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to laugh at parents who try to reason with a toddler having a tantrum?

(214 Posts)
stradbally Sun 10-Feb-13 15:15:00

Mummy: "It's time to leave the park now DS/DD, I did say 20 minutes and you've had 25, and we have to go to Tesco on the way home to buy yummy food for dinner, so please get in the buggy, you can see Millie/Billy tomorrow, say bye bye now etc etc ......."

DS/DD: "Waaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaa waaaaaaaa while rolling on the ground or doing that running on the spot thing

Mummy, in weird uber-controlled voice: I understand you're tired and playing in the park is lots of fun but we do want lovely dinner don't we, so please get in the buggy etc etc on and on..........

DS/DD: Waaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaaaa

I see it all the time, it's hilarious. I'm all for talking properly to children and explaining things etc, but seriously when they're in that state it won't go in! Just pick them up, quick cuddle, plonk them in the buggy and go!

IvorHughJangova Sun 10-Feb-13 15:16:13

Wow. You should offer your services as some kind of Parenting Guru to all these poor struggling people who aren't doing precisely what you'd do. The idiots.

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo Sun 10-Feb-13 15:18:33

Yeah cos they should totally just beat the child into submission or scare them, what morons. biscuit

All these years I have been so very wrong, its not like I know my own children or anything, thank you for your wise advice that would have ended in a wrestling match if I tried to plonk my unwilling toddler in a buggy hmm

TheMightyLois Sun 10-Feb-13 15:20:44

YABU.

mamalovesmojitos Sun 10-Feb-13 15:20:55

biscuit

TheMightyLois Sun 10-Feb-13 15:21:44

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

stradbally Sun 10-Feb-13 15:22:09

Hey hey,was tongue in cheek, lighten up people! Why so defensive? smile

Ok so if just putting them in the buggy doesnt work wtf does?

I have yet to meet a toddler that can be reasoned with.

YANBU OP. I laugh too.

piprabbit Sun 10-Feb-13 15:22:56

Talking calmly and rationally in the face of tantrums might be all that is stopping them bursting into hot tears of humiliation and frustration. Just saying blush.

Sirzy Sun 10-Feb-13 15:22:59

You version would actually go more like "pick them up, be kicked and him, fight to get them in the pram, trap own fingers in buckle trying not to get screaming toddler" in most cases and still have a screaming child in the pram.

Nothing wrong with explaining what your doing and why to a toddler. They may not fully understand while young but it's a good habit to get into

TwoPoundCharityShopShoes Sun 10-Feb-13 15:23:16

grin @ YABAT!

Wow, your children are so lucky they have you as a parent!

georgedawes Sun 10-Feb-13 15:24:42

surely it's better to talk calmly than shout? Often it's the only thing that stops me bellowing!

stradbally Sun 10-Feb-13 15:27:31

IME reasoning with them at that stage just winds them up more until they're in a complete state, when if you just distract them, put them in buggy or whatever, they've fallen asleep or forgotten about it by the time you're out the park gates. Who said anything about shouting?!

georgedawes Sun 10-Feb-13 15:28:49

Well I'm not perfect and my toddler having a tantrum makes me shout sometimes. Talking calmly helps to stop that.

You sound a bit judgemental to be honest, people are just trying their best.

If you control yourself that way thats great.

When DD1 was irrational I explained once. Encouraged. Distracted. And then lifted and carried to the car/buggy.

Major SOH fail on this thread.

Yep, because all kids are the same you know.

Yabvu, having 4 dcs myself, i can assure you it isn't very easy to cuddle, then plonk in buggy as you put itgrin!!!

A firm word telling a child why him or her have to leave the park is normal practise, it doesn't always work but it can most of the time.
Putting a tantruming child straight into their buggy does not work, if anything like mine, toddlers go stiff as a board and strapping them in is a nightmare. But a firm word can sometimes calm them enough to make the job of going in buggy/walking easier.

Next time you go to a park don't sit, observe & judge. It's people that do that, that make me & other mums feel all the more stressed & of course embarrased when we shouldn't be as toddlers will be toddlerswink

EmmaBemma Sun 10-Feb-13 15:30:06

"Wow. You should offer your services as some kind of Parenting Guru to all these poor struggling people who aren't doing precisely what you'd do. The idiots. "

ha ha! yeah, exactly that. For what it's worth, my tantrum technique is not dissimilar to yours, OP, but I don't think people who do it differently have got it wrong. Presumably they know their own children better than I do?

IvorHughJangova Sun 10-Feb-13 15:30:38

If I reason with DS (nearly 2), half the time he'll listen to me, half the time he won't.

If I dared to pick him up and put him in a 'buggy' <shudder>, which he's not sat in since he was 18 months, he'd have a meltdown.

Do what's best for your own children and try not to sneer at others who are doing the best for theirs.

Veritate Sun 10-Feb-13 15:31:15

I used to find tantrums quite restful, provided they weren't happening in public and I didn't have to go anywhere. Once I'd established that whichever dc it was didn't have anything wrong with them and wasn't going to respond to reasoning or cuddles, I'd just leave them to it and go and do something else. Generally the fact that they were getting no attention worked like a charm.

Clytaemnestra Sun 10-Feb-13 15:31:46

Oh yeah. Just distract them. It really is that easy. hmm

Out of interest OP, how old are your dc?

piprabbit Sun 10-Feb-13 15:33:07

There's a joke/shaggy dog story doing the rounds at the moment.

A woman is in the supermarket when she spots a mum pushing her little girl around in the trolley. The child is screaming, kicking and shouting but the mum is calmly saying "It's OK Sarah, we're nearly finished, not long now".
A little later, the woman sees the mum and child again. The child is still misbehaving but the mum is continuing with her calm reassurances "Just got to find the washing powder, Sarah, then we'll go home and have some lunch. Nearly finished".
Finally the woman spots the family at the checkout, ready to leave. The mum is still calm and dignified "One last bag to pack, then we can go. We've almost done it, Sarah, not long now".

The woman is so impressed with the mum's calm behaviour that she goes up to the mum and tells her "I love the way you have stayed calm and reasonable while coping with Sarah's tantrum".

The mum replies "Oh, she's called Lucy. I'm Sarah".

I fail to see any sneering or judging in the OPs posts.

Its embarrassing at the time. But you gotta laugh at these things. If I didnt laugh I would cry.

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