anyone else fed up being poor ?

(78 Posts)
Lonelybunny Mon 04-Feb-13 09:15:52

Can't believe we work full time ok minimum wage jobs well just over say 8-10 per hour but we just so skint. I'm on maternity leave , just had to walk the kids a mile and a half to school , which won't do them any harm as we walk home everyday but that's because I can't afford to put more petrol in the car , we have cut down on food shopping , can't go any lower , we cook fresh and but economy meat , make up big pasta dishes etc ! Now I'm about to cut the feet out my daughters baby grows cause I can't afford to buy more . But we are not on the lowest wages ? How to people do it ? I just don't understand y in 2013 we are living like this ?

SoftKittyWarmKitty Mon 04-Feb-13 10:49:41

What's wrong with giving and getting tips? hmm

trustissues75 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:50:34

Tortoise - I really don't see the harm in offering suggestions in case there's something the OP hasn't thought about. I've been the working poor and it's utter shit and I just wanted to pass on things I did to save me a bit of money - what's wrong with that?

SomeBear Mon 04-Feb-13 10:51:50

Forgot to add - I have been where you are lovebunny. I will never forget standing in the Co-Op in tears with my last £10 note, not knowing how I was going to get nappies and food for us when DD1 was tiny. Definitely remember cutting the feet off babygrows and DD was wearing vests with snowmen on in August because that was all I could find in the charity shop. I was stupidly jealous of babies dressed head-to-toe in brand new clothes from Next!

elizaregina Mon 04-Feb-13 10:51:59

are there any of these in your local area

http://www.babyandchildrensmarket.co.uk/

I got three baby grows for 50p etc etc etc...boutique outfits for 75p to a pound, booties 20p and one lady said " I really dont want to go home with this lot - if you get some stuff I will give you some for free". We got items out of a "50p each " box, about 6 and she charged us £2.50.

Also car boots! People sell amazing stuff for pennies.

Freecyle has been invaluble to us.

elizaregina Mon 04-Feb-13 10:52:12
TeenyW123 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:52:19

Check out the housing benefit. You should get something if you're struggling. The bedroom tax means you won't get the whole entitlement if you have a 'spare' bedroom, but you should get something. Have a look at the websites 'entitledto' to ' turntous'. They should detail what you're entitled to.

Teeny
P.S. if its budgeting that's your weak point, go to the Mötley Fool website and look at ' Dealing with Debt' or ' Living Below Your Means'. Plenty of help from experts who really know the ropes.

MariusEarlobe Mon 04-Feb-13 11:06:57

No late fees thank goodness mcnew. They just grumble and threaten a bit.

My only bills are food/house/utilities, a few years back we would have been ok.
I have no sky tv, no broadband, broadband loans, I am using internet on my phone, no gadgets, dd doesn't have any consoles or hand helds.

So we aren't being extravagant.

We are only going on holiday this year because we won it and tbh if I could sell it I would!

Moominsarehippos Mon 04-Feb-13 11:13:54

I think the wealth gap is increasing. When I first worked in the City, the big bosses were well paid, didn't get humongus bonuses and actually worked for their keep. I am amazed at the rediculous golden handshakes and bonuses with many many zeros (not in relation to say, a sales target hit or amount of money made for the firm) that I see now. Whereas the big boss would get paid, 3-4 ties his PA, now its more likw ten times (plus all the lovely goodies).

I now see the wives driving very very expensive 4x4s when in the past it would be more modest. They would holiday in France, now its some island in the Pacific that you wouldn't know about if you aren't rich).

Outside the school are mazoratis, lambos and tanks. In my day it wouls be an Austin, mini or TRV for the very fancy. I see sahms piling shpooing trolleys in expensive gourmet shops when there's a sainsbos and tescos just down the road. They are obviously not counting the pennies/paying the bill (as some get food allowances as rekocation packages - they obviously don't eat at home, then?). Utter madness!

We need to look to our grandparents generation. They managed - mended things, cooked leftovers, had less manic and expensive social lives... AND made sure they saved but would never ever face the shame of being in debt or borrowing more than they could pay back.

I shop around. DH says that I am a bit too obsessive but I hate waste and hate the feeling of being ripped off. I love a bargain and am stupidlky proud of myself if I but a tonne of veggies for pennies and prepare / freeze them, or find a great 3 for 2 offer or discount code.

trustissues75 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:14:29

Do you rent or have a mortgage? If you have a mortgage and are interest only you are eligible for HB too. Honestly, I'd at least look into it...even with a spare bedroom you may get something - £20 a week at least pays electricity and part of the gas. Are you eligble for grants etc to improve your insulation on your house? Worth looking into.

Do you have a garden? Could you grow some vegetables?

trustissues75 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:17:30

Sorry, forget what I said regarding help if you're mortgage is interest only - you won't be claiming one of the eligble benefits.

Moominsarehippos Mon 04-Feb-13 11:20:05

I think there's a Frugal February thread here atm. These threads are great!

I make sure that there are some things I spend the money on - food (life is too short for bad food). I but the best ingredients and love cooking. So you've had a crappy day, the gas bill has come in and the kids have been rolling in the mud and trashed their shoes (again). Sitting down to a nice, creative family meal (cooking relaxes me), switch off the telly and have a chat about rubbish (no work, finances etc at the table) really puts life into perspective. Big bowl of homemade stew and bread makes life feel a bit better for a while anyway. We sometimes forget why we get up and bus our asses all day for! Get the kids to have a joke telling or weird recipe competition. Life is hard and sloggish for lots of us. I say a little prayer of gratitude and apologise to my poor, late parents for all they put up with).

yaimee Mon 04-Feb-13 11:28:36

Its horrible we're just the same at the moment, definitely try aldi, its amazing, especially on fresh veg, nappies are good and cheap from there too! What about trying to get a few meals out of one thing like having roast chicken Sunday, noodles with the left over meat on Mon and soup with veg and using the chicken stock on Tues! I would definitely join as many Facebook buying, selling and swapping groups as poss and also keep an eye out for clothes swaps and jumble sales in your local area, also charity shopping etc. Also have a clear out and see if U have anything to eBay or swap and start your own posts on fb saying have this this and this to swap for that that and that! It's shit but keep your chin up, things will improve!

Lonelybunny Mon 04-Feb-13 11:40:21

I'm sure we are cutting back on everything we can , we were a bit naughty the other day and bought DD some socks and some dry flowers to brighten up the place a bit which was silly of us ! But I think y in hell can't we? It's not like I've gone and bought stuff on credit card . I nearly cried the other day cause I got bleach on my trousers so needed to get another pair. Why do we have to worry about such trivial things like clothes . I've found charity shops round here getting expensive too , £4.50 for a pair of kiddies jeans ! But I guess there rents are going up too. We rent from HA at £680 per month so that's nothing compared to what some people pay! I just don't get it . I'm sorry for everyone else struggling too but I guess it's life and we have to carry on but some days I don't even want to get out of bed , for what ? To sit at home freezing waiting for dinner time cause your so blooming hungry ! Those poor single mummies out there I take my hat off to you

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 04-Feb-13 11:44:10

I understand the tips are coming from a good place, but when you've cut back and cut back you rarely want tips, because it feels like people are saying "you're not trying hard enough". It's frustrating.

I mean, I'm not the thread police, and some of these tips are great, I just wanted to acknowledge the OP's frustration with the overall situation - as in, why the hell should it be this damn difficult, when they clearly both work hard? Why can't the working poor sometimes buy their daughter some socks and some cheap dried flowers without feeling 'naughty'? I mean, what the actual fuck is happening in the UK?

MariusEarlobe Mon 04-Feb-13 11:44:14

I know what you mean about clothes lonelybunny, I ended up really shouting at dd the other day because of items ruined and its not her fault I can't afford to replace stuff. Felt awful after.

Lonelybunny Mon 04-Feb-13 11:52:07

Terrible ay ladies

yaimee Mon 04-Feb-13 11:52:25

I don't think anyone means tips to come across like that, just sharing ideas in case someone hasn't thought of something, I've picked up some really useful stuff from theses like this.
I think we would all agree that yes, it is shit being poor, it never leaves your mind, it taints everything and it isn't right that working people are struggling like this, but it would be a very short thread then!

Lonelybunny Mon 04-Feb-13 11:55:15

We have really tried everything now , apart from getting rid of the car but I will need it when I return to work as my job Is a driving job. When weather warns up will deffo be doing car boots again.

Boomerwang Mon 04-Feb-13 12:37:34

I've got billions of baby clothes, some which haven't even been worn. All were given to me by others. I've given them to my boyfriend's brother but I know there's far too much and I could get them back any time. I'd love to give them to people who need them, but there's no way I'm posting to the UK as the postage costs over here are shocking. It cost me nearly £40 to send a photo in a frame and three t-shirts to the UK. Under 2kg. Just... words failed me when I was told the cost.

trustissues75 Mon 04-Feb-13 12:46:08

Oh lonely...it does sound like you've tired everything...seeing as you're with he HA is there no way you can downsize since you're underoccupied? Lower rent....and HB doesn't risk the extra room tax thing (not really up on that new concept)

Madlizzy Mon 04-Feb-13 12:53:52

Snap, and no bloody end in sight. I pray for a lottery win.

mademred Mon 04-Feb-13 12:57:47

All the supermarkets have good sales on their baby clothes.we picked up two babygros for ds for £2, ok so they had reindeer on, but who cares when they go to bed.asda always have something reduced somewhere.and for special occassions, we look in debenhams when they have a sale on kids clothes.although the designer stuff isn't all its cracked up to be, I've had poor qaulity ted baker stuff for baby, prefer asda.we have to sale our car because we can't afford to run it now.can you not look for a different job that suits you better whilst on maternity leave?

elizaregina Mon 04-Feb-13 13:04:19

And I got three baby grows for 50p ( had to pay 1 pound to get in). I came away from baby market with three bags of stuff for a tenner. I had previoulsy gone to mothercare to buy booties and socks with came to £10.50, so I shall be taking them back.

wannabedreams Mon 04-Feb-13 13:08:50

sad it's awful isn't it you would think if you both have jobs and are prepared to work you wouldn't have to struggle so much sad will it be easier when you go back to work OP?

PeachActiviaMinge Mon 04-Feb-13 13:20:21

Sometimes I don't feel we have the right to complain because we're on benefits but right now we're being sanctioned for 4 weeks so having to live off CB and CTC for the month. I'm 29 weeks pregnant I need to buy a cot, bottles and pram at minimum plus the little things like nappies and wipes. It just won't be happening sad and all this because DH had the misfortune to come down with the norovirus and miss an appointment with A4E he tried to tell them but you can't do that when they don't answer or say they'll call back and never do.

I really don't know what to do, DH has been desperatly trying to find a new job since he was made redundant but theres nothing out there. Half the employers don't even bother responding to application forms or CV's. We'll survive somehow and somehow I will get this baby stuff sorted I won't fail my DS like I did DD when we were in the same position when she was tiny. I can't do that again.

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