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to laugh at parents who try to reason with a toddler having a tantrum?

(214 Posts)
stradbally Sun 10-Feb-13 15:15:00

Mummy: "It's time to leave the park now DS/DD, I did say 20 minutes and you've had 25, and we have to go to Tesco on the way home to buy yummy food for dinner, so please get in the buggy, you can see Millie/Billy tomorrow, say bye bye now etc etc ......."

DS/DD: "Waaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaa waaaaaaaa while rolling on the ground or doing that running on the spot thing

Mummy, in weird uber-controlled voice: I understand you're tired and playing in the park is lots of fun but we do want lovely dinner don't we, so please get in the buggy etc etc on and on..........

DS/DD: Waaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaaaa

I see it all the time, it's hilarious. I'm all for talking properly to children and explaining things etc, but seriously when they're in that state it won't go in! Just pick them up, quick cuddle, plonk them in the buggy and go!

Goldenbear Sun 10-Feb-13 15:35:43

I don't know, maybe my toddler's particularly bright but I've taught her to say goodbye to things, situations and she generally does without hassle. She is a very bold 22 month old and not really keen on her buggy. I left a toddler group the other day and she wanted me to carry her and not walk or go in the buggy, I did this for a bit but it was difficult to push the buggy and carry her after a while so when I tried to put her in the buggy she had a bit of a wobble. I then explained to her it would make Mummy happy if she sat in the buggy and she did it then with no fuss. A passer by would've thought I was reasoning with her but ultimately it worked.

I have taught DD about what makes me happy and sad and encouraged her to say goodbye to situations and things (toys in shops) from a young age as my DS who is 5 was a nightmare at leaving exciting stuff (understandably) and friends' homes. I never used to speak to him about what made me happy/ sad as I didn't think he'd get it but I think we can underestimate their ability to understand and often go in all heavy handed when it isn't helping or appropriate.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 10-Feb-13 15:37:33

Really Wanna? OP states that she laughs at people trying to cope with a tantruming child. That to me is both sneery and judges.

stradbally Sun 10-Feb-13 15:38:37

Thank you wannabe, you're right am not sneering, just a small thing I find amusing that's all! Don't get why people so oversensitive today, I get laughed at all the time for how I do stuff!

Tantrums thrive with attention
Therefore all talking in world waste of time
I mainly do it for other parents' benefit
Agree with OP

thebody Sun 10-Feb-13 15:39:32

I think it's important to try to work with your child so if you are leaving the park/ sift play etc then warn them this is going to happen and then go.

Tantrums best ignored but the child had to do what you ask.

So for me it sometimes defiantly involved strapping in screaming toddlers into the buggy. They did as they were told.

I agree a bit with you op,as constantly reasoning parents who have to explain every decision to their children can sound annoying.

Clytaemnestra Sun 10-Feb-13 15:39:50

Also, if we're talking about children over 3, how on earth are you managing to pick them up if they don't want to be? Are you all like Jeff Capes, or have teeny tiny children? Although I'm more petite than average DD is normal sized 3 year old, and I simply could not pick her up and force her into a buggy (not that she's been in a buggy for about a year now) if she was properly resisting. Am I abnormally small and weak?

SilveryMoon Sun 10-Feb-13 15:40:29

YABU.
Your OP comes across as very smug and twatish really.
Apologies if I have misread, but it sounds really horrible.
How lovely of you to be sitting in the park laughing to yourself about the struggle of others.

Sirzy Sun 10-Feb-13 15:41:43

You find other parents trying to deal with a tantrum amusing. How lovely!

How old are your children OP?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 10-Feb-13 15:42:53

I reakon op doesn't have children.

Goldenbear

Personally I find your method of teaching your child what makes you happy and sad quite damaging.

Our children are not responsible for our moods. We are. They should be taught that there are reasons for doing things and doing as they are told. Not that their behaviour is linked to happiness.

Goldenbear Sun 10-Feb-13 15:44:25

Darrels, my toddlers tantrums don't thrive on attention and if my 5 year old is very upset, ignoring him makes it a lot worse.

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 15:45:39

You should write a parenting book op. Just so I can not buy it.

grin piprabbit

PhilMcAverty Sun 10-Feb-13 15:46:22

Oh come on! Reasoning with a child having a tantrum is like trying to spread butter with a fork. Yes of course try reasoning first, but after that, just pick em up and go.

ChestyLeRoux Sun 10-Feb-13 15:47:54

When dd1 was little there were plenty of times I couldnt move her far so would just let her go off on one until she calmed down. Often can be impossible to get them in buggy.

LittleChimneyDroppings Sun 10-Feb-13 15:49:13

I see it all the time, it's hilarious.

there are funnier things in the world op, I must say. That ones not really doing it for me though.
Fwiw I feel sorry for the parents when I see them struggling, along with a sense of relief that for once its not my turn to be dealing with the toddler tantrums.

stradbally Sun 10-Feb-13 15:49:32

I do have children. Happy and well-adjusted btw, before anyone wants to speculate about that. Some of you far too touchy, cba with it tbh, am bowing out. Have a nice day smile

Goldenbear Sun 10-Feb-13 15:49:55

Wannabe, I don't come from the school of thought that children should do as their told without question.

There is nothing wrong with teaching your child about the impact of their behaviour on other people's feelings.

PhilMcAverty Sun 10-Feb-13 15:50:01

I've always found ignoring works. Horses for courses and all of that.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 10-Feb-13 15:50:13

I always found reasoning to be successful. I still wouldn't laugh at someone struggling with their child though.

Check out the stately homes thread. Pages of people who were brought up made to feel like they were to blame for their parents moods.

The OP is not saying dont reason with your child.

Either am I. But fgs dont make everything about emotions.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 10-Feb-13 15:52:36

I agree Golden. I spend a lot of time explaining a lot of things to my DD. I like her to be able to make informed choices and to understand the consequences of certain actions etc.

PhilMcAverty Sun 10-Feb-13 15:54:18

Having a bit of a giggle at the vision of someone carrying a toddler while trying to push a buggy at the same time. Maybe I don't have your reasoning skills, but neither of my DCs would have got me doing that grin

PhilMcAverty Sun 10-Feb-13 15:57:01

Puds - I agree with informed choices and it's what I expect from my eldest. My 2yo, not so much. She can't even decide if she wants to wear a hat or not.

catladycourtney1 Sun 10-Feb-13 15:59:11

Hmm. I don't have a toddler yet but I've witnessed a lot of tantrums, and I think that, while reasoning and explaining things to your children are good habits to get into, there comes a point where you have to be the adult and take the lead. Otherwise you end up not getting anything done. But like I said, I haven't dealt with a toddler of my own yet so I'm not sure what I'd actually do in the situation.

Goldenbear Sun 10-Feb-13 16:02:53

No thanks, what a voyeuristic statement, 'check out stately homes thread'

I think putting a tantrumming baby/toddler into a buggy, which is often a physical ordeal, if not impossible just teaches them you are bigger and stronger than them and don't care about their upset.

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