SAHM goes back to work after 10 years - how do you cope with the resentment?

(127 Posts)
MsGasket Sun 10-Feb-13 10:19:31

So I yelled at DH this morning that I hated him and that I would keep telling him that until he left - I don't want him to leave (yes, I know v. unreasonable behaviour from me), I'm just finding it difficult to cope with my feelings of resentment. At least I think that's what I'm feeling.

AIBU to think that just because I only work part-time (so that the family continues to 'function') I shouldn't have to run the place!!! Yes, I know there are women that work full-time and run the home which is why I'm writing this in the hope of gaining some perspective.

This post could be epic so I'll stop now and write more throughout the thread as necessary. I'm a fairly regular poster but have name changed.

MsGasket Sun 10-Feb-13 19:13:11

Thank you all very much for taking the time to post. I agree as does DH that something needs to change. Neither of us are sure what exactly that is at the moment.

I will take on board what you said Hesterton about the importance of being needed. I'm glad that you are in a happy place right now. Love the sound of your house and eating dahl and drinking wine...

MrsLyman Tue 12-Feb-13 23:14:04

Sorry I know this thread ended a few days ago but it was still open on my phone and I just wanted to say thank you OP for starting it and for being so open about how you are trying to work through your feelings about your situation as it's really helped me gain some clarity about how I feel about my life at the moment.

My situation is quite different in that my children are both under 2 but the feelings of resentment are oh so familiar. My main issue revolves around moving from feeling like we were equal partners in a relationship, both our outside the home goals counted, we could both work as much as we wanted etc. Now 2 maternity leaves in close succession later I am behind in where I planned to be in work, whilst DH has been promoted. My life seems to revolve around nappies, dishes and washing and I feel guilty about anytime taken for myself.

There are days when I just want to stamp my feet and shout it's not fair over and over again until someone listens to me. The general attitude (or at least the one my head focuses on) seems to be that
because I'm a woman and I've had children my true ambition has been achieved. If I go out to work it should be through financial necessity not because I enjoy my job and have other goals I want to achieve. I am just so eaten up with envy that my DH gets to keep being him whilst I have to become someone new.

Although that is unfair as he has also made many changes to his lifestyle.

Anyway I'm rambling now but thanks once again OP and to the other wise posters who have given me much to think about in a very positive way.

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