to query this nursery teacher disciplining DD2?

(43 Posts)

DD2 is 3 and attends school nursery 5 days a week for 2.5 hours every day. I'm the first one to admit she is hard to handle and doesn't always listen but I use time out with her and she is starting to understand there are consequences to her actions.

Another parent stopped me in the playground after drop off today and told me she had a stay and share session and that she didn't like the way a particular teachef dealt with DD2s behaviour. The children were picking library books to take home and were sitting in the circle time area. DD2 wasn't sitting still and was getting up to look at what books other children had. The teacher in question was apparently quite harshly telling her to sit down and was getting more and more annoyed with DD2 the more she kept doing it. She then got up, marched over to her, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down to the front.

Absolutely jamdonut, DD2 is frustrating sometimes and I find myself saying things through gritted teeth! And I can totally see her compliantly going when she has been taken by the hand so maybe that's what's happened. Even though she persists in misbehaving if the teacher took her by the hand and sat her down she would have sat there and not moved (I hope). Also, yes I would expect them to speak to her firmly. I fully support teachers disciplining if need be, was just shocked to hear that DD2 was possibly grabbed.

It seems out of character for this teacher because she's always seemed to have a soft spot for DD2, just last week she rebraided her hair for her when it was coming loose.

Feel a lot calmer now, will have a quick chat with the teacher when I pick DD2 up. Thank you everyone.

Cassarick Tue 12-Feb-13 10:44:13

When you use time out does your DD go on her own, or do you have to 'take' her?

ppeatfruit Tue 12-Feb-13 10:49:40

All DCs are different just because one child is happy in a class with a certain teacher doesn't mean the next one will be.

I've had a stay and share session before Christmas and everything seemed fine. DD2 loves nursery and is very happy to go in and always happy when I collect her.

I wouldn't say she has behaviour issues, once I have put her in time out she apologises and does as she is told. I am worried about her concentration sometimes but she is only 3 so not making an issue of it just yet. She can sit fine at the cinema, listen to and eneage with a story book, she is just very figety and her mind can wander off!

Sorry, meant to sat she hasn't mentioned anything about it.

Wrt to time out sometimes I have to take her but most times she will go when told and stay there until I take her out, depending on how stubborn she is that day.

Excuse the typing and appauling spelling, am on a tablet, must proofread before posting!

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 10:55:08

it may not have been so dramatic as you were told sometimes people see things a bit different ask the nursery what happened dont listen to second hand stories as gospel but do say what you heard, ask them

Cassarick Tue 12-Feb-13 10:56:53

So when she is 'stubborn' YOU take her to time out. That's JUST what the teacher did, isn't it, as she was obviously being stubborn and not listening?

This really is a non-event, you know.

cassarick, yes, but I didn't see it as a non event when I was told. I'm leaving to get her in a minute, really in two minds about mentioning something now, feel like a right idiot for getting so riled up!

SamSmalaidh Tue 12-Feb-13 11:09:35

There is a big difference between gently moving/guiding a child (I would always say "can you move over here yourself, or do you need me to help you?") and grabbing/pulling. Like ppeat I have also seen some poor practice in terms of physically intervening with children, so it does happen especially when adults get irritated or frustrated.

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 11:12:02

You aren't an idiot, you are concerned.

You can have a general conversation about how she is getting on, without complaining that X said Y about Z.

Posting on here is good - it helps you think straight, not go barging in.

TotallyBS Tue 12-Feb-13 11:51:42

Dragging a child kicking and screaming is a serious event. Taking a child that isn't paying attention to your verbal instructions back to their place on the carpet isn't.

You are getting a lot of supportive posts from mums with DCs that have similar behavior problems. Isn't it time to start listening to parents who don't have these problems?

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 11:57:50

posting on here is good - it helps you think straight, not go barging in.

^ ^ this I agree nothing wrong in being concerned that your child may have been dragged by the arm but putting it into some sort of perspective and having a think and a rant is good, just ask how her behaviour is in general and see how it goes,

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 11:58:53

when I worked in nurseries we sometimes placed children to where they needed to be didn't drag them though

I had a word about it and her behaviour is good but her listening isn't so good, she even stated to me that she has removed her from situations where she hasn't listened and put her in time out. I'm satisfied that's what happened that day. She doesn't feel that she has any problems, just the listening and we have agreed that giving her warnings then removing her from the situation is the plan of action at nursery and home. She is starting to improve and take more of a telling now they said.

Thank you to everyone who posted, thank god for MN, I would have got angrier about it if I didn't discuss it with some impartial people beforehand.

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 12:20:08

That sounds good smile.

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 12:23:02

It does sound positive and you and nursery are on the same page smile

ppeatfruit Tue 12-Feb-13 13:02:34

Yes IMO the fact yr. DD is happy to go there is all you need really. BUT it is very normal for 3 yr olds to not listen (they tend to be somewhere else in their minds) It's not naughty it's just developmental.

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