Helicopter parenting in workplace

(36 Posts)
Chyelabinsk Sat 16-Feb-13 09:03:08

Following on from the thread about parents expecting school rules to be bent for the DCs, I currently have a situation & wondered how you would all handle it?

My workplace has a work experience student, however his mother is very interfering. She rings up to discuss things, rather than letting the student organise themselves. This hasn't left a very good impression & I am considering giving the student some feedback on life after school. I am concerned the young man's mother will continue to interfere at University & full time work.

Would you say anything to the student & if so, how would you go about it?

Sugarice Sat 16-Feb-13 12:52:53

Wow, she is one interfering Mum isn't she?

When my two ds's did their work experience they would have been mortified if I'd attempted to interfere.

thebody Sat 16-Feb-13 12:55:27

Uni or work won't discuss anything with the mother if he is 18 as its illegal.

Chat to the kid and if I were you I would refuse to take any calls from mommy unless its an emergency.

I imagine the school are allready fully aware if her tendencies.!!

Rowanhart Sat 16-Feb-13 13:06:02

I worked Saturdays from 13 and started work experience with the company who would go on to give me my first 'proper' job at 16.

The idea my mother would have called either of these employers is ridiculous and would probably have ruined my chances of getting a proper job with the latter.

I would put it on feedback form but have a quiet word with him before he leaves.

specialsubject Sat 16-Feb-13 13:14:44

lots of life lessons here. Happens a lot in the outdoor sports/watersports industry too, where most of the staff are only just 18 - the companies sometimes put up notes saying 'if your application is sent by your mum, forget it!'

so let him know as he needs to get this stopped.

happilyconfused Sat 16-Feb-13 13:16:04

They will never cope in the future. What happens when they get turned down for promotion? Will these helicopter parents then assume total responsibility for grandchildren as their own dc will be too incompetent to cope.

WilsonFrickett Sat 16-Feb-13 13:17:14

'if your application is sent by your mum, forget it!' shock
It would never cross my mind to do this, I am obviously slack!

happilyconfused Sat 16-Feb-13 13:24:02

Maybe fill in those online questionnaires. They could attend the annual performance review. Go to the disciplinary meetings. Complain about the uniform rules. Complain about parking. Take them 'out of work' so they can attend an important family event/holiday

MiaowTheCat Sat 16-Feb-13 13:45:43

If they're a relatively "sorted" child (sounds like they are) - they probably know their mother's tendencies and are cringing at them... my mum has such tendencies and it's gradually meant I withhold more and more of my life from her to make sure she has to keep her nose out.

atthewelles Sat 16-Feb-13 13:54:46

A friend of mine used to have a job co-ordinating Government funded work experience schemes. She was amazed at the number of mothers ringing up on behalf of grown up sons to try and get them placements. Some of these men were well into their 20s. I think it would be kind to have a word with this teenager or he may well end up like that.

bumperella Sat 16-Feb-13 22:33:07

I would be having a word. If she calls again, I'd explain to her that you have made arrangements directly with her DS as it's him who is being given the work experience. Point out that part of the work experience is to cut the apron strings and be treated as an independent adult.
Then explain to the son what you've done and why. Her son, at 16, can't really be expected to control his mother.

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 16-Feb-13 22:48:48

I am in an industry which is very popular for work experience and very competitive for entry to courses. I have a very clear rule all of the leg work must be done by the student we will not speak to parents on the phone. Failure of the student themselves to do the contact results in withdrawal of placement. If the kids can't make the contact themselves they don't have enough commitment to make it into the industry.

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