise.

Hope you got a satisfactory response from school.

Im sure she cannot mention in any context children where she works

I would go to the school, I wouldn't want my children anywhere near her, really disguting behaviour.

disgusting

The school would want to know about this. Parents tell Headteachers many things that are not always relevant, but this is.

Altinmum I really feel for you as something similar happened last year with my DS. A woman I thought was friendly actually referred to my DS as "a little shit" on Facebook. I only saw it as someone sent me a screen grab but like you I was hurt, angry and shocked.
Tbh the school did not get too involved and on balance I think that was wrong but time has gone by now and I have let it go despite wanting to call her all the names under the sun the next time I saw her at the school gate, I still hate her.

Like others have said....she is an awful woman, do t let her sap your energy.

Likewise don't PM her...but if it helps then were the message you would like to send....I did this, didn't send it but still have it to remind me of the fact she is a bitch and not worthwhile.

The message I would send her is this...

You accused me of deliberately harming my child through my own selfishness and that I have a guilty conscious, and that (in your opinion) I have failed to do the best for my son.

I realise now your true character was always false, when you came to the house with gifts. Seen first hand just how devastated we were.... Including ds1... and then come to future parties like his first birthday party, annual Halloween parties that we hold... But because I simply stated a fact... In that the RVI saved my child's life, you then took it beyond personal in YOU bringing our innocent children into a non difference of opinion. I may suggest to you that you are continually telling me on Fb/friends etc... To get a life well I'm more fidfiled than I've ever been.

I honestly hope toy get the answer You need for your child.

I rely do how x is ok and you get the results your expecting, however