AIBU to just want to wipe an ass thats not running away from me...?

(29 Posts)
MrsWolowitzerables Fri 01-Feb-13 16:27:53

Once. Just once, It would be great to be able to change one of the twins nappies without being at a steady jogging pace.

On the rare occaision that I manage to stop them from getting on their feet mid-nappy change (by using a hold that looks a bit like I'm shearing a sheep) they squirm and wriggle and invariably manage to wipe all the crap thats on their arse-cheeks all over the shop. Not to mention doing everything in their power to dip their heels or, if they can possibly reach, their fingers in the poo.

Why? AIBU to want them to potty train NOW, either that or learn to change their own stinking nappies?

Pah.

I am laughing so much at "Two arcs of shit across the floor"

Sorry.

1 yr ol;d DS is similarly wriggly at nappy time. My arms ache and i am out of breath just trying to get him dressed or changed. I end up doing it on the edge of the sofa, one leg over him to pin him down and changing him between my legs.

AbbyCat Fri 01-Feb-13 19:21:16

That's what iPhones and cbeebies is for! I used to struggle through pregnancy with this until a friend admitted to using his phone to get his ds dressed. It works a treat- ds will now automatically lie down whenever I fish out my phone, hoping to get his nappy changed!
Love the poo stories though!

BigRedDebby Fri 01-Feb-13 19:18:04

When my DD2 was 6 mths old she had an excremental art session all over the living room carpet and the fire guard. I had just taken off her nappy and left the room to put DD1 in the shower (the bathroom was downstairs). I came back to find that in 30 seconds she had managed to coat herself, the rug and was busy painting the fire guard.
I thought that I may as well put her in the shower as it was running, so walked with her( at arms length ) into the bathroom. My 3 yo saw her sister covered in poo coming towards her and took evasive action by jumping sideways out of the shower, catching the shower curtain and bringing it and the shower rail crashing down and spraying the whole bathroom with water.
Needless to say that is when the postman rang the bell......

Geekster Fri 01-Feb-13 19:05:07

So glad it's not just me that has this problem!

Boomerwang Fri 01-Feb-13 19:00:51

Headfairy!! another brilliant picture in my mind!

Boomerwang Fri 01-Feb-13 18:59:29

Oh god thank you for the fantastic images lechatrouge really brightened up my evening I can tell you :D

My kid turns over on the changing table and bawls at me but no attempts to actually leave the table yet. Good thing as it's about three foot high.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Fri 01-Feb-13 18:58:50

LeChatRouge oh, oh, oh! grin

maddening Fri 01-Feb-13 18:57:45

My friend had a wriggler - she used pull ups

asleb Fri 01-Feb-13 18:38:46

Yanbu, my dc3 is 2 and not interested in the toilet/potty yet either and can be a nightmare with her nappy too!

Once when dc1 was little I walked in his room at night to find him asleep in his bed, no nappy on, and foot prints of shit all over his carpet. He also had shit all over his hands and body (and was fast asleep mind!). Took about half an hour to find the nappy, he had taken it off and thrown it in the clothes washing basket(after playing with it of course!).

BornInACrossFireHurricane Fri 01-Feb-13 18:31:08

My twin boy (20 months) is a nightmare at nappy change (and getting dressed). Always screaming and trying to run away.

Argh. My daughter isn't anywhere near as bad although she is starting to copy her brother have her moments.

Cannot wait until they are toilet trained

HeadFairy Fri 01-Feb-13 18:21:17

I'm not sure it actually changes with potty training. DD clenches so hard I lose fingers when I wipe her arse. Then she runs away, taking my fingers with her.

BiscuitCrumbsInBed Fri 01-Feb-13 18:19:09

I'm sorry lechatrouge and MrsWolowitz but I've just actually cried with laughter reading your posts. No advice here but thank you for the laugh! smile

CrazyMegOfBedlam Fri 01-Feb-13 18:19:05

yep, got my sympathy, ydnbu. After chasing ds2 who'd escaped through the bathroom (ds1 open the door to come in and he spotted his chance to escape) through the kitchen and who was eying up the stairs whilst I swatted at his dirty bum with a wet wipe and was pleading with him 'don't sit down, don't sit down, don't sit down' last night, I would happily got back to the days when he just lay on the changing mat and screamed at me!!

mummysmellsofsick Fri 01-Feb-13 18:12:49

Hahahahaha grin lechatrouge

amazingmumof6 Fri 01-Feb-13 18:11:07

poo on the window while the vicar is watching - I'm crying with laughter! grin very yielding thread!!!!

my sister and I had a "poo-art" session, both in the playpen while mum was cooking in the kitchen.
as the older and wiser child (16 months between us) I took off baby sis's nappy, wiped the poo on her head, playpen & wall, she was rubbing it on the rails and my legs then licking it off her fingers

mum didn't know whether to cry or laugh when she discovered this - or where to start the cleaning process....

Kneel with the child on the ground in front of you, hold the right leg in a vice-like grip between your knees and put your left arm across its chest to pin the child down, with its left ankle/foot in your left hand.

Not that I have any experience with this, of course.

wink

PinkPeanuts Fri 01-Feb-13 18:00:55

Are your twins my DD??

LeChatRouge Fri 01-Feb-13 18:00:47

My twins used to go in the morning, silently dumping before I woke up.

One occasion they took off their dirty nappies (helped each other unstick the tabs I reckon) and put them face down on the carpet by the door. How kind. The only way I could get in the room was forcing the door open creating two arcs of shit across the carpet.

Another time, eldest twin took off his dirty nappy, climbed onto the windowsill and rubbed his pooey arse cheeks across the window. A vicar was visiting the opposite neighbour and witnessed the whole 'artshow' and came to the door to inform me.

PignutSalamander Fri 01-Feb-13 17:59:35

I'm with you on that op! My best friend said to me when dd was new " oh it's such a pleasure to change her nappy, so easy etc etc"
I thought what a weird thing to say.
Dd is 1 now and wow how I miss being able to do a quick lap change.

amazingmumof6 Fri 01-Feb-13 17:50:03

you could then forget about the potty and try the toilet instead, with the kiddy soft seat ring thing on top (can't remember the name)

mine never were a big fan of potty, DS1 couldn't be bothered, he preferred a nappy and went on the toilet when he was 3 - out of daytime nappies in a week.
DS2 was a chubby lad, so the very first time he sit on a potty and did a wee then stood up, he freaked out coz the potty got stuck on his bottom, with wee trickling down his leg!
he was sobbing as he tried to shake it off and the next time he saw a potty he screamed, so that was the end of it.

DS3, DS4 and DS5 just copied the others, so not much effort was required from me.

other ideas - straight jacket, tie hands to radiator, sit on them, sedation? grin

MrsWolowitzerables Fri 01-Feb-13 16:48:27

grin

Amazing It's almost a shame wiping me own ass, its no challenge - I'm so used to having to wrestle with buttocks to get any wiping completed.

They're 2 so really should be getting on with the potty training but when I've tried there been no success at all. Only an "uh-oh, oh dear" when they've curled one out on the floor or are happily splashing in a puddle of wee. Pesky little people!

MarianneM Fri 01-Feb-13 16:45:33

Mumsnet is really delivering today.

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

YANBU - I feel your pain.

amazingmumof6 Fri 01-Feb-13 16:41:01

how old are they? some people suggest you can start potty training at 9 months, so YANBU

changing their own nappies - yes that would be ideal!grin

Haha but I dunno, I would not want to be wiping a big arse!!!

amazingmumof6 Fri 01-Feb-13 16:37:40

if you want to wipe an ass that's not running away from you - there's always your own! grin

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