To think I should get to pick what my dd wears?

(144 Posts)
cherryonthetop2013 Thu 07-Feb-13 11:31:59

So MIL gave a dress, tights, shoes and shrug to DP the other day. I don't like it, neither does DP. The shoes are too small for her, the tights and shrug are also not nice.
I'm not fussy or ungrateful, I just really don't like it, she'll look like a bridesmaid on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Far far too fussy for a baby (she's only 5 months).
MIL bought the dress before Xmas so I doubt I'll be able to return it.
Anyway, last night DP told me that MIL wants DD to wear it to our birthday meal. MIL and I share the same birthday so we're having a big family meal at a lovely restaurant.
I've already got a dress for DD that she was given when she was first born and I've been dying for her to grow in to it, it's stunning and she looks so beautiful in it and I can't foresee another occasion for her to wear it.
DP has said he's not getting involved over the dress politics but "it is also my Mum's birthday and I think she'll be upset if she doesn't wear it".
But honestly the dress makes me want to vomit, I'd cringe every time I looked at my dd looking so rediculous. A couple of my friends have also seen the dress and say the same, it's vile!

Having a boy was so much easier, no bloody dramas about dresses then!

What do I do? Put her in a dress that I hate so to not upset MIL or put her in a dress which I love?
Btw it's my 30th and MIL's 60th so both special birthdays, so I can't even use that as a decider.

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 11:49:24

Loving the idea of her being horrified in the future by her dress sense at 5 months!

What Hully said. After all, it will make her grandma very happy, and she's not a doll, is she? So you don't care what she wears?

plummyjam Thu 07-Feb-13 11:49:33

Do you like your MIL? If so, I'd just put DD in the outfit. She's too young to care what she looks like, and MIL will most likely be over the moon to see her in it. It sounds like she's put a lot of thought into the outfit and it'll be a nice birthday present for her to see her granddaughter in it. DD is probably just going to puke/spill/stain it anyway.

TheFallenNinja Thu 07-Feb-13 11:50:44

Yep. 1 pic. Bin. Done.

Have you actually tried the dress on her? It genuinley might not fit and there's your answer. If it does fit then I'd probably let her wear it and avoid a scene. Have you told your MIL that the shoes are no good? There is nothing that would make me put shoes that didn't fit on my DD. Take a photo of her wearing the Big Fat Gypsy Wedding dress and keep it for her wedding day speeches! She'll appreciate it then grin

sue52 Thu 07-Feb-13 11:53:33

It's just a dress and it will make mil happy. I wouldn't let her wear too small shoes. I'm sure you will have another chance for her to wear your preferred outfit. Life is too short to fall out over something so trivial.

Startail Thu 07-Feb-13 11:53:36

MIL's dress for meal, where it's likely to get grubby.

Yours for a trip to the photographers, nice and clean.
Or out in your garden, local park as soon as the spring flowers come out and take lots of photos of your own.

MIL happy and it's your dress that sits framed on the book case in ten years time.

LadyBigtoes Thu 07-Feb-13 11:53:51

Put her in it, along with high heels and loads of trashy make-up. grin

No honestly I would put her in it, go to the lunch, take the dress you like as well, and chances are (perhaps with a leetle help!) she can have a spillage / poo smearage and she can get changed, so both dresses go on show.

On the plus side, she's too little to care, she'll grow out of the horrible dress, and by the time she's about 18 months she'll be deciding what she'll wear, if she's anything like mine.

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 11:54:41

People 5 months old shouldn't be wearing shoes whether they "fit" or not.

DialsMavis Thu 07-Feb-13 11:56:08

Weren't you complaining about your MIL and this very dress the other day? Something about it being weird that she didn't give it to you straight away and kept it at her house until it was nearly too small.
Put her in it or don't... Neither you or anyone else will care in the future.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Thu 07-Feb-13 11:59:30

Agree with seeker about the shoes.

Put your DD in your dress.

CountTurdula Thu 07-Feb-13 11:59:47

Why make such a big drama out of something so small? If you really can't budge on this then take a picture of dd wearing it, frame it and let her give it to her gran as a little gift. Most of my pictures from childhood involve me wearing something horrific. Those are the best pictures to look at and laugh about. Not the ones where I've been forced to sit and not eat anything for fears of ruining the outfit.

atthewelles Thu 07-Feb-13 12:02:48

Most 5 month old babies are so covered up with bibs, blankets etc you hardly notice what they're wearing. Why don't you get a nice professional photo of your family taken to mark your 30th and put your daughter in the dress you bought for that (minus any bibs etc).

Then, when she grows up, she can be delighted at what great taste she had as a baby.

YouOldSlag Thu 07-Feb-13 12:02:58

As many other wise posters have said, put her in the enemy dress, and take yours to change into as soon as she no doubt gets it dirty.

You are making way too much fuss.

There are loads of pics of DH's nieces done up like a dog's dinner as a baby. MIL and her frilly, woolly, lacy, tartan taste was all over it. We just look back and have a little chuckle.

You do the same and relax a bit.

mommabee Thu 07-Feb-13 12:06:55

She's your daughter put her in your dress! Your MIL can like it or lump it, don't stress life's too short wink

YouOldSlag Thu 07-Feb-13 12:08:38

By the way your thread title is a bit misleading. Anyone would think you are NEVER allowed to choose what your DD wears! It's one day. Forget the shoes and put the dress on. You get to choose the other 364 days!

You might be a MIL yourself one day!

LoopsInHoops Thu 07-Feb-13 12:10:29

Put her in a babygro.

ICBINEG Thu 07-Feb-13 12:10:31

Ha - see this is why I issued a blanket statement regarding clothing to all my family.

If you wouldn't buy it for DD's male cousin then don't buy it for DD. Because she won't be wearing it.

Okay so we did get one dress this xmas...but from people that will never know that she never wears it.

EuroShagmore Thu 07-Feb-13 12:13:40

Just say she threw up all over it as you were about to leave the house.

CornflowerB Thu 07-Feb-13 12:14:05

YANBU
Dress your daughter how you like. No explanation, no apologies, just do it. Seriously, don't pander to this.

NumericalMum Thu 07-Feb-13 12:14:16

I would let her wear it. My mil and mum have bought and made DC some amazingly awful things over the years but they have done it with love so I let them get some pleasure out of it!

fromparistoberlin Thu 07-Feb-13 12:15:05

banana idea YY

its stains forever!!!!

Tryharder Thu 07-Feb-13 12:15:09

It would be very kind of you to dress your DD in the dress for the dinner. The dress might not be to your taste but I'm sure it's not that bad.

EasilyBored Thu 07-Feb-13 12:16:45

I think she needs to have a poo-splosion in the fugly dress. Whoops.

Can you post a picture of this hideous dress so we can judge properly grin

blackeyedsusan Thu 07-Feb-13 12:20:09

i would say that it was a kind thought but you already had dress picked out. make no other comment. don't mke excuses aabout it being sicked on either otherise they my still try to thro their weight around. they are going to haave to get used to you doing what you think is best.

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