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to not understand why so many people are bitter?

(84 Posts)

Warning: This is a thread about many threads, and includes references to FB and blogs

I truly don't understand if it is a cultural thing or not. I'm not from the UK, and I really don't see the same reactions over here.
I have noticed many threads on MN slating facebook posts. It seems that if you post about mundane things, people are sneery about it being dull, but if you post about fun things then you are being a show off trying to look more popular than you are.
If you mention anyone else in your post, you will make people feel excluded, but if you don't, then your posts are all 'me, me, me' ?
There seems to be an issue with people planning things on fb, and that it should all be done out of sight, by email.
Personally, I don't know many people who use emails like that, maybe it is more common in the UK?
If people feel so emotionally charged about it, why have facebook at all?

Also there seems to be a real hate on for bloggers. No one is making you read them, and as far as I know, you actually have to go looking for them in the first place. I really don't get it?
It comes across as though anyone who enjoys themselves is deluded, doing it on purpose to make you feel bad, or staging it in some way.

Perhaps I am getting a skewed view, because the people who are fine with it don't pop up on these threads.

Saski Wed 13-Feb-13 17:55:11

There seems to be a lot of backhanded self-congratulating on FB. A friend of mine (who I subsequently de-friended) posted pictures of her renovation of her dressing room under the pretext of her having OCD and being insane. I find that irritating. This is my biggest problem with FB. I would prefer a straightforward brag post.

havingamadmoment Wed 13-Feb-13 17:56:00

I have a blog about crochet which in real life according to people who know makes me boring, and old fashioned. I agree about blogs people say they make them feel bad but I never get why - if your life seems shit in comparison you prob need to wonder why!

Mollydoggerson Wed 13-Feb-13 17:58:08

I think culturally blatent attention seeking is frowned upon. Facebook is a stage so should be approached carefully.

mam29 Wed 13-Feb-13 18:09:10

If you refering to my comments on lifestyle blog post then maybe its just me and my annoying fb freinds.

Of course fb frend are wide

people met online
dont know very well
true freinds
family.
old school freinds who secretly freinded to see whos life turned out worse or better.

As for the blogs I get spammed with them.

On their wall-do you mind taking a look and sharing.

do you think its ok to which everyone tells said freind its fab.

vain freinds who posts o many pics of themselves.

freinds that name drop brands, costs and photograph all their shopping after next sale or oops I just brought the entire boden preveiw and tagged you so you wont miss it.

Or the pics of their dinners even look what a fab cook I am,
The competative slimming

the decorating posts.

The babys fave meal is lemon sole new potatoes and green beans I mean please.

Yes im out in post restaurant so i will photograph the menu.

The sad face or random sentence -so everyone of course asks whats wrong.

Oh save my pet hate for last couples who speak to each other through fb.

I also find not pming, emailing or phoning/texting crap why arrange meetups on a wall.

bombarded with excessive amounts baby pics-lil princess .

Maybe im bitter but some give me good reason.
But life be boring without it.

Saski Wed 13-Feb-13 18:12:15

Oh, come on! Life is not boring without facebook.

whois Wed 13-Feb-13 18:20:10

Ha ha I just unfiend anyone who I find annoying. Life's to short. My genuine friends don't annoy me on FB. The :-( posts or "some people need to know they can't treat certain people like that and get away with it" posters get deleted ASAP. Clear sign of being a nightmare

I am normally happy for people when they post exciting things: holiday updates, photos of food, menus, new sofa, photo from a winter walk, whatever.

But then I like my life so only feel envious in an 'oh wow I'd love to experience that' rather than an 'I hate that other people have a better life than me' way.

I post photos of my tea if its something I'm enjoying. But that could be something like a banana and a spoon of Nutella for pudding so isn't always showing off my cooking skills!

Two friends are away on holiday together this week doing all kind of exciting things. Looks ace and I can't wait to hear about the trip in detail when they get back. Why shouldn't they feel able to share what they are doing?

wigglesrock Germany Wed 13-Feb-13 18:25:17

It's just a point of view, I think you're taking it all a bit seriously to be honest. Blogs aren't my cup of tea, I get writing things down, I don't see why you need to share but that's ok that's just my opinion. I'm sure I do loads of things that other people wouldn't for example my daughter has had her ears pierced from the age of 6 - lots of MNers have real venom for this - thats ok. I just couldn't give 2 shiney shites.

I have recently joined Facebook - I don't get it, I mean I like having a nosy at photos grin but don't divulge a great deal and I would still text more than FB.

WorraLiberty England Wed 13-Feb-13 18:32:10

Where are you from OP?

I am Canadian.

Just for clarity, I have never been to the UK, although I have friends and family there smile

TomArchersSausage Wed 13-Feb-13 18:45:40

I don't use FB or read blogs. Neither interests me one iota. It irritates me that it's assumed I am on it though. I was trying to find out details of where to meet up etc for dd's rehearsal for her dance club. Turns out I was supposed to be reading it all on FB.

shock faces all round that I don't use it. Why?hmm

lljkk Netherlands Wed 13-Feb-13 19:05:31

yanbu, I just so get where you are coming from.
I don't know if it's cultural, though I suspect it is.
At least, it's only since I came to live in Britain that I've discovered how much some people like to nurture resentment.
I heard British people talk about the "Culture of Envy" for years before I even half understood what that was supposed to be about (more resentment).
Then there's the famous British class divide (more resentment).

Wednesday afternoons on Radio 5: "The Moan In". I think, only in Britain could someone make a regular national radio feature out of petty resentments. With celebrity judges, guests and endorsements, no less!!

Then recently I realised on MN how many folk just love a Hate Figure (often tied in with more resentment).

It's all very very weird to me.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 13-Feb-13 19:05:35

I'm UK born and bred and I don't understand FB angst either.

I like FB, most of my friends on there just write things that are funny, slightly dull, or nice updates about themselves and their families. It's a means of sharing photos and passing five minutes a day while waiting for something else. That's all.

I'm not a fan of blogs, I find them very self indulgent and usually very tedious, but I don't have any problem avoiding them. Like you say, you don't have to look for them, so I don't!

One of my friends posted a pic of her dinner yesterday, toad in the hole or something. Well it didn't look like toad in the hole, in fact the whole dinner looked like something my dog had regurgitated and then crapped in.

What got me she had about twelve comments and likes all saying 'wow that looks nice, well done you, yum yum where's mine all followed with a million xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hmm

badguider Wed 13-Feb-13 19:27:38

The moaning on here is not representative. Just like posts on here are often about "friends" who it appears the op doesn't like at all and if you believed mn you'd think everybody always despises weddings.

I love fb. I love my friends and want to stay in touch with their lives and I love arranging things with them and yes, even attending weddings!

Bunfags Wed 13-Feb-13 19:34:58

Fbook seems to cause a lot of bad feeling. I used to get all vexed about it, because everyone seemed to be doing all these fabulous things. Then I realised that I never post about how mundane things are, how I'm going to be skint for the rest of the month or how I'm having an "I'm fat and I hate myself" day. Other people don't either. hmm

I don't have a problem with what other people post, but I do sometimes have a chuckle to myself. I don't like Fbook much, but that's mainly because I don't like the way people don't value their privacy as much anymore. Fbook encourages that culture. Down with that sort of thing!

So perhaps it is a mix of culture and class stuff. People being perceived as being too forward or up on themselves?
This certainly wasn't a thread aimed at any one thread. It just seems that there are a lot of threads that bring up FB or blogs, and right away there is a pile in of people who seem very bitter or resentful.

muffinino82 Wed 13-Feb-13 21:16:21

I had a cracker on my feed today. A picture of a bottle of Cava with two full glasses next to it. The comment underneath reads 'A celebration is in order after today's news'. Queue people commenting things such as 'Great news, what are you celebrating?' to which the poster said 'Can't tell you yet, good news in work, so excited but it's a secret'.

So why post the picture and get people excited for you, then? hmm Apart from pure attention seeking. Drives me nuts.

Adversecamber Wed 13-Feb-13 22:19:12

Well I know someone who is Canadian and he writes utter bollocks on his FB wall sometimes.

I have not logged on to FB for months and my blood pressure has improved.

I actually hate it when people make out they are having an amazing time when I know full well they are not. I hate the hypocrisy of it all. I have also seen full on arguments that are horrendous. I also hate people writing quotes that they have nicked to prove a point, the quotes are clever but they didn't write them. I know when a certain news story breaks XY and Z will shove up something by Descartes or Plato.

usualsuspect Wed 13-Feb-13 22:22:47

I can never understand why people have people on their FB they clearly don't like.

Why add people who piss you off?

I like all the people on my FB. I'm happy to share their news.

The FB moaning threads on here do my bloody head in.

usualsuspect Wed 13-Feb-13 22:23:24

And all of FB is attention seeking, thats kind of the point.

SomethingOnce Wed 13-Feb-13 22:34:38

I don't think bitterness is the right way to describe it.

I do think that, traditionally, British people don't like show-offs (which is where the self-deprecation thing comes from) and boasting.

To me this is intuitive, but I'm sure it's baffling to many who come from other places, just as I find the subtleties of, say, Japanese social interaction difficult to get a feel for.

I'm a bit sad that boasting and showing off seems to be ok nowadays. Which is not the same as not being happy to celebrate success and give credit where it's due.

So, I'm officially a gimmer.

SomethingOnce Wed 13-Feb-13 22:35:57

Btw, muffin, that's uber-twatty!

pictish Wed 13-Feb-13 22:38:54

Well I love fb! Plenty on it makes me roll my eyes, but never with any bitterness at all.

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