To think I should get to pick what my dd wears?

(144 Posts)
cherryonthetop2013 Thu 07-Feb-13 11:31:59

So MIL gave a dress, tights, shoes and shrug to DP the other day. I don't like it, neither does DP. The shoes are too small for her, the tights and shrug are also not nice.
I'm not fussy or ungrateful, I just really don't like it, she'll look like a bridesmaid on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Far far too fussy for a baby (she's only 5 months).
MIL bought the dress before Xmas so I doubt I'll be able to return it.
Anyway, last night DP told me that MIL wants DD to wear it to our birthday meal. MIL and I share the same birthday so we're having a big family meal at a lovely restaurant.
I've already got a dress for DD that she was given when she was first born and I've been dying for her to grow in to it, it's stunning and she looks so beautiful in it and I can't foresee another occasion for her to wear it.
DP has said he's not getting involved over the dress politics but "it is also my Mum's birthday and I think she'll be upset if she doesn't wear it".
But honestly the dress makes me want to vomit, I'd cringe every time I looked at my dd looking so rediculous. A couple of my friends have also seen the dress and say the same, it's vile!

Having a boy was so much easier, no bloody dramas about dresses then!

What do I do? Put her in a dress that I hate so to not upset MIL or put her in a dress which I love?
Btw it's my 30th and MIL's 60th so both special birthdays, so I can't even use that as a decider.

gordyslovesheep Thu 07-Feb-13 11:34:12

oh what a shame it would be if it got dirty/dog ate it/carrot puree down the front/got ruined in the wash etc etc

Remove the shoes and if asked say you wouldn't want to damage her feet.

Put MIL's dress on first. Take a picture. Give her some banana to play with. Remove the dress, bin it because 'oh dear, it's stained!', and then put yours on.

Put her in it, take a pic.
Say she vomited on it just as you were going out the door.
Put the nice dress on her. Easy grin

X posts travel grin

TheSecretCervixDNCOP Thu 07-Feb-13 11:36:36

Just say "I tried to put it on her but it was a little too snug so I put this one on her as she has more room"

11Plustrauma Thu 07-Feb-13 11:36:37

Put it on her and engineer a spill down the front when MIL is looking the other way just after you arrive. And go and change her into what you want.

Or just dress her in what you decide and tell DP it's your special birthday, she's your daughter and you're dressing her how you like. And that he needs to grow up and stand up to his mother.

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 07-Feb-13 11:36:40

Put her in MILs dress for a photo at some point before the meal.

Then take her to the meal in her beautiful dress.

If MIL says anything, say she was a bit sick/dribbled/whatever, and give MIL a picture.

No stress smile

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 11:37:06

She shouldn't be wearing shoes anyway.

And the dress "makes you want to vomit"?

Grow up.

11Plustrauma Thu 07-Feb-13 11:37:26

Loving all the posts saying basically exactly the same thing grin

NoobytheWaspSlayer Thu 07-Feb-13 11:37:30

Your baby, your birthday, your dress. And your DP was getting involved by chipping in the 'upset' comment. If MIL asks the other dress 'was really lovely, but just didn't fit/we had a ginourmous poo incident' or you could just say 'Thank you for the dress, but I really wanted her to wear this one'

Then put her in the horrible dress and take her to visit MIL, or take MIL out for lunch with your DD so she can show her off in the dress she (MIL) likes. She was (after all) just trying to be nice by buying what she thinks is a nice outfit.

notMarlene Thu 07-Feb-13 11:37:43

Yeas, exactly. Put her in in take a photo and OH, what a shame she had a nappy explosion and it's ruined. The horror.

I share a birthday with MIL too - what a pile of shite hey?

SunshineOutdoors Thu 07-Feb-13 11:39:38

Could you just talk to your mil yourself, say that dh told you she thought dd would be wearing her dress, but you actually have already bought a dress for that date so would she mind if you saved her dress for a different day?

Narked Thu 07-Feb-13 11:39:49

Tell her it's too small. Done.

Fakebook Thu 07-Feb-13 11:40:32

I don't ever remember fussing over what dress my dd wore at 5 months. Female babies aren't that much different to male babies, so I think you're overreacting and being a bit weird about this.

My dd was so beautiful (and still is) she'd look amazing even in rags.

StuntGirl Thu 07-Feb-13 11:40:48

She shouldn't be wearing shoes anyway.

And the dress "makes you want to vomit"?

Grow up.

^ This.

11Plustrauma Thu 07-Feb-13 11:41:26

Problem is, if you say "do you mind" or ask if she would mind, then she might say "actually I do mind" and you're buggered.

WileyRoadRunner Thu 07-Feb-13 11:42:49

I think you and mother in law are both being ridiculous.

What's wrong with a baby grow? Onesies are all the rage ... You could get matching ones?

Hullygully Thu 07-Feb-13 11:43:02

I'd put her in t edress and be nice to MIL

kife is short

kindness is in short supply

who cares?

it's just a dress

purrpurr Thu 07-Feb-13 11:44:16

The dress sounds vile. Aside from anything else, your DD will be a grown-up at some point - do you want her to look back at a picture of her in that? Far better for her to look outstandingly gorgeous smile It's a special occasion, it's your 30th. I think it's lovely that your MIL has gone to the effort of putting together an outfit for your DD, and hopefully that has been acknowledged. The outfit doesn't have to be worn. She's your daughter, not a doll - which is to say, she's not a little thing to be dressed up according to the various whims of the family. I think it's best that you dress her.

Just a word of caution re: the outfit from your DMIL meeting a gritty end via banana/spillage/other: What's to stop her buying similar outfits in future? Just how many Tragic Banana Incidents can there be before eventually she'll have to wear something last seen in a nightclub circa 19never? Your MIL is a person, I'm sure she'll understand that your tastes don't quite mesh. Mine would. (My DM... That's another story.)

Floggingmolly Thu 07-Feb-13 11:44:19

Just put her in the fecking dress! Is it really worth falling out over? The other dress sounds like a complete waste of money if she'd genuinely only wear it on this one occasion, change it for something else.

Feminine Thu 07-Feb-13 11:48:15

I'd put her in it. You almost have to.

Its a small thing to make MIL happy isn't it?

I do get that its not your choice though, its very understandable that you don't want to.

I think your day will be much easier if you do.

Rhubarb78 Thu 07-Feb-13 11:48:53

I feel for you, ds has some outfits that I just cant bring myself to leave the house with him in them. if it was just mil's birthday I would say just suck it up and let her wear the dress but as it is also your birthday cant you just say you already bought something for her? Then just put it on one day when you are going to mil's and pretend she wears it loads, just happens to be when you dont see mil

Viviennemary Thu 07-Feb-13 11:48:55

I think I'd just put her in the dress to keep the peace. It's only one day after all. And she'll never know anyway. It's not worth an argument over this trivial stuff if you generally get on and are fond of your MIL. Not the shoes though if they are too small.

Bibs123 Thu 07-Feb-13 11:48:57

Let her wear it and get over it, it is one meal.

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