to lose it with parents looking after poorly 18 month old DS,

(22 Posts)
CooCoolite Mon 04-Feb-13 21:34:39

My parents have offered to look after DS for some of this week as DH will be away from tomorrow until the weekend and it will help out.

DH dropped him this afternoon and I called at 8 just to check that he was settling in ok. Mum told me that he has actually been sick and has a temperature of 39.7 and was wondering whether to call NHS direct. As he was ok when DH left him at 3pm, it seems like he's gone down hill really quickly and I told them to call NHS or doctor for advice and call me back.

I waited for 30 minutes - quite worried - so called for an update to be told that I had to get off the line as NHS direct were going to call back. Mum then phoned back on mobile to leave land line free and was really upset, crying so much I couldn't understand what she was saying. I told her to calm down and get a grip, she's a first responder and nows what to do in anemergency. She completely lost it with me and passed phone to Dad who told me that he would hang up if I didn't change my tone!

Got DH to phone back to say we were worried and would like an update. Apparently his temperature is dropping - now 38.2 and they are taking him to out of hours surgry for a check up.

I know I was a bit stroppy on phone but am worried that Mum being that upset means that she can't cope with situation, Dad doesn't drive and isn't in best of health. I really want to get in the car and go to my son but not sure if it will make situation worse. Waiting for an update at the mo but not sure how to manage situation and dont want to make it worse and I really think it will.

Was IBU for being a bit stern on phone? What do I do now?? He's on his way for a checkup so do I just sit tight??

Lindsay321 Mon 04-Feb-13 21:36:50

I'd go round there now if I was you. Hope your DS is ok!

LemonBreeland Mon 04-Feb-13 21:38:01

I think you should apologise to your Mum and explain that you reacted that way as you are worried about your son and couldn't get information out of her.

I also would be already there with my child if they were that ill as children want their parents when sick.

LingDiLong Mon 04-Feb-13 21:38:18

Go get him! He's only little, he'll want you if he's poorly. Your mum clearly isn't able to deal with a very poorly little one and it doesn't sound like your dad can either. I'd ring up and apologise, ask if your mum is ok and reassure them that you're on your way over. To be honest, the minute they'd told me he'd been sick and had a high temp I'd have gone to get him. Do you think that was what they expected you to do and that's why they got upset?

FlouncingMintyy Mon 04-Feb-13 21:38:53

Go round. Apologise to your mum for being snappy on the phone.

BeaWheesht Mon 04-Feb-13 21:39:35

I'd go to my son. How far away are they? How long are they supposed to be having ds for? Do they usually do child care?

I think your mum was panicking but ywbu too.

Softlysoftly Mon 04-Feb-13 21:40:46

Why aren't you with your son confused go now and apologise to your mum too.

Piecesofmyheart Mon 04-Feb-13 21:41:35

Get off the computer, get in the car and go to your son.

ll31 Mon 04-Feb-13 21:41:51

would go and get him, he's sick snd will want you. also not fair to leave him sick with your parents when u dont need to.

Rilson Mon 04-Feb-13 21:41:58

I would go to my ill child.

Apologise for being snappy with her and bring him home if you dont think they can cope.

CooCoolite Mon 04-Feb-13 21:42:01

I think you're all right , am off to apologise and cuddle my little boy!

LynetteScavo Mon 04-Feb-13 21:43:19

Of course you don't just sit tight. Go to your son, rather than posting on here.

coldcupoftea Mon 04-Feb-13 21:45:58

I would have been over there straight away.

She is clearly upset, but then your dad should have realised that you are clearly upset and worried too and were frustrated at the lack of info.

chunkythighs Mon 04-Feb-13 21:46:07

Looks tome that its 6 of one and 1/2 dozen of another here. Your parents were not calling you because they needed didn't want to tie up the line.

What exactly is 'a bit stroppy'? Why is your dads health only relevant now?
It's very worrying looking after your own sick child- I imagine that doubles when the child is not your own. Everyone, including you panicked. However it's all good now. Little man is on the turn so I reckon you should move on and chalk it down.
The odd time my parents help out overnight with my dc - they panic if the slightest thing goes wrong. Honestly, move on and forget about it.

Bluemonkeyspots Mon 04-Feb-13 21:50:24

This reminds me off the many Facebook posts "on our way to a&e as "insert name off child" is struggling to breathe" etc

There is a time and a place for posting on the Internet and that's not when you are dealing with a ill child!

holidaysarenice Mon 04-Feb-13 22:05:30

yabu - clearly you are healthy, well and kicking. im assuming that at some stage you had a temperature as a child and ur mum coped fine.

yes its hard when you are not there with your sick child but your mother will cope fine with him. she probably will worry more about her dgc being sick than she did with her dc.

ceeveebee Mon 04-Feb-13 22:06:55

Unless your parents live a long way away I really can't understand why you didn't just go round there when they told you he was ill?

Jayne266 Mon 04-Feb-13 22:11:00

I would go and get him and enjoy so cuddles and I would have been the same to my mum.

toosoft Mon 04-Feb-13 23:15:36

Go and get your child.

annh Tue 05-Feb-13 00:43:11

Why did you not go to your son immediately you heard he was unwell? He's teeny and needs a parent with him

NatashaBee Tue 05-Feb-13 00:56:06

YABU - it's a huge responsibility looking after someone else's sick child.

CooCoolite Tue 05-Feb-13 09:28:27

Hmm wasn't expecting a bit of a flaming, had hoped for constructive advice - thanks to those who offered it.

FWIW, my parents are two hours away and we didn't know where they were going to take him (out of hours surgery, A&E, call out from local doctor) and they weren't answering the phone, we would have been driving blind. My DH also thought it would be best to wait and see, I wasn't so sure hence post - prob to keep myself busy more than anything.

Anyway, son now at home with me, much improved and currently napping. Parents no longer talking to us for creating a fuss and bringing him home this morning when they had planned to have him until Wednesday. Proves you can't really win no matter what you do.

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