to not let myself get upset

(7 Posts)
TraineeBabyCatcher Sun 10-Feb-13 23:13:13

Dp left me on Friday. Just short of 3 years together and I get 'im not happy anymore, we have grown apart'. Yet 3/4 weeks ago we were talking about moving in together and saving for a wedding/buying a house.

I cried and I cried. Yesterday I spent the day in a pit of sorrow. Today I have got up and tried to pretend I'm okay and have been happy most of the day (working, so fairly distracted) and.not cried once.

I'm terrible sad, and definitely not okay but I've decided crying isn't going to help me and it will just confuse ds (not ex dps son but he still wants contact). But I'm worried that I'm just creating a ticking time bomb.

WorraLiberty Sun 10-Feb-13 23:19:29

So sorry to hear this sad

But I don't think you should be worried about ticking time bombs or anything else like that at this early stage.

Emotions are a natural part of life...something we all feel and if you want to cry then have a good cry.

If you get to the stage where you're fed up of crying or don't need to at that given moment...that's also fine.

But don't worry about how you feel/react from one moment to the next because I'm sure it'll be unpredictable.

If you can avoid crying in front of your DS that's great...but don't beat yourself up if you happen to either.

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:19:47

In so sorry to hear you have been through this. Be kind on yourself. Crying when alone, or wth friends whichever you prefer, can be a good release and is to be expected.
How is your DS? How old is he? I believe it is OK for children to see adults cry. I know some people think they should be 'protected' from emotions like that, but i think it's healthy for children to know its ok to be upset at sad situations. As long as he isn't to little to understand why your upset of course.
Cry if your upset, do what you need to do. It's early days. I still had mornings I'd cry when my ex had left me, after a year had passed! (We had been together a long time and love of my life!).
See friends, enjoy time with your son, you will get through these dark days thanks and wine

TraineeBabyCatcher Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:02

He's 5. Dp has been in his life long enough that he is as good as his dad. We haven't told him yet because exdp isn't 100% sure what he wants right now.
I told him I couldn't wait for what if, he's coming round on Friday so we can 'talk'.

Thank you smile
When dp told me on Friday night, I scooped ds out of bed, went to my mums and sobbed my heart out. I'm staying there now as I can't bare to be alone.

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:31:08

Aww he really is quite little then, maybe try and avoid the tears around him. Glad you have your mums to go to.
Don't let XP mess you around when you talk, what he has said cannot be easily forgotten about, however desperately you want him back try not to let him see this when you meet to talk. bitter experience. Good luck.

TraineeBabyCatcher Sun 10-Feb-13 23:36:08

My fear is that because I do want him back I am deluded of the work we have if we try again, but I fear also that if I push him away and it was just cold feet and a bit of grass is greener (ive thought the grass was greener very early in the relationship, so I can kinda understand that) then I'm wasting what was a wonderful relationship and 3 good years.
I'm so terribly cross with him for not even trying to give us a chance to change something but wanting to have a 'break' and decided what he wants.

And I'm lonely because whilst my mums hugs are wonderful, they're nothing like exdps. And I've lost not just my partner but my best friend.

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:57:29

sad
I feel your pain and sadness. I hope it works out for the best, and it will one way or another in time.
If you do part, one day you will heal, it just doesn't seem like it at the moment, and if it is meant to be, then you will work it out.
Best of luck.

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