AIBU to be a bit hmmm at my friend's attitude to local children?

[Twiceover]

Friend came over yesterday with her DD who is 3. She was telling me about an incident at playgroup where a "chavvy boy" had hit her DD. Obviously not very nice to be hit at playgroup but then she told me that she'd had a long chat with her DD and warned her only to talk to "nice" children. Apparently the group is mostly nice but there are some undesirables creeping in?! She also said at least she won't have to mix with children like this at school as she is sending her private.

Each to their own and all that but I was a bit taken aback by her attitude. Such a relief that her pfb won't have to associate with hoi polloi, the horror

[NeedlesCuties]

YANBU.

I have some relations like that. Drives me barmy!

[usualsuspect]

She sounds like a twat.

[cantspel]

Do nice children wear a special badge to identify them?

[Sugarice]

How does she tell who are nice and who aren't

Snotty mare!

[WorraLiberty]

You told her she's being a snobbish twat, I take it?

[JustGiveMeFiveMinutes]

What a stupid bitch. There are obnoxious children is all walks of life

[germyrabbit]

she sounds undesirable herself

[tittytittyhanghang]

YANBU. Wonders how she would react to my ds (2) who looks all lovely and nice, but is really riff raff

[ratspeaker]

Are right, so they don't have kids that hit at private school?

I suppose it will be better class of bullying

[singingsoprano]

YANBU! Silly woman.

[Chandon]

I have a friend who talks like this.

She says you can tell by name if they re "nice", aparently Jasper, Oscar, Mathilda, Jemima and Charlotte are the ones to mix with. Whereas Kayleigh, Kyle, Tyler and Tyrone are best avoided. She says it was wonderful that the children self-segregate at school.

I just laughed at her. She is training to be a teacher too! it will be funny to see how that will go. People like this DO exist.

[AmberSocks]

she doesnt sound very nice.

[PatButchersEarring]

Confession: I used to think along those lines...except I'd probably have at least attempted to phrase it in a slightly more diplomatic way.

..that was until I realised that bad parenting and bad behaviour in children crosses the class divide. The most trouble I and my DD (3) have had with another child's behaviour emanated from the wealthiest, poshest family I know.

Ironically, this family moved away from a 'chav' area to avoid badly behaved children/bad parenting...and yet, this is the family that everyone else now avoids for exactly that reason.

[motherinferior]

Look on the bright side. All the lovely normal kids will be spared her child.

[Levantine]

She sounds like a fucking horrible snob.

[lazybastard]

Ah so all children of rich people are angels? Guess my DC are brats then.

[Kione]

I babysat two kids in a posh familt, the father was a big important dermatologyst (sorry if I didnt spell that right) goinf everywhere to talk in conferences and such, and the mother paid me so she could go to the tennis club twice a week. DD, 7 was ok although obe thay she askwd me if I knew the where rich... DS at 11 spat at me, threw his rucksac at me at rhe school gate and told me I was paid to carry it. Their parents never told them off. I lasted two weeks and I onky did two days a week! I kniw mych better behaved "chav"s!!

[Kione]

sorry the spelling, touch phone

[FrustratedSycamoresRocks]

I'm surprised that if she feels this strongly her dd isn't already I'm a pre-prep nursery.

[countrykitten]

Teachers definitely do associate certain behaviours with certain names tbh - it is something I have come across a great deal. The general view would be that an Emily would be much nicer to teach than a Kaylee or a Henry would be nicer than a Darren - not always the case I am sure but it is often joked about in staff rooms. Not one of the things that the profession should be most proud of....

[FanFuckingTastic]

I have encouraged my DS away from another child before, but in the main it was because he was becoming a bad influence and my son was suffering for it. He still lists him as a friend but doesn't ask him to come round any more, which I am glad about. I know it sounds stupid, especially as I have a child with special needs myself, however there's only so much tolerance I could have and this boy (and his mother) pushed me past that.

Other than that, I don't care who my children play with. I encourage them to be kind and play with everyone, even if some children don't seem to be played with very often, because maybe they are lonely and need a good friend like him.

[MsAkimbo]

Yanbu. I used to work in childcare and my mother used to get very anxious when I would work in certain neighbourhoods. Consequently, the most gracious children I worked with were the ones considered the most "troubled."

Not the standard everywhere I know, but children are little people, and some people are dicks. Backgrounds are irrelevant.

[ilovesooty]

And you describe her as a friend?

[Twiceover]

She is generally a lovely person which is why I was so surprised. Her DD is about to start at a pre-prep nursery this month so it will be interesting to see if the other children there live up to her standards.

Lol at the idea of "nice" children at playgroup wearing badges! But it just struck me as such an odd thing to say to a child.

[maninawomansworld]

Hmm... don't be so quick to condem her.
Some kids ARE horrid little 'chavs' (for want of a better word. No fault of their own mind, it's the parents fault but they are still ill disciplined little horrors as we all know kids learn off their peers so is she so wrong to want to keep her child away from them?
Don't get me wrong some 'posh' kids can be equally as horrible and I'd keep mine away from them too. Forget the distinctions of class or wathever, there are just some kids that you really don't want yours mixing with.