AIBU to use the disabled toilet at the restaurant today??

(80 Posts)
clumsyoaflike Mon 11-Feb-13 20:10:34

Okies, am 41+3 with severe SPD (also crippled in pain after major back surgery 18 months ago) + I have two broken bones in my left foot after falling down the stairs Friday just gone so am pretty immobile atm. I had a sweep this morning and on the MWs suggestion decided to try and have a walk (shuffle) round the shops. I really couldn't cope so DP took me to the Toby for some lunch before returning to the sofa. The male/female toilets are up a windy flight of stairs so I asked the waitress if I was allowed to use the disabled one (downstairs) and she said that this was ok. I was only in there for literally 5 mins and when I left a lady started shouting at me that I am a young fit woman (I had only opened the door so she didn't see me shuffling). I was in bits, left my dinner, paid and went home.

I only use my stairs at home when I really have to and have been pretty much bed bound.

So should I have struggled with the stairs as I am NOT registered disabled and am a 30 year old woman??!!

manicinsomniac Mon 11-Feb-13 20:11:46

of course you weren't being unreasonable! You are currently disabled and the woman was a nosy bitch.

Mawgatron Mon 11-Feb-13 20:12:02

No, yanbu. You should have told the woman to piss off!

IAmLouisWalsh Mon 11-Feb-13 20:13:33

Silly old bag. YWNBU

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Mon 11-Feb-13 20:13:44

Of course YANBU. You should have told her to bog off.

FanFuckingTastic Mon 11-Feb-13 20:15:40

You are disabled right now, pay no attention. I have had to harden up to the angry people assuming that because I am young I can't be disabled, you mustn't let them get to you.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 11-Feb-13 20:15:43

Thing is you could have been a disabled bage holder and she was beng a cock for not knowing that lots of disabilities are not visible or obvious.

If you can't get to the loo due to its placement then you use one you can get to.
And you asked so yanbu.

Fairylea Mon 11-Feb-13 20:16:15

You are currently disabled. Of course you shouldn't have struggled with the stairs. Yanbu.

I'd have told her to bugger off too. You were not able to use the stairs, but despite this, not all disabilities are visible. I'd have gone into one... angry

deleted203 Mon 11-Feb-13 20:19:46

Of course YWNBU! I would have loudly stated my problems and asked her what the fuck it was to do with her! I'd have gone on to say that her attitude towards the disabled was disgraceful and how dare she speak to anyone like that. (I am a stroppy cow).

Altinkum Mon 11-Feb-13 20:22:19

I used to work at the toby, toby policy is that the disabled facilities are not only for those with a disability. Toby doesn't class their toilets as disabled toilets, they class them as easy accessible.

Clearly I'd someone disabled needed them, then they would take priority.

YANBU.

WilsonFrickett Mon 11-Feb-13 20:25:56

She was a rude witch. Please don't even give her another thought and send DH out for chips

LittleChimneyDroppings Mon 11-Feb-13 20:27:41

You should have told her to fuck off and mind her own business.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 11-Feb-13 20:30:18

YANBU. Sorry your lunch was ruined by this nasty woman.

clumsyoaflike Mon 11-Feb-13 20:30:19

Thanks guys - I was mortified as am normally a fit healthy girl (bar back surgery)and walking up the stairs = burning off calories to me :-) I am already an mess being so overdue & in so much pain & then to break my foot :-( The woman was in a wheelchair although wheelchair was at her table (so she was as mobile as me). I would never abuse disabled facilities but could see her point of view as I had seen several able bodied people using this toilet BUT this had nothing to do with me. All I wanted was a wee :-(

ILoveFrogs Mon 11-Feb-13 20:30:47

YANBU

I get this all the time, I have Crohn's and it's flaring quite badly atm so I always use the disabled toilet when available, when I need to go I urgently need to go and I'm in extreme pain, plus it's very embarrassing having to go in a quiet public toilet when there is other people in there…. the sounds aren't too pleasant shock Last week in Morrison's a woman made a snide remark to me, I just try to be as nice as I can, tell them I have crohn's and believe me it's pretty bloody debilitating!

cocoachannel Mon 11-Feb-13 20:35:17

How could she possibly judge whether you were disabled anyway, but I imagine your baby bump demonstrates you are not at your most mobile. Definitely not unreasonable. Good luck with the baby!

My sister, who is registered disable due to cerebral palsy, regularly gets shouted at for parking in disabled spaces, using disabled loos etc. because she is young and doesn't use any support to walk. The fact it is still difficult and painful most days is kit something people can see so they assume she is not entitled to her badge. She pretends to laugh it off hit effectively being called a fraud so often does get her down.

clumsyoaflike Mon 11-Feb-13 20:35:25

Exactly Ilovefrogs - just because these people were able bodied doesn't mean that there was nothing wrong with them & anyways, was none of my business.

ijustwant8hours Mon 11-Feb-13 20:36:01

I have UC so same as Ilovefrogs really! Have never had a snide remark though...

KateSpade Mon 11-Feb-13 20:37:03

Not at all, I used to get told to use the disabled all the time when I was queuing to use the ladies with my pram. I think I only did once when I was really desperate, but on the advice of the attendants!

Some people are horrible! Sorry it upset you op!

SirBoobAlot Mon 11-Feb-13 20:43:20

Of course not. It is an accessible toilet, and you couldn't get up the stairs.

You poor thing, I hope you feel better soon.

SecretNutellaFix Mon 11-Feb-13 20:48:32

Why did you leave your dinner, you dafty?

You had every right to use the Accessible toilet facilities, and had permission from staff as well. Have some hot chocolate and relax as much as you can this evening.

I hope your sweep has worked and you get to meet you new baby soon.

ethelb Mon 11-Feb-13 20:51:24

@ilovefrogs people with Crohns should be able to get a radar key to let them into locked disabled loos. Honestly, disabled loos are for people like you, I wouldn never feel the need to justify myself in your position.

buggerama Mon 11-Feb-13 21:01:24

I am a blue badge holder and universal user of disabled bogs. I have been abused too (both by toilets and in car parks). I give as good as I get now after years of being upset by them. Its my absolute pet hate. And 99% of the time its women in their 70s as well who question me. (that is a fact before anyone says I am being sexist and oldist)

Please dont be upset by some rude stranger, just be glad you dont know them. Let them be the one who is at home now complaining to their OH about seeing an able bodied young person using a disabled toilet today. Try to let it go, dont let this person upset you any further. Of course you were entitled to use the toilet - without question.

I bet your SPD goes as soon as you have the baby, mine did for all 3 pregnancies

WilsonFrickett Mon 11-Feb-13 21:14:38

I felt really crampy and uncomfortable after the sweep too, so that probably won't be making you feel any better. ((hugs))

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