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to think I should give my husband a new arsehole for thinking he actually lives in 1953?

(74 Posts)
MyPreciousRing Mon 11-Feb-13 23:14:05

My husband made a comment earlier that I should actually do all the house work as that is 'women's work'... He thinks that because he cooks and subsequently washes and dries that is his work done! I pointed out that I earn twice what he does but he thinks this doesn't make any difference as house work is woman's work! So I'd like to rip him a new arsehole, am I being unreasonable?

DameFanny Sat 16-Feb-13 13:34:55

He makes a good point about his side of the bed after a week. Move yourself into the spare room.

BillyBollyDandy Sat 16-Feb-13 13:40:44

Poor DH, he probably feels completely emasculated because you earn more than he does. This is his way of showing you that he is till "man about the house" even though you appear to be his intellectual superior.

You may as well tie his balls up with fluffy pink ribbon.

wink

GetWhatYouNeed Sat 16-Feb-13 14:30:40

He's probably read about that research that came out a couple of weeks ago which says that men who do housework such as cleaning, laundry, tidying etc get less sex than those who do things like gardening, plumbing and bill paying.

TheLibrarianOok Sat 16-Feb-13 15:49:07

I would be seriously concerned about his attitude to this OP, no matter how 'good' he is in other areas. I would certainly get it sorted before considering having children with him. I think stikes don't work. Tried it and so have others I know.

Seriously, you are married to someone who thinks your need for a fair division of labiour and leisure time is a joke.

How does that make him a good husband? Or even a decent human being?

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Sat 16-Feb-13 16:51:56

Tortoise's second post should be stickied at the top of Relationships.

Squitten Sat 16-Feb-13 17:15:18

Please don't have children with this one OP.

Kids are a LOT of work and generate a LOT of mess. If he's incapable of looking after himself and expects you to do it all, what do you think will happen once kids arrive?

I couldn't live with someone who thinks housework is all I'm good for - and I'm a SAHM!

MikeOxardAndWellard Sat 16-Feb-13 18:45:06

I agree with tortoise too. Your dh sounds like a stupid, nasty git and I wouldn't let someone treat me that way or say such disrespectful things to me. Dh's are not mandatory, if you can't find a decent one, don't have one at all.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Sat 16-Feb-13 19:03:40

I would actually show him where the door was, and as I'm a "nice 1950s woman", I'd pack his bag for him too.

pinkhalf Sat 16-Feb-13 19:11:53

What a tit he sounds. A contemptible fool.

Certainly not worth a lifetime of underpants tango. Get rid of him, dear.

What Tortoiseonthehalfshell said.

MyPreciousRing, how long have you been married? Are there children of this marriage? Because if he is actually serious about this, then it would be a dealbreaker for me.

inadreamworld Sun 17-Feb-13 08:06:57

I can't believe people are saying to get rid of your husband over this when you said he is a great husband in other ways!! I am sure it is something you can sort out and not a marriage breaker. I do repeat what I said earlier though - if he wants a traditional wife tell him you are staying at home and he has to give you a weekly allowance!!

CheddarGorgeous Sun 17-Feb-13 08:13:02

Bloody hell inadreamworld I sincerely hope that was a tongue in cheek comment?!

MidnightMasquerader Sun 17-Feb-13 08:14:34

A weekly allowance...??!! shock

What the.......?

inadreamworld Sun 17-Feb-13 08:17:22

I was joking about the weekly allowance - meaning if he wants to be old fashioned then he shouldn't expect his wife to work, he has to be the breadwinner etc - I wasn't suggesting she really ask for a weekly allowance and give up work (unless she wants to!). I know everyone will have a go at me for this but if he is a good husband in other ways as the OP says then this should be something they can sort out and not a marriage breaker.

CheddarGorgeous Sun 17-Feb-13 08:25:53

There is a word to describe that idea but it's not "old fashioned" hmm

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Feb-13 08:29:49

I could not be married to a man who thought I existed to serve him.

There is no "being a good husband in all other ways".

At the most fundamental level he doesn't respect you.

That means there is no true love.

And men like this are truly repulsive too.

Why would you want to have sex with someone who saw you as his staff?

He sounds horrible.

I'd get out now before years of doing all the shitwork sapped all my energy and weakened me while he got stronger (and gradually more abusive) at my expense.

You see those women on here all the time and it's heartbreaking.

Good people do not treat people they love this way.

DameFanny Sun 17-Feb-13 10:47:54

I guess ring isn't that bothered as she hasn't been back

TheLibrarianOok Sun 17-Feb-13 13:46:29

Well lets hope she's not feather dustering the lounge in a 50s style dress, full make up and hair do, while DH sits grinning with his pipe, newspaper and slippers.

Branleuse Sun 17-Feb-13 13:49:43

YANBU to be pissed off. Is this attitude out of the blue or have you always known it but married him anyway?

YABU to use the term give/rip a new arsehole. Gross. Its like some sort of rape reference

happybubblebrain Sun 17-Feb-13 13:57:52

I have no idea how women put up with men who do nothing/very little.
I wouldn't stand for it, not even for one day.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 14:04:57

Tell him that the sight of a man with a toilet brush in hand gets you all "hot".

On a more serious note, have you got children? If so, this is a crap example to be giving to them, if not (and planning to), I warn you this will get worse as the tiredness sets in.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 17-Feb-13 14:05:33

Branleuse.

I hate that term too.

EmmaBemma Sun 17-Feb-13 16:28:01

the phrase is "tear him a new arsehole". "give him a new arsehole" sounds like it's being presented in a gift-wrapped box.

OttilieKnackered Sun 17-Feb-13 17:20:28

Hmmmm. Obviously he's wrong about the men's/women's work thing, but it sounds like it could have been a 'joke.'

However, if he does all the cooking and all the washing up, he's not really doing 10% is he? Surely? Those things need to be done every day without fail. I'm assuming you don't hoover or scrub the bathroom every day?

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