A bit of backstory - I left ex husband ten years ago due to his drinking/drug taking/threatening to kill us all. Not pleasant, as you can imagine.
We have three children (18, 13 & 11). When the middle one was born, he didn't bond with her at all until she was 12 months, so I've always been rather extra protective of her. He bonded with the other two from birth, no problem.
He has moved overseas and married again, having another child who's about 5. In all this time, he has never given me a penny in maintenance. He has now got a good job in the Middle East - his child goes to private school etc. Great - I'm happy for him and I have always maintained a friendly relationship with him, for the sake of my children. I don't want them to think they're anything less than fab, even if their dad has been a total twat. He's seen them about 4 times and only rings at Christmas and birthdays - recently, he's joined FB so comments on their timelines every couple of months.
Since the eldest went to uni last September, he's given her a few hundred quid every month (but not this month as yet). He used to send the children presents for Christmas and birthdays but now sends money on those occasions and asks me to split it between them.
My middle girl is going on a school residential next week and she reminded me that her dad had said on the phone on Christmas Day that he would send her a few quid for spending money. So I text him last Wednesday, saying I was sorry to ask but could he do so. This is the first time I have ever asked him for money.
No reply.
So tonight, I've text again about an hour ago, thinking he won't be at work so he'd get the message but there's still no answer.
AIBU to send him a private message on FB, asking him what the fuck is going on?
Or shall I just not mention it again and try to scrape some money together for my girl. I'm not currently working so it's a struggle and I know she'd be fine if it was only ÂŁ10. I just can't bear the thought of her thinking that her father thinks more of her older sister than he does her.
I'm so fucking cross with him but am I jumping to conclusions?
AIBU?
To want to kick off or shall I just forget it?
CatelynStark · 09/02/2013 18:12
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