ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
It's up to mums to teach their boys that pubic hair on women is normal!?(297 Posts)
I've read countless surveys and reports over the last few months that state that young men would be 'grossed out' if they went to bed with a woman and found that she had pubic hair.
They seem to think that all women either come hair free or should wax it all off.
I think a lot of this attitude comes down to them viewing porn where it's normal for a woman to have zero pubic hair and a neat little pudenda.
It's a worry. I quizzed the local boys who work in our pub and they all wax their chest and think pubic hair is disgusting on both men and women.
So glad I am married to a man who appreciates the 70's!
But what is in store for our young girls?
I don't really care if my daughters shave their bits ...as long as they don't leave hairs in the bath.
In a word, yes. If boys have looked at stuff on the internet, they don't know what normal is. Do they think all girls should have boob jobs too so they look the same as the pictures?
Many men I know are sufficiently hirsute for body shaving to be impossible. My own DH has got hairier and hairier over the years. This is normal. Do not be afraid to say so.
Life is too short to be removing body hair wholesale with the exception of underarm hair in women (German women used to often leave these and not shave it off) and those middle-aged facial hairs.
Unless their own mothers are porn stars, they aren't really to blame are they?
In this case its mainly media. society etc that needs to sort itself out!
Saski if you are the poster who used the horribly patronising phrase 'young ladies' then yes, I am talking about you.
The point is if a women truly chooses to have all her pubes waxed off then fine but if she doesn't she shouldn't be ridiculed.
The OP has not said that people should never wax she has said that boys should not see women who don't as gross.
The argument that we shave arm pits and legs so why not pubes is ridiculous. Firstly because we only shave arm pits etc because society deems it necessary. Men, who sweat more than women, don't shave for hygiene reasons women do because it's the norm, not a true choice. Just because we have an enforced society norm on shaving certain parts of the body should mean we move to a new society norm to shave more bloody areas.
As I said, if people want to that's fine but boys should not generally think it abnormal if girls don't and visa versa.
I've taught my kids to respect everyone - and they know that friends and relationships (when they have them) are based on human connection and emotional interaction in addition to physical characteristics. I hope my kids therefore realise that its not all about physical appearance.
I like mine in the slightly fluffy soft new growth after a full wax. Does that make me a slave to porn, men and the sexist society? Oh well.
With hair removal more acceptable and less painful than ever before (hello lycon!!!) no wonder more women and men do something to their public hair.
Bring back 70's and 80's porn and you have your solution!
Its not normal to have any particular pubic hair style. Its personal choice.
Worriedmummy73 that has made me laugh sooooooo much, couldn't agree more. I remember being really scared about playing certain music backwards! Justin
On a serious ish note, I like mine pretty much gone am I weird? Who cares, it works for me and at the age of 45 I stopped worrying about people's opinions of my pubes a long time ago
I believe you are referring to me weeping in my porridge, countrykitten, re: post-feminism - but not because of waxing. I don't know how anyone can dispute that feminism has taken a major nose dive.
Anyway, carry on.
Its a different thing in this link but the same kind of pressure. Im willing to bet that there arent many women/girls putting this kind of pressure on their partners and treating them like this.
It's very much a 2 way thing and just as many girls are recoiling from male pubic hair, chest hair, back hair and facial hair
I am very glad that I'm in my mid 30s and am in a long term relationship. If I had to remove my luxuriant body hair, I'd never actually get out of the salon to meet anyone. The excess hair would be enough to keep Wogan, Bruce Forsyth and Tony Blackburn in wigs for decades to come.
I have 2 teenage DSs and, for various reasons, I know loads more. I posted a long thing about porn on another thread, and some of my information comes from that issue, which affected one of DSs big time. You may well be right that girls feel the same about boys having body hair, Countrykitten, as all my information comes from boys, but what bothers me is the whole "disgust" thing about body hair. Seems so unrealistic and so prissy. Might as well complain that they urinate.
Reminds me of John Ruskin, the Victorian art critic, who refused to consummate his marriage on the grounds of revulsion, believed to be at his bride's pubic hair. Seems he had only ever seen classical marble nudes and saw her natural state as repulsive.
N.B. Briefly considered, but discarded, asking my DS2s g'friend what she thinks about male body hair. She'd be mortified, sweet shy girl!!
A demand? Really?
Where do you get your information from?
I've heard boys call pubic hair of any sort on girls disgusting. That's what worries me.
What worries me (well, bemuses me really) is the amount of people who don't seem to 'get' that it's not just a 'boy' dislike of pubic hair on girls.
It's very much a 2 way thing and just as many girls are recoiling from male pubic hair, chest hair, back hair and facial hair (in some cases).
When was the last time you saw a hairy chested/backed male model? Most of them don't even have armpit hair nowadays.
I am a teacher around teenagers day in and day out and have never heard anything like this from boys or girls. I wonder how true all of this actually is....?
Thing is Writehand some of those girls may think Fuck it. And decide to date older guys instead.
Countrykitten, your own preferences are your own preferences and I, at least, am not getting at you. Women have always trimmed their bushes and done as they wished.
However it does appear to be true that among the very young - under 21? -- it's becoming more than an expectation -- a demand -- that all hair be removed. I've heard boys call pubic hair of any sort on girls disgusting. That's what worries me.
Am another one who started shaving my pubic hair before I'd ever seen any glimpse of porn or had a boyfriend to influence me! no idea really why I decided to do it other than just not liking it! Definitely wasn't told to by anybody or pressured, I made my own choice
So I don't think the current trend is completely to do with porn, I think people are perhaps more willing to change their bodies then before maybe, or just that we're more aware of what people do with their pubes than before! A lot must be down to personal preference
That would be OP not OIP!
WTF business is it of anyone else if I keep my fanny trimmed and neat (not bald but close to)? Getting a bit pissed off being told that I am stupid and have been manipulated by men and porn to do this. Fwiw I have never let my pubic hair fully grow as I started trimming as a young teenager - about the same time that I started to shave my legs and under my arms. So what? Shoot me. And this was over 20 years ago when porn was not readily available. Some women and stupid and patronising and need to get a grip.
One post made me laugh - the poster was weeping in to her porridge that 'real feminism' is dying and then went on to say that she was worried about the 'young ladies' of today. That did give me a giggle.
And as for the OIP - sexist stupid drivel.
NIPPLE HAIR !!!!! Can women have nipple hair???
I have been shaving for over 20 years. Strangely I started shaving before I watched my first porn. I shaved my muff after hearing conversations about child birth and hygiene lol. I liked the feeling of a trimmed muff. Having the muff untrimmed feels weird. Also I find having sex nicer with a trimmed muff. Hate the later stages pf pregnancy before I couldnt reach to shave lol.
As for porn influencing bodies. Erm, if anything surely it highlights blokes own inadequecies. The blokes walking around with smaller cocks. Never mind the blokes on pornos can keep it up for hours, giving the females screaming orgasm after screaming orgasm. Not all blokes on rl can achieve this. If anything we (well not me ) should be peeved becuase we are gotting the raw end of the deal. (ooh hears a thought. Maybe the 50 shades lovers are porn watchers with a small cocked man, over in a couple of minutes, finishing themselves off)..
Anyway, I teach my children. their bodies their choice. If they dont want to do something, unless genuine live saving, that they shouldnt feel pressured into doing anything.. Seems to work. Eldest ds now has piercing, long hair and a beard dispite his gf not liking it lol. Dd1 saving up for tattoo's and dyes her hair. Neither dd shaves their legs.
We tend to keep ours trimmed - the operative word being KEEP! DH and I tried the bare look when we were first married, but weren't impressed with the outcome and didn't repeat the experience once it had all grown back. So far, DDs haven't tried, and as we're fairly open about nudity, DS has had extensive exposure to female pubes over the years.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.