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to want to go outside and slash down the SOLD sign outside our rented home?

(288 Posts)
rocket74 Sat 09-Feb-13 09:03:44

I am so so upset. Our happily rented home for us with 2 small children has been sold and we will have to move out. We wanted to stay here indefinately. Been here 3.5 years but never realised when we moved in our rent was paying for the owners care home fees and that when she died it would be sold. Thought they meant it when they said long term rental.
So gutted. Some couple came round with their kid and dad who was obviously putting up the deposit for them. Alright for some!!
ABSOLUTELY bereft - we have tried looking for somewhere new - but we need an extra £400 month to get somewhere even vaguely similar as rents have gone crazy in this area - Brighton and Hove.
I just want to scream and slash the sign because if I don't I will end up slashing something else - which won't help issues.
Our little boy loves this house - he has autism - and the garden is big enough for him to run and do his laps - as is the living dining room.
I just want to be able to provide him with a home to suit his needs but I don't see how. I'm just crying all the time and feel totally hopeless.

Will I be done for criminal damage if I do smash down that fucking sign?

heidihole Sat 09-Feb-13 09:06:38

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

catgirl1976 England Sat 09-Feb-13 09:08:42

Why would you give the poor OP a biscuit? confused

lockets Sat 09-Feb-13 09:09:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plantsitter Sat 09-Feb-13 09:10:08

It wouldn't achieve anything OP. Sorry you have to move though sad.

TheNebulousBoojum Sat 09-Feb-13 09:10:56

Why would you do that, heidi? confused

OP, it is horrible for you and yours that you have to find somewhere else to live, and your rage and despair is understandable, but you need to calm down and start planning with your OH because flipping out will only confuse and distress your children, especially your DS on the spectrum.
Destroying the sign would also get you into bother. Yes, criminal damage.
So, are either of yours at school yet, and are you restricted to a specific area because of jobs? Could you move out of Brighton a bit and into the sticks, or along the coast for cheaper rents?

HecateWhoopass Sat 09-Feb-13 09:10:59

I understand that you're upset. I would be too. You could kick the crap out of the sign - but the house sale still happens. It's not dependent on the sign being up, and you know that. It's just a symbol in your face of what's happened, isn't it?

Have you been given notice?

What is the law on selling a property that has tenants in it?

Have you been to the CAB and to Shelter for advice?

Have you been to the council?

Do not - repeat NOT - voluntarily leave the home. You may be considered to have made yourself intentionally homeless if you do.

Stay put and make them evict you, while you go on the council waiting list.

You need to know the law on this and you need to get out there and take action.

What have you done so far? What point are you up to? If we know how far you've gone, we know what's left for you to try.

lalabaloo Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:01

I'm sorry you are in this horrible situation,it would be unreasonable if course but your emotions aren't unreasonable at all. Will you manage to find the extra to move somewhere similar or is there the opportunity to move to a less expensive area?

Sirzy Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:01

having had to sell a house after a relative has died it must be a massive relief to them it has sold.

focus on finding somewhere new instead of being angry

justaboutchilledout Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:21

I wonder if you might be better posting this on the SN section. You might get some practical help and suggestions in managing a move for you and your son.

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Sat 09-Feb-13 09:13:01

I am sorry you are sad, but 3.5 years is quite a long rental and somebody died, so it is not as though it was a happy thing for the owners.

I think YABU, it would be good to teach your children that as a family your happiness is not dependent on a particular house, that life is complicated and changeable but that you are able to cope.

Good luck house hunting, I wish you an even better house.

JakeBullet Sat 09-Feb-13 09:13:19

Rocket, cn you speak to the council and ask for housing on medical grounds? I know it doesn't solve your immediate problem but they might well accept you on a waiting list although if you find somewhere privately it will push you back?

How tied are you to this area? Is work etc transferable or not? So sorry for your situation and you badly need some housing advice. Don't touch the sign, it won't help matters and might cause you more issues.

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Sat 09-Feb-13 09:14:17

And yes to finding out your legal rights, do that ASAP.

JakeBullet Sat 09-Feb-13 09:14:23

...and yes I second the SN section too. As the parent of a child with ASD I can understand how frustrating this is.....and have been in your position as well.

giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes Sat 09-Feb-13 09:15:40

yanbu to be angry and frustrated, spend some time being angry then move on to practical solution.s

fuckwittery Sat 09-Feb-13 09:17:30

Have they given you notice? I would consider 3.5 years a long term rental and is afraid that is what comes with renting. I understand you being upset at leaving a home you love and being upset at the difficulties it will cause you but try and focus your energies on a new home, being so angry and feeling hopeless isn't going to help you.

Blackberryinoperative Sat 09-Feb-13 09:17:33

You don't get to stay in rented houses "indefinitely". That's why we moved heaven and earth to buy a house for our kids to grow up in. I was dog tired of worrying about whether our landlord would sell up, fix the boiler, all the rest of it. We spent hundreds of pounds making their nest eggs look nice. I grew tired of it.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Sat 09-Feb-13 09:22:41

'never realised when we moved in our rent was paying for the owners care home fees and that when she died it would be sold. Thought they meant it when they said long term rental.'

'Some couple came round with their kid and dad who was obviously putting up the deposit for them. Alright for some!!'

YABU just for those two comments.

How is it your business what your rent was paying for? And do you think she actively wanted to die and put an end to your long-term rental?

The second is a very resentful and ugly comment. Again, it's not your business where people get their deposit from.

Renting is renting: it has its pros and cons like anything else.

fluffiphlox Sat 09-Feb-13 09:23:33

Are you in a position to make an offer? I got a right pasting recently on here for wondering why people rent rather than buy, and there were some good reasons why some do just that, I found out. However your situation illustrates the problem if you get attached to your rental. It's very difficult if you get too emotionally invested with something that doesn't belong to you.

AmberLeaf Sat 09-Feb-13 09:28:15

You need to get some proper advice regarding how to try and get housed by your local authority.

I understand your frustrations, but now is the time to get practical.

look here thats the website for Shelter.

heidihole Sat 09-Feb-13 09:29:51

The biscuit is because

A) I'd say 3.5 years was correctly described as a long lease
B) the rent is £400 under market value so YABU to expect them to carry on letting you live there while they effectively subsidise you (they either would sell or would increase the rent - either way sound like you would have to move)
C) I took my dad with me to look round our house purely as a second opinion, not cos he was contributing to the purchase price. Even of he was - so what?? Reverse snobbery which I hate.
D) you don't have a god given right to live in someone else's home. A rental is a mutual agreement. Whilst both parties are happy that's fine but if you had chosen to move and they had lost their monthly income I doubt they would be round kicking down the for rent sign in anger that they had to find new tenants.

I understand you're upset.

But 3.5 years is long term. Short term is 6 months or a year.

It's not on to blame the owners (or the owner's children) for it, as they did give you a long term let just as they said, and obviously aren't kicking you out for no reason.

You mustn't touch the sign, however sad you feel. It is horrible, I know - it's really hard not to feel bitter and I imagine especially since you have your little boy settled here. But you will find somewhere else.

lady - I get where you're coming from but the OP is resentful, so what? Have you never had a tiny bit of bitterness and disappointment? It's not as if she's actually doing anything except ranting about it on the net, and aren't we all allowed a little rant before we calm down?

YANBU to be upset. Even if you are renting it is still 'your' home. We were in this position just 6 months ago, we were lucky and ended up finding a lovely home that we will be able to rent for a very long time. Could you look outside the area a little? Shoreham? Portslade? Not so lovely as Hove, but a bit cheaper.... There is no possible way of moving heaven and earth for us to buy somewhere, it is just not an option for a lot of people.
I'm not sure I second the 'let them evict you' suggestion, that would be unfair on the poor people who have also lost a relative, particularly if they have gone about it the right way and given you notice etc. Definitely try the council, I imagine you should be a priority if it means you will be homeless, but I don't know the ins and outs of how they operate.

Something will come up OP. Don't smash the sign, it will achieve nothingsmile

ErikNorseman Sat 09-Feb-13 09:34:28

Fluffi as you must know, many people are absolutely not in a position to buy a house. It's a fairly redundant question as if OP could, I'm sure she would.

OP, I left brighton (well portslade) 3 years ago after being priced out. Do you have transport? You can get a lot more for your money if you go a few miles west or east.

nkf Sat 09-Feb-13 09:35:55

It must be enraging and distressing. Try to look forward. Maybe you will find an even better place. You are the family. The house is just a building. Feel for you though. I know how easy it is to get attached to places.

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