to think I should give my husband a new arsehole for thinking he actually lives in 1953?

(74 Posts)
MyPreciousRing Mon 11-Feb-13 23:14:05

My husband made a comment earlier that I should actually do all the house work as that is 'women's work'... He thinks that because he cooks and subsequently washes and dries that is his work done! I pointed out that I earn twice what he does but he thinks this doesn't make any difference as house work is woman's work! So I'd like to rip him a new arsehole, am I being unreasonable?

SirBoobAlot Mon 11-Feb-13 23:15:54

Surely you knew this before you married him?

But no, YANBU. Wanker.

Helltotheno Mon 11-Feb-13 23:16:33

YANBU. Just leave his shit there and do your own, ie all.. laundry, dishes etc. That'll larn 'im grin
Oh and.. just to add insult to injury, forget to flush after you've done a particularly odious dump.... oops smile

CSIJanner Mon 11-Feb-13 23:16:52

YANBU at all. Twat. Tell him that you can invoice him for his said idea that you do all the housework and work done, but unfortunately that would leave you with all of the household income and he would therefore effectively become your bitch.

MyPreciousRing Mon 11-Feb-13 23:24:35

Am getting him to read all replies - so ladies please up the ante on all vitriol and common sense! He doesn't seem to hear it when I say it! Maybe he will when it's an outside perspective.

ImperialBlether Mon 11-Feb-13 23:34:14

If you earn more, pay for a cleaner to sort it all out.

Otherwise, when he's cooking, do some housework. When he stops, then you stop, too.

ThisIsANickname Mon 11-Feb-13 23:53:51

What cleaning do you actually do (your OP isn't clear if you do any housework, or if you do a fair share of housework). Without knowing that, it's impossible to say if you are actually being unreasonable.

The woman's work comment seems a bit silly...

My DH once 'jokily' said something about "blue jobs and pink jobs".

He was fucking GUTTED when I left the lawnmowing for him and his hayfever to do.... Unlucky!

Strangely there hasn't been any mention of blue or pink jobs since, joking or otherwise.

Rip him a new one!

MyPreciousRing Tue 12-Feb-13 00:08:35

He cooks and does a shit job of washing up afterwards. I do all washing, drying and putting away. Dusting, hoovering. ChanGing of beds and towels. Also he seems to develop a 'blindness' when he walks in rooms. Never ever sees shoes, take-away menus, junk mail, cans, bottles, glasses etc to put away.

BOF Tue 12-Feb-13 00:09:04

I don't think the cleaner suggestion really deals with the issue at root though, which is that he needs to pull his weight. There's no point subcontracting it to another woman (usually) when he needs to realise that he doesn't get a free pass on the day-to-day grind of cleaning up after yourselves just because his bits are danglier than yours.

thebody Tue 12-Feb-13 00:13:44

Why does it matter that you earn twice as much as him??? Who cares.

But he's a knob to say what is women's work!

You need to both employ a cleaner.

And maybe mature!!

ComposHat Tue 12-Feb-13 00:16:02

Of the op's husband thinks it is 1953, tell him they still had rationing in 1953 and certain activities will be subject to very severe rationing.

Tell him there's nothing sexier than a man pushing a hoover around. In fact, employ one of those hot guy cleaners that just wear a little apron and not much else grin

Lots of women in 1953 were on medication to deal with the shitness of their lives. Lucky for you we have easily available divorce now instead. Make the most of it.

WorraLiberty Tue 12-Feb-13 00:30:01

You've both come out with some pretty shit comments really.

Him 'It's women's work'

You 'I earn twice as much as you'

I think you two need to sit down and have a calm, adult discussion about this.

garlicblocks Tue 12-Feb-13 00:30:02

Why the bloody hell haven't you got a dishwasher? Machine, that is, not inefficient bloke.

Yanbu, obv. I like all the suggestions above. In particular, tools down for one means tools down for all. Except he's evidently doing a rubbish job of clearing up anyway, so you may as well finish your contribution as soon as he's served dinner.

Mr Ring, you are perilously close to total redundancy. You'd better be amazing in the sack, because there appears to be little practical value in your household contribution.

A couple is a TEAM, remember??!

Tallwiv, excellent idea grin

Anna1976 Tue 12-Feb-13 03:42:31

MrRing 1970s emancipation happened 40 years ago. Man up and deal with it. Also, women think men who do housework properly, without whining, are extremely sexy.

Mypreciousring Get a dishwasher - leaves a good hour in the evenings for making appropriate use of said sexy husband. Or at least just gets the washing up done properly for a change while you both sort out the laundry and clean up other stuff

sashh Tue 12-Feb-13 04:42:19

Leave the bastard.

Can't believe I'm the first to say it.

OP's husband

Seriously? How do you define 'women's work' - the jobs you don't like doing? The jobs that are beneath you?

Do you also want your wife's income to suddenly drop because she is a woman?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of discrimination?

I thought not. That's why you don't recognise it when you are handing it out.

Would you ever describe a job as 'black work' - no you wouldn't because we are not living in apartheid South Africa and because that would be racist.

Do you think that's being extreme? Well you are expecting your wife to behave like a SA maid in 1975, with the one exception, she is not being paid for the work.

Stop behaving like an entitled twat.

MidnightMasquerader Tue 12-Feb-13 04:51:44

So, he's clearly just taking the piss a bit, right....?

Someone you're married to doesn't just suddenly come out with a comment like that out of the blue, and actually mean it...

Women that are married to men who do think like this don't come on and start jokey threads. They tend to be exhausted, depressed, feel powerless, beaten down, like they have no options, at the end of their tethers and very, very, deeply unhappy - and that unhappiness literally comes out at you from their posts.

This thread, on the other hand, is just odd...!

50ShadesOfGreggs Tue 12-Feb-13 06:55:26

Only one thing for it: LTB! grin

Seriously though, I am fighting a similar battle at home, only DH is sneakier and doesn't actually say there are women jobs. I know he thinks it though! angry

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Tue 12-Feb-13 06:59:06

Do you have equal amounts of leisure time after work, chores, childcare etc?

If not, why does the one who has more think they are worth more than the one who has less?

HecateWhoopass Tue 12-Feb-13 07:03:08

If he doesn't give a shit what you, his wife, the woman he is supposed to love, thinks and feels - what on earth would make you think he would give a shit what women he doesn't even know thinks?

If he can dismiss you on the grounds that you're a woman - we're just going to be totally irrelevant and our opinion of him meaningless to him. he'll dismiss us with a pah and a sneer and a roll of the eyes and a ^"women", well. they WOULD say that, wouldn't they?"

So I won't waste my time trying to explain exactly why his attitude stinks. He thinks you're his skivvy. His maid. Subservient to him. What are you going to do about that?

ErikNorseman Tue 12-Feb-13 07:13:52

Women's work = shitwork. He thinks he's better than you. Can you live with a man who thinks he's better than you because he has a penis?

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Tue 12-Feb-13 07:16:00

^^What Hecate said.

Iaintdunnuffink Tue 12-Feb-13 07:34:37

How much you earn has nothing to do with it, I'd go ballistic at my husband if he pointed out he earns more than 3 times than me, in regards to housework. That's not a nice thing to say.

We both work and both pitch in until the children are cared for, we are all adequately fed and the house is a pleasant and clean enough place to live. The problem with one person deciding that they've done their bit is that it leaves everything else to the other person. All those irritating little things that don't make it onto a list.

My husband and me have fallen into certain routines, he irons in the morning, mi do the packed lunches, we both do the kitchen. All things that can be nicely ticked off. Someone also needs to notice that new socks are required, or all the school trousers have holes in the knees.

So with regards to women's work and sharing all the shirt work Yanbu.

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