NSPCC 'I promise' dvd. Anyone else seen it? (non accidental injury to children)

(88 Posts)
PictureMeInThese Wed 06-Feb-13 10:19:22

I originally posted this in chat but got no response.
My sister has just a lovely new snuggly baby smile
I picked her, BIL and DN up from the hospital a few hours after she gave birth. We were waiting for her to be discharged when the mw came in and explained she'd like to show DS and BIL a DVD from the NSPCC for research (IIRC).
So we watched it. It was mostly interviews with parents of babies talking about coping mechanisms for coping with crying babies. It also showed (quite graphically) what happens to a baby when it is shaken.
Now, I think the NSPCC are great, but we were sat open mouthed after watching this.
Don't get me wrong it was a well done film done sensitively and I can see that it would be a useful resource for new parents, but DN was 4 hours old. Parents still on a high after giving birth and then being shown this. I thought the timing was completely inappropriate.
After they'd watched the dvd they had to sign a form with 'I promise' on the top. I think this was the consent for the research, but the way it was presented it felt very much like they were signing a form promising not to shake their baby.
I don't know, i just felt very uncomfortable about it. AIBU?

yaimee Wed 06-Feb-13 10:21:37

Yanbu I was unbelievably emotional after having ds and that would have upset me, I'm not sure its the time or place for it.

stargirl1701 Wed 06-Feb-13 10:22:18

Yes. We were shown it before we left the MLU with DD in Sep 2012. It is disturbing but it's meant to be. I cried, holding my newborn, watching it.

catgirl1976 Wed 06-Feb-13 10:22:59

Wow

On the one hand of course it's an important message etc, and it kind of makes sense to see parents whilst they are in the hospital instead of trying to co-ordinate home visits etc

But 4 hours after the birth sad I'd have been a wreck. The form sounds a bit odd too confused

I'd be uncomfortable even if it wasn't reasonable to be so

Sad it needed sad

Katienana Wed 06-Feb-13 10:25:19

I think that is poor timing, it could trigger pnd. Maybe it would be better as part of health visitor, or an optional pre natal education session.

CartedOff Wed 06-Feb-13 10:26:52

That sounds really messed up to me. I would have hated to have seen that hours after giving birth. The timing is all wrong.

MariusEarlobe Wed 06-Feb-13 10:27:35

Yanbu, highly inappropriate.

But then I have big issues with the new in school workshops that they are doing which ask leading questions using inexperienced volunteers who have no background history in some cases of working with children which imo will put children who are abused at risk and families who haven't done anything wrong on the radar.

thats crazy. By all means tell parents not to shake babies (although really how many babies injured in this way are harmed by people who really didnt think that shaking a baby would harm it?) but this is implying they really are on the verge of seriously harming their baby and that basically tjey are a bit shit - the baby is only 4 hours old confused

purrpurr Wed 06-Feb-13 10:28:49

God, I can't even watch the NSPCC advert with the child who has learnt not to cry as nobody comes, it kills me, I can't bear to watch it. I turn it off, I'm ashamed to say. But the fact is it's made such a mark on me that I don't NEED to see the advert to be reminded of the charity and what they do. I can recall the advert from memory.

I wouldn't be able to sit and watch a film hours after childbirth. Is it optional at all?

littleducks Wed 06-Feb-13 10:29:06

I think it is inapropriate. Perhaps it would be better to be placed in antenatal classes or as part of midwife/hv home visits (I can see the second casuing problems with equipment though).

Some people are on a high after giving birth. Some people are not, they may have only discovered medical information, had a hideous birth or just been in the 'baby blues' hormone crazy period. Either way most people are very vulnerable.

As an aside, if it is 'research' her consent showed have been obtained and the form signed first not after watching it.

Flisspaps Wed 06-Feb-13 10:29:21

Do they really think showing someone a DVD in the hours post birth is going to stop someone shaking a baby?!

Absolutely inappropriate to show it then. Perhaps making the video available online and then putting the link in the bloody awful Bounty packs would be better (but still as useless, IMO)

noblegiraffe Wed 06-Feb-13 10:30:29

I was asked if I would watch it on the post-natal ward too. I said no, and the lady said that was fine, but I did feel awkward saying no, like I didn't care about my baby.
As it was, DD is my second, DS was a non-sleeping nightmare and I figured that if I coped ok with him, I'd probably manage this one without a DVD.
The timing definitely felt wrong and intrusive.

TeWiSavesTheDay Wed 06-Feb-13 10:31:48

I think it's very inappropriate, you don't know which parents have been abused as children themselves and might be particularly sensitive to this kind of thing.

I was certainly a complete wreck when I had my pfb and was very worried that someone would hurt her as it was.

sydlexic Wed 06-Feb-13 10:32:58

It does seem a bit harsh. I think there is a tendency to think those convicted of child abuse are evil people who planned and enjoyed hurting their babies when in reality they may be tired stressed and just lose it for one minute, they would never hit and so they shake their baby in frustration. I guess if it prevents just one case then that's a good thing.

ballstoit Wed 06-Feb-13 10:44:17

Marius Have you got a link or somewhere I can find out more about the programme you mentioned? I

I did some training with another organisation for work last week, and was pretty shocked at some of the leading questions they were suggesting it was okay for a volunteer to be asking...have lodged a cause for concern with their trustees.

PictureMeInThese Wed 06-Feb-13 10:47:48

I think the idea of seeing it antenatally or a bit later with the hv would be better. It was just too soon.

bubbles11 Wed 06-Feb-13 10:55:34

I do understand the comments about it being insensitive and maybe the DVD could have been more diplomatic in it's caveats (I have not seen it - but maybe something at the beginning about it being a public information broadcast and not intended at any specific individual etc?)

But I can understand why the staff did this (1) most people are booted out of the maternity ward incredibly fast after having a baby (not a good thing at all but that is how things are in 2013) if they don't show it to new parents quickly they might have left hospital by the time it is "appropriate" (2) isn't it more "pointed" for example for a health visitor to bring the dvd to someone's home? so this would be worse, better to do it in hospital (3) I agree with the above point that it is a myth that only "evil" people shake their babies - the first 4 months with a newborn especially for first time parents (especially those not supported by wider family) is a real shell shock as to how hard it is and how tiring and frustrating the endless crying can be - if there is practical advice on the DVD like "if you get frustrated leave the baby in a safe comfortable place and let them cry for a few minutes and go into another room to calm down (rather than hurt the baby)" - then that can ONLY be a good thing for new parents to hear surely??? I am all in favour.
I can understand an emotional reaction by new parents but I can see why the NSPCC propose this timing/delivery of their dvd and I think it is good (shoot me down now if you like)

MariusEarlobe Wed 06-Feb-13 10:57:37

ballstoit

www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-schools/schools-service/our-schools-service_wda73313.html

I just really worry people who have no experience with children and little training are going to stumble in and cause big issues.

MariusEarlobe Wed 06-Feb-13 10:59:44

And I say that as someone with child protection training.

Mosman Wed 06-Feb-13 11:03:00

I have to say I stopped giving to the NSPCC as I don't like their shock tactics the people this is aimed at aren't the type that sit watching video's in ante natal wards, I'm sure the stats on little baby/child abuse are that it's usually not the father of the child but mums new boyfriend who can't stand the crying but doesn't love the child. He's unlikely to be there at that early stage.

PictureMeInThese Wed 06-Feb-13 11:21:08

'The people this is aimed at- not the type that sit watching'?
What, new parents? Do you think my DS and BIL were shown this because they were a type?
Child abuse could be done by anybody, they don't have to be a type FGS. You're making some terrible assumtions there Mosman

ICBINEG Wed 06-Feb-13 11:24:12

Agree that antenatal is the time for this. With a verbal follow up from HV post birth.

Mosman Wed 06-Feb-13 11:26:15

There are pretty accurate profiles of what a child abuser looks like, just as there are for shop lifters and even traffic offences.
The slap dash frighten the life out of everyone and reduce new parents to tears approach I think is bad form and ineffectual.

ballstoit Wed 06-Feb-13 12:12:25

Are there Mosman? Profiles of child abusers?

PictureMeInThese Wed 06-Feb-13 12:41:40

I'd love to see what they look like, I'd know who to avoid then. hmm

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