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To think that many parents believe their kids can do no wrong?

(110 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Fri 08-Feb-13 21:10:58

Of course it's natural to think that our children are wonderful and amazing but I work in a school, I have done teacher training and I am amazed at how many parents cannot believe that their children are merely human and therefore just as capable of wrong doing as the next child.
So far I have had a mother complaining that I 'pick' on her child. To which I replied that if her offspring wasn't so badly behaved then I wouldn't have to discipline her.
I sent someone out for throwing a major sulk when I asked her to do some work and to get her feet off the table (she wouldn't). Her mother has now insisted that she no longer comes to my tutorial.
I am constantly hearing stories about parents who refuse to acknowledge the wrongdoings of their young.
Surely we do our kids a great disservice by NOT bollicking them when they have done wrong or by not acknowledging that are even capable of wrong doing in the first place?

Plus I also think that as a generation we are all very confused as to how best discipline our kids...me included. The consistency thing...I'm no expert.

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Feb-13 20:51:24

grin Yeah, agree with the 'I know something's not quite right' intuition. What was the intention of his sneaking?

But it's those kinds of snap judgments that can ruin a persons life, 'You look like a criminal', 'You look like a poof', 'You look a bit Jewish' type of thing.

Once children latch on to what they see as a legitimate reason, they can be vicious using it against their target.

I mean, fuck, they don't even need a reason most of the time, having one just brings out the pack mentality.

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Feb-13 20:53:37

I've been told I look right arsey when I've got no expression on my face echt, like I'm about to punch someone.

Which I would never do unless provoked

countrykitten Sat 09-Feb-13 20:58:38

Marriedinwhite what I do know is that only a certain type of person would use the word 'common' as it is one if those words that says a great deal more about the user than the intended target. The parents and pupils I deal with are not generally Hyacinth Bouquet types as they are secure enough in their own social position not to have to look down on others in the way that you clearly do. I doubt very much if you are a parent of one of the pupils I teach.

amck5700 Sat 09-Feb-13 21:00:54

The sneaking was because he'd been told to do his homework after dinner before going on his computer to play the all consuming minecraft - I couldn't honestly hear a thing, but I could feel the "sneak" grin

amck5700 Sat 09-Feb-13 21:03:05

Zigzag If I can manage not to look glaikit on a day to day basis I consider it a success- I'm happy with any other expression from Axe murderer to porn queen grin

marriedinwhite Sat 09-Feb-13 21:04:04

Oh, I must be a common little parvenu then grin. What top indy do you work for and I'll tell you if I would contemplating sending my DC there.

marriedinwhite Sat 09-Feb-13 21:05:08

And you must be a little circumspect about the word "kids" otherwise you would be happy to use it in front of the parents. If you were comfortable with them socially presumably you wouldn't worry about saying it.

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Feb-13 21:07:55

Tiny hijack, sorry OP, but amck 12 YO DD was asking whether she can have a go on minecraft (£17 one off payment, as you probably know), is it for around that age group do you know?

countrykitten Sat 09-Feb-13 21:14:03

Marriedinwhite I think you mean 'which' not 'what' and clearly I will not say as I do not wish to identify myself. In fact I do use the word 'kids' with parents in relaxed situations but I would not do so in a formal one such as at a parents' evening. I posted in a tongue in cheek way in support of another teacher whom you were rubbishing for using the term as I think you were being very unreasonable. That is really all I wish to say on the matter.

amck5700 Sat 09-Feb-13 21:18:14

yes zigzag- my boys have been playing since about 10 and are now 12 and 11 and most of their friends have accounts. They play each other on various servers and chat via skype while playing. It's their entire social life. I made the eldest look out the window at what the real world looks like today grin I should imagine a lot of her friends have accounts. Go the official route with the proper payment. That sounds about right at 17. sure it was about 13 when they got it and it was still in Beta. There are some scams and stuff going on so tell her to be careful. You can get it on PC or xbox. I know on the PC version you can play a trial game off-line to see if she likes it but I guess that's probably what she has been doing and now wants to sign up.

KitchenandJumble Sat 09-Feb-13 21:23:54

What's wrong with referring to children as kids? I teach at a university and sometimes use the word when referring to my students, although they are all adults. I'm an American, so that's my excuse. wink

But I've never heard anyone on either side of the Atlantic object to the word "kids" before. I would have thought only the Dowager Countess of Grantham or somebody of her era would raise such an objection. grin

marriedinwhite Sat 09-Feb-13 21:25:21

Definitely a common little parvenu then. Thanks so much for correcting my grammar. If I make a mistake in the next donation letter, presumably the head will send the cheque back rather than send a thank you letter.

Absoluteeightiesgirl Sat 09-Feb-13 21:52:18

Standards in state schools from what I have seen are utterly dismal and need to be sorted out without further delay
hmm Married........ do tell what you have seen. You use plural so am assuming that you have spent a sufficiant amount of time in a significant number of the thousands of schools in order to make such a sweeping generalisation. What standards are dismal? Or are you one of those people who knows 'lots of teachers' and base your opinion of the state education on them?
I await your response with interest.

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Feb-13 22:36:31

Thanks amck smile

She has said most people have got it at school, and I've heard of it but just thought it was something like COD or whatever, so I was a bit surprised to see it's a sandbox type of thing.

grin at making him look out the window, was he all pasty faced and wan, shielding his eyes against the glare, brain overloaded with all the colour and light? grin

amck5700 Sat 09-Feb-13 22:45:37

lol - something like that grin - I think he's sees the world in pixilated block form. Really improved his arithmetic skills having to calculate quickly how many blocks of material he needs to make whatever it is he is building!

He fully intended to spend his weeks holiday next week on the PC 24/7 - that's not happening - I had him out town all afternoon today and he is going to the pool tomorrow morning then visiting Granny in the afternoon. He must be getting some sun as he is now 5'5 at age 12 and half!

Hope your daughter enjoys!

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Feb-13 22:56:32

I'm sure she will, thanks.

If it's any consolation, my brother has always lived the same Borg-like existence, but it paid him back and he's a computer programmer now.

amck5700 Sat 09-Feb-13 23:02:04

thanks zigzag - yes, I can see him doing something like that or engineering/architecture - he asked for a proper architects drawing board for Christmas and that's what he does when he runs out of screen time.

amck5700 Sat 09-Feb-13 23:09:12

He apparently has an IQ of 160 - He is quite clever but wouldn't have thought that much, think he hides it well smile

Saski Sun 10-Feb-13 11:56:46

What is wrong with "kids"? My "kids'" teachers use this with frequency. But, we're extremely common.

Saski Sun 10-Feb-13 12:09:26

And, it's pretty rude to lord one's position as school donor over a teacher on a thread after being called out on a gramatical error.

Countrykitten probably wouldn't have pointed out your "what" vs "which" error had you not criticized her choice in words of "kids" instead of "children".

marriedinwhite Sun 10-Feb-13 18:00:23

It was said tongue in cheek because countrykitten picked me up over a grammatical error and referred to me as arriviste and not quite the ticket. Needs to learn that if you can't take it; don't give it.

And fwiw I still detest the term "kids". It is slang and it is horrid and if countrykitten thinks that makes me the equivalent of Hyacinth Bouquet, sobeit. Doesn't make me like it any better. To refer to someone in those terms is pretty offensive and afaiac, having been so rude ck can suck it up grin

trip trap, trip trap. I live next to the iron bridge and watch many little goats go over it daily grin.

Saski Sun 10-Feb-13 18:55:51

Are you surprised that someone would think this of you? Your seem to mention some variation on 1. you're very posh 2. your kids go to "top independent day schools", or 3. that your husband is extremely wealthy and successful and that we would certainly know him if you dared to divulge his name- and so on, in nearly every one of your posts.

I find it so strange that someone would object to "kids" (sure, it's informal. Slang? That's more like "po po" instead of "police") that it verges on affectation in my mine.

countrykitten Sun 10-Feb-13 18:58:53

Oh dear marriedinwhite.

marriedinwhite Sun 10-Feb-13 21:19:42

Nearly every one eh. Clearly you haven't read them all. Gosh, but my life would be very empty if I remembered actual posters for things that irked me for longer than about 20 minutes.

aamia Sun 10-Feb-13 21:36:54

Well, at least now I know why Marriedinwhite hates teachers so much! Whilst I feel terribly sorry for your daughter, you are generalizing a little too much methinks. Or should I hate all parents because there are those who abuse their children - through neglect, alcoholism etc. I can guarantee there are more cases than there were teachers who badly treated your daughter. So many teachers spend hours of their time and a fair bit of their own money just to make those children's lives a tiny bit nicer - a special pencil of their own, lunchtime spent doing a job in the company of an adult who cares, time spent fostering a friendship between two pupils with similar experiences so they had someone to share their lives with who understood, time to do homework/reading because no-one would at home, a nice packed lunch for a trip when only crisps would be provided... School cooks save seconds for children for whom that is the only meal of the day, TAs sew buttons back on, glue shoe soles together, repair ripped skirts/trousers/jumpers. Often the schools that do NOT get Outstanding, that struggle to get Good due to the areas they are in and the intake they get, are those in which the staff care most, where every child is valued and cared for, over and above the demands of the job. But that's all rubbish isn't it, because one school was bad for you?

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