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To expect the same amount of free time at the weekend as DH?

(57 Posts)
clarycat Sun 17-Feb-13 19:29:48

I am so cheesed off that catching up with the housework seems to take up most of my weekend daylight hours, and yet DH has at least 6 hours each day for leisure. Evenings are different - my butt hits the sofa and that's that!

I'm not saying he does nothing because he does help out on Sunday morning but I will continue all the while he's out.

I really wish I could develop a strategy for keeping on top of things during the week and having hardly anything to do at the weekend, but again it's me doing it all. I work just beyond school hours, and when I get in of an evening I finally sit at around 6:30.

I'm sure there are others worse of, but I'm only referring to what I feel is the injustice within my own four walls.

FredFredGeorge Sun 17-Feb-13 19:33:24

What do you do that takes 16+ hours of housework?

I'd look at getting that down to a more sensible level, maybe downsize from the mansion?

ChestyLeRoux Sun 17-Feb-13 19:35:35

I agree that sounds like an abnormal amount of work

You should have the same amount of leisure time across the whole week.

clarycat Sun 17-Feb-13 19:37:40

Ha ha, I wish it was a mansion!! Now you've put it like that it sounds ridiculous. Maybe I do it all too slowly wink

Trills Sun 17-Feb-13 19:38:13

You should get the same amount of free time overall, so YA probably NBU depending on how much free time you get in the week.

I agree that if you are doing housework from when school ends til 6.30 and all day at the weekend then you could probably be more efficient, unless you have 7 toddlers, 8 big dogs, and your DH is spending his free time throwing food at the walls.

Flisspaps Sun 17-Feb-13 19:41:09

YANBU, based on the title. Now I'll read your OP.

redskyatnight Sun 17-Feb-13 19:41:20

DH and I both work full time. I would love to be able to sit down as early as 6.30.

During the week we put a load of washing in every night, hang it out to dry in the morning and fold and put away at night (everyone does their own).
After tea the kitchen and the dining room get cleared and surfaces wiped down.
The DC have to tidy the lounge.

At weekends we have an hour (and I mean strictly an hour at most as no one wants to do more) where we do cleaning - that's enough time to hoover and dust, clean the bathroom and mop floors). DC (9 and 7) do their own rooms and pitch in where necessary.

"Bigger" jobs such as cleaning the oven happen as and when.

I would not be spending hours each weekend cleaning.

Flisspaps Sun 17-Feb-13 19:42:12

Why is DH not sharing the household chores beyond 'helping' hmm on a Sunday?

McNewPants2013 Sun 17-Feb-13 19:43:07

he does help out so does he see housework as your jobs.

I am very anal about housework, I am doing housework til 9.30 most evenings, but free time should be equal. ( i just prefer cleaning in my free time)

DH does the bare minimum in this house, as it's pointless him doing more as i will go over everything again.

BlackMaryJanes Sun 17-Feb-13 19:44:27

What household chores do you do?

woopsidaisy Sun 17-Feb-13 19:44:41

Get a cleaner. Mine comes on Friday am. I tidy house from top to bottom Thursday pm- DH takes kids to cubs. DH helps with washing, ironing etc puts out bins, recycling etc on day to day basis. Weekends of for us catch up on sleep-I'm bf newest one- go to park, zoo, swimming etc. Then flop on sofa together in pm. Both DH and I would lose it if we had to do housework on weekends!
But free time should be shared. Does he not notice/care that you are doing housework?

clarycat Sun 17-Feb-13 19:44:54

Lol Trills I'm sure there are times when he has felt like throwing it against the wall but he just says no thanks now when I tell him what's on the menu! I only have 2 pre-teens, 1 dog, 2 cats and a goldfish, but in this weather the dog creates so much dirt!

SamSmalaidh Sun 17-Feb-13 19:45:08

If you and your DH are both finished by 6.30pm and there is still more to do then either you both need to do an extra hour in the evenings, or you both need to spend some extra time at the weekends doing stuff.

YANBU to expect exactly the same amount of leisure time!

I agree with everyone else though, what on earth are you doing?

zipzap Sun 17-Feb-13 19:45:40

Why not say 'whoopee time to stop house work feet up time for me now too' when your dh goes out next weekend (assuming it's for fun) and save the housework until he's there to help again?

Might take him a while to get used to the fact that the magic housework fairy isn't coming while he is out and you are wanting leisure time too - but if you're resolute about saving the work to share it with him then he should soon cotton on and see that you don't view housework as your favourite leisure activity as he previously wanted assumed.

Snazzynewyear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:50:34

What is it that he goes out to do while you are doing housework?

clarycat Sun 17-Feb-13 19:56:56

Okay, I'm going to think about what I do. Between 2 and 5 loads of washing and drying (I am trying do slip one in during the week), hoovering house, tidying all the bits and bobs away left lying around during the week, shopping, cleaning floors, cleaning bathroom. It all seems a bit general really!

forevergreek Sun 17-Feb-13 20:00:22

Get everyone to help.

Surely both pre teens can Hoover once a week each, one clean te bathroom once, one clean the kitchen once.

That leave you and dh to run the mop around, clean up as you go, and the odd dust. Washing done between you all ( get two baskets and everyone sorts dark and lights out themselves) then put in wash

Max 30 mons work a week for pre teens
Max 2 hrs each for adults

Jengnr Sun 17-Feb-13 20:00:28

Just don't do it.

forevergreek Sun 17-Feb-13 20:01:06

And do all shopping online so it can be don't with wine in hand

Yfronts Sun 17-Feb-13 20:01:38

Sit him down and make a plan. Make a rota of jobs/days.

Aim to both do half an hour weekday evenings finishing 7pm.

Aim to both do an hour and a half sat and sun.

SilverSky Sun 17-Feb-13 20:05:06

I put a load of washing on a day. Otherwise I would drown in it. Putting it away I'm not so hot on.

YANBU to expect the same amount of free time. There must be a way of dividing up the chores between you.

SamSmalaidh Sun 17-Feb-13 20:09:13

Get the laundry done in week (put a load on in the morning, take it out to hang up/dry when you get in from work, DH and DC can put away). Maybe take turns one person hoovering a room while the other clears the kitchen after dinner.

Then at the weekend you can all spend an hour - one person cleans bathroom, other person tidies/mops kitchen floor, children tidy and hoover their rooms.

Shopping - can you do an online order? Or one person goes shopping while the other stays at home and tidies the house?

clarycat Sun 17-Feb-13 20:23:08

Gosh, I couldn't possibly ask DH to help out during the week. His job is way more tiring and stressful than mine! hmm. Oh, and he doesn't clean like I do, only tidies IFSWIM!

HorizonFocus Sun 17-Feb-13 20:24:44

Clary If you want to be housework martyr, why are you posting?
You need to change your mindset from DH 'helping' to sharing the load.

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