Dd wasting food, aib mean? trivial

(12 Posts)
MariusEarlobe Thu 07-Feb-13 17:20:56

Dd age 10 stayed with my parents at the weekend.

On Friday night she didn't feel like a big tea (fair enough as they had had a special dinner at school) and was given a picnic type tea by mum which involved sandwiches she didn't eat but cake and biscuits and SucH she did eat hmm

On Saturday she declined tea again and then declined the picnic but was apparently given ice cream and biscuits anyway. So she did the same Sunday getting sweets and biscuits and such [Hmm] I didn't know this.

Anyway Monday, Tuesday she has eaten packed lunch at tea time due to school play and them having to stay in school.
Last night they had half an hour at home and she only felt like toast she said so I gave her that with the intention of adding a supper later as she had play again. She refused supper but then asked for junk but didn't get it.

Tonight she came home starving, was given a choice, I cooked what she asked for. She took one bite and left it all and I've just caught her getting chocolate out of the fridge.

Would I be mean to say nothing else until morning?
I am on a low working income and can't afford to throw food away.

manicbmc Thu 07-Feb-13 17:23:15

I don't think that's mean. You offered her what she wanted and she didn't eat it so definitely no snacks.

If the food is able to be warmed up, I'd keep it and if she is hungry later, offer to warm it up for her - but no sweets, chocolate or biscuits.

Purple2012 Thu 07-Feb-13 17:23:48

I wouldn't let mine not eat tea and then snack. I have the crust problem often. She was told time and time again to eat them, not just take 2 bites and leave it. Then when crusts were again left in her lunch box she got them for tea. Hasn't happened again. (she wouldn't think to throw them in the bin at school!)

StuntGirl Thu 07-Feb-13 17:25:18

Stop buying cakes and chocolate and don't let her help herself to food.

If she doesn't want what you've cooked for dinner don't make a big deal out of it, pop it to one side and she can eat it later if she gets hungry.

I'd also probably stop giving her pudding and sweets after meals., they're unnecessary all the time.

Tonight, if you've already chucked what you cooked offer her some toast or a sandwich, but not junk.

catladycourtney1 Thu 07-Feb-13 17:26:52

What punishments do you usually use? Did you tell her she wasn't to have any treats since she left her tea?

I don't really agree with food-related punishments, but if she's defying you then she's misbehaving regardless of whether it's about food or not. There's a big difference between saying "No chocolate/sweets/crisps" and saying "no more food today". Although, it is teatime, so she definitely won't waste away! My parents used to tell me I would get nothing else if I left what I'd asked for (they were on a low income too), but I was normally allowed a bowl of cereal or toast before bed anyway so that was a bit of a pointless punishment for me.

GreenShadow Thu 07-Feb-13 17:28:44

Why did she leave your dinner?

We don't do snacks if meals aren't eaten - it's just an accepted part of life here

MariusEarlobe Thu 07-Feb-13 17:29:01

We haven't got any sweets or cake, that happened at my mum's and I wasn't aware till tonight.

The chocolate is mine from my birthday and she knows she shouldn't have helped herself.

manicbmc Thu 07-Feb-13 17:30:13

In that case, taking chocolate that isn't hers, I'd send her to bed early.

MariusEarlobe Thu 07-Feb-13 17:31:26

Tbh I've never had issues before now.

She just said she wasn't hungry now after being starving half an hour before

lljkk Thu 07-Feb-13 17:36:17

Mine are late night snackers & food sneakers. angry. yanbu.

StuntGirl Thu 07-Feb-13 17:46:36

The chocolate is mine from my birthday and she knows she shouldn't have helped herself.

I would punish her for stealing your chocolate. But not for not eating dinner, punishments over food are a battleground you don't really want to enter. If she's hungry later she can have some toast or something.

specialsubject Thu 07-Feb-13 18:06:19

what she didn't eat can be covered and put in the fridge for tomorrow. Or she can reheat it later. No need to waste it, but she doesn't get a different meal until it has gone.

Exact suitable punishment for taking something that isn't hers.

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