To think DP is being an arse? (Long and boring -sorry)

(33 Posts)
Arcadia Sat 16-Feb-13 12:23:37

So I had a rare night out last night with friends, planned for ages, and texted DP at 10.30pm to ask him to make up sofa bed downstairs so I wouldn't disturb him when I came in. He sent a nice text back and did and that was fine. I got in around 1 then when DP got up for DD (3) at 7.30am I went to bed upstairs. This is what we do when one has a night out and the other takes DD out so they get a quiet morning (and I'll do Sunday morning this week).

Anyway I got up at 10.30. some friends had dropped round briefly to collect something but i didn't know that til i got up so i chatted to them. They left. then DD got whingey and DP couldn't get her to go out with him and she got stroppy and wet herself (she is in early days of potty training but so far only accidents are when she gets upset). I then had to change her etc. and said to DP he should just have taken her out. He said I shoud have stayed in bed and was 'nosy' to come downstairs! He quickly got angry with me and was muttering and slamming around and then they left without him saying goodbye.

Is he punishing me for having gone out? He has similar nights out with lads then hungover morning when I take her out so he has a quiet time. He also mentioned that he heard me coming in as he was listening out for me. Is he my dad?! I feel like a naughty teenager. He will now probably be in a mood at least for the rest of today. He seems to have no initiative with taking her out and timing things so that she just goes along with it, and makes it feel like he is doing me a favour. I had her all day yesterday and ran her ragged with swimming and soft play so she would be nice and tired at bedtime for him and yet he cannot even take her out for a Saturday morning? I work part time and him full, we share weekends but he does mornings in the week too. I tend to do more at the weekends because he gets grumpy.

I genuinely want to know whether I should be apologising to him, or him to me.

Arcadia Sat 16-Feb-13 13:39:54

I never said he had been that bad or done much wrong, that was why I asked on this thread and most people seem to think he had been a bit out of order so I explored that, now we have both apologised for our part in it and will live happily ever after.

MegBusset Sat 16-Feb-13 13:40:09

Sorry posted too soon. Is it really worth getting in a strop over?

OHforDUCKScake Sat 16-Feb-13 13:40:23

Agreed Mrs.

Did I misread the OP then, OP? Is it full weekends you take it in turns to have?

Thats how I used to do it with DP when DC1 was here but its because we were seperated at the time. Thats quite a 'separated' thing to be doing...

MegBusset Sat 16-Feb-13 13:41:26

X-posted. Glad you made it up still don't get what he'd done wrong but whatever

OHforDUCKScake Sat 16-Feb-13 13:42:15

"i never said he'd been bad"

Erm, the title says "Is DP being an arse?" hmm

Arcadia Sat 16-Feb-13 13:48:08

that is why I asked am in being unreasonable to think that, because I wasn't sure. As a result of helpful posts I concluded we had both been grumpy and have apologised for my part and have now made up.

We do not have separate weekends, just generally have a morning 'off' each at the weekends. Yes in an ideal world it wouldn't be time on/off but because we should all be together but DP really needs his own space and I get a couple of hours in the morning to get stuff done too.

It generally works for us but he is generally grumpy when he has to do 'child are' at the weekends, that is more my issue. I take her away for weekends so he has his own space at times,and have offered him to go away for a week on his own over the winter when he gets down to somewhere sunny, but he didn't want to. I also encourage him to go away with friends at weekends but again he doesn't really want to or isn't motivated to.

Arcadia Sat 16-Feb-13 13:49:21

Sorry childcare damned iPad"

mynewpassion Sat 16-Feb-13 16:02:27

I also agree with the latter posters as I didn't see anything wrong done by either the OP or her DP. It was just circumstances and both got a bit stroppy along with DD.

DD got stroppy and wetted herself. OP made an unnecessary comment about why not taking her out. DP got defensive.

Mountain, molehill.

Glad you made up because it was over nothing.

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