to not know what unconditional parenting is?!

(853 Posts)
GirlOutNumbered Mon 11-Feb-13 20:54:19

Just read it on a thread. I have no idea what this is?

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 12:59:39

I think there were always behavioural difficulties, but they were dealt with either by beating the child into submission, or forcing him/her to leave school.

I do think entitled children are becoming a problem. As is parents backing their children and not making them take responsibility for their behaviour.

ds2 was apoplectic with rage because a number of them were given lunchtime detention for persistently being late (which imo is fair enough - 14 year olds should get to school on time). One boy didn't go, backed up by his parents. They said it wasn't his fault he was late, they were driving him and got stuck in traffic.

Yeah, because they left the house too late, as they do every day hmm. But he got away with it angry

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 13:01:49

Sorry, when I said behavioural difficulties I meant diagnosable conditions were always there, but undiagnosed iyswim.

I do agree that there is an increase in general bad behaviour among children.

GirlOutNumbered Tue 12-Feb-13 13:02:28

We have parents phone in to get their children out of detentions all the time. These kids believe that the world revolves around them and their parents reinforce that completely.

LaQueen Tue 12-Feb-13 13:03:52

Have a patient, who clearly practices UP with their 4/5 year old child.

Has cancelled 3 appointments for herself, so fa,r because 'My child doesn't really want to come and sit in the waiting room, and it's not fair to make them.'

And, when the child has arrived with its Mum, they have run wild. Refused to have the surgery door closed, threw books, thumped on the reception desk. Demanding to go into secured rooms, simply because the door was locked - and the mother asking if I could 'Just let them see what's inside, and explore a little bit.'

Er - yeah, like I'm going to leave reception, to go and fetch keys, and let your child explore a room which has bags of clinical waste in it hmm And, the mother couldn't seem to understand why I wouldn't go along with her request hmm

Feckin self obsessed, self entitled, oblivious to the world around them, and raising a child that makes other adults grind their teeth with irritation.

Well done hmm

Pandemoniaa Tue 12-Feb-13 13:05:14

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LaQueen Tue 12-Feb-13 13:05:27

[nods thankfully at mrs ...but, then does a quick duck and dive and makes a desperate break for the UP thread...]

So what happens when a UP child goes to school and get disciplined? Do they have major meltdowns as someone has said `no` or not allowed them to do something?

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 13:08:52

To be fair, LaQ, that isn't really UP, that is fuckwittery.

JenaiMorris Tue 12-Feb-13 13:08:58

I've told ds to tell Miss we got stuck in traffic, to make me look less crap (it doesn't work, and it's a crap excuse unless something remarkable happens such as the one road being closed for half an hour). We've only been 5 minutes late so far.

I certainly wouldn't expect him to be let off detention though.

I can't believe UP is so widespread that it's having a huge impact tbh and I live in exactly the kind of area where parents love that kind of toss.

Domjolly Tue 12-Feb-13 13:09:05

Is tosh that what it is i think there are many parenys already letting there children do what the hell they like and has been ever thus for decades its called

Not setting boundries and being a bad parent

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 13:09:08

<trips up laqueen>

I have just read a bit of that guys website and oh well nowt as queer as folk i suppose confused

DreamingOfTheMaldives Tue 12-Feb-13 13:11:33

Am I the only one who cannot find THAT thread?! Come on someone, give me a little clue............ you know you want to.

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 13:11:37

TBh I think following any sort of parenting style to the letter is weird and culty

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 13:12:02

Jenai, this child is late every day, pretty much.

And <bitter rant alert> his mother (when she is collecting) doesn't park in a space in the carpark like everyone else. Oh, no, she is too important for that. She double parks across the cars closest to the door and waits for him. And refuses to move when other cars are trying to get out because "ds will be out in a minute" hmm.

She parked across the head's car once. Oh how we all smirked.

pictish Tue 12-Feb-13 13:12:19

NOOOOO!!! LeQueen - I have been, I have seen. Stay away. I'm warning you!
I had a look and left the thread, quietly closing the door behind me.
It's not werf it lahv!

Domjolly Tue 12-Feb-13 13:13:02

Yes there are a few kids at my sons school who get to decide when they want to attend school what lessons they will part take in

And weather they will simply just walk out of school

Hhha hahaha i never heard such twaddle alot of americans like this up shite says it all really

Hullygully Tue 12-Feb-13 13:14:28

I haven't read the book, but I agree with the blurb.

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 13:16:32

the teenagers I was talking about earlier are member of my family and it is really difficult to engage with them sometimes because they are so rude and up their own behinds with their own self importance. their mum is lovely just a bit feeble. she doesn't practise UP just lets them do as they please because 'their opinions matter and they are equal' hmm

tempnameswap Tue 12-Feb-13 13:16:48

It is an extension of a long-standing psychological concept http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_positive_regard so not just new-fangled parenting nonsense!

I think it is a good thing, fwiw, but hard to re-condition ourselves in the heat of the moment!

Domjolly Tue 12-Feb-13 13:19:06

I think these children will get a shock when they start high school or try and join the working world just not going into work because you dont feel like it not really goning to cut it

But like mosy have said its the new age tyoes who home school and give rice cakes as treats who do this sort of thing so can avoid boundries that is until its time for little prince or princess to get a job

GirlOutNumbered Tue 12-Feb-13 13:22:06

It does just stink of not wanting to get into any type of confrontation doesnt it?

If I dont give boundaries, then I don't really have to discipline.

LetMeAtTheWine Tue 12-Feb-13 13:25:59

Am I the only one who cannot find THAT thread?! Come on someone, give me a little clue............ you know you want to.

Nope - I can't find it either confused

BeCool Tue 12-Feb-13 13:26:21

EC = elimination communication
i.e. what we did with babies before nappies were invented.
What many many cultures still do.

mrsjay Tue 12-Feb-13 13:28:32

i.e. what we did with babies before nappies were invented.
What many many cultures still do.

I guess they just pooped on the floor

GirlOutNumbered Tue 12-Feb-13 13:29:09

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