Mumsnet Talk

Weird, what's wrong with gran? Mim does sound quite like mum I think.

My MIL has decided on grandmum and announced it on Christmas Day. DD is 4months old. She will make up her own mind but I will distract her from calling her grandmum

It sounds like she's not yet ready to be a grandparent. If she spends enough time with dc when they are little they will make up their own name for her (probably a mispronunciation of whatever you call her). My dc started calling DH darling at one point!! I think she sounds ridiculous and very sad to be missing out on being called granny (or similar) is a bit like teaching your dc your name instead of mum. YANBU but I think it will be fine without having to make an issue around it.

I don't see Gran as being old, I like Gran.

My mil insisted on Nana because it is aparently young

I do agree that your child will decide amd out of your mil's earshot you can discourage mim.

Don't let this spoil your enjoyment of being pregnant and having your own snuggly newborn

It was a while ago but I'm sure my mil suggested something similar and I remember feeling just like you - too close to sounding like mum.
Greetings cards changed all that…subtly point out one day that birthday and Christmas cards have either, Grandma, Granny, Nanny or Nana. It worked like an absolute dream when I suggested how exciting her first card would be from a grandchild which had her "name" on it!!

My sons favourite cuddly bear is called Mim.

I actually had a fall out with mum over the very same thing. Can't believe there are two of these knocking about.

At first she wanted to be Mimaw like in the Deep South. Only she wanted it to be pronounced. Me-MA like some say in the north east for our mothers. Veto.

She then wanted to be Mim, like the marvellous Madam Mim. I asked her why she kept picking things that were like Mum and she flipped. Sad she was sick of me rubbishing all her ideas and that she had few choices because if "all the other Nana's.." (tbf both mine and DH Nans are alive and I've a step mum so there are quite a few...)

I won't reveal what she finally called herself as it would reveal me straight away if any one knows us. Suffice to say it isn't a normal gran name and doesn't sound anything like mum.

My mil insisted on Nana because it is aparently young

I don't get her reasoning, at all! Not least because I get a mental picture of that sodding "Knitted By Nanas" advert in which is it fair to say none of the Nanas in question were exactly spring chickens.

I don't really understand all these grandmothers who insist on being weirdly labelled. I'm a Nanny and proud of it.

My MIL decided the name she wanted to be called. Then the DGC decided what totally different name to call her. She has 3 sets of DGC they all call her something different. I don't think she minds at all. She's just thrilled at being a GM.

I think she was just super excited with the first grandchild she kind of forgot what it is like to have a young child and came up with lots of silly suggestions about different things. She's great though, it all comes from a good place.

I think Nana sounds ancient. I hate it! When I knew I was going to be a grandmother I thought I was far too young to be one. I thought up all kinds of names to try to prevent the dreaded gran word. I was actually quite creative - to the point of being ridiculous. What, you may ask, did I end up with?

I'm called Granny. I suppose when they get older they may adapt it to Gran.

Once grandchildren are actually here, in my opinion anyway, they can call you whatever the like and you think it's wonderful.

Your title made me chuckle Op because I immediately started singing the 'Mad madam Mim!' song from the Disney sword in the stone film - watch it and everytime you will call to mind a dumpy, frazzled, crazy, old witch that turns herself into a dragon- I don't think that is a loving and flattering description of anyone, let alone someone as important as a nana.

While I don't think yabu, particularly as you have more insight into her motives, I wouldn't worry. I agree with pps call her your preferred name when you are talking about her, your dc will soon have chosen for both of you anyway. Pick your battles - start practicing now, be firm but polite, set your boundaries and stick to them. Good fences make good neighbours works just as well as good boundaries make for smoother relationships - don't say nothing but be miffed and seethe about it, it uses your energy and doesn't alter the slightly pushy behaviour at all. Congratulations, look forward to the lovely things to come - you can't always tell what changes will occur anyway when the baby actually arrives. The cure here for our silly nana with pregnancy induced 'everything' crisis was the baby.

YANBU OP, it's very twee.

YANBU.

Years ago when my older sibling's DCs were born, my DM chose the name 'Grammie', which is quite sweet. Our DC also have a Nonni and a Grandma.

One of my dear friend's DD ended up calling her granmother 'Honey' - she'd cottoned on to what the grandfather called his wife! 12 or 13 years and many more grandchildren later, it's firmly stuck.

It's not as bad as the poster whose mother wanted GC to call her groin murder!

My niece calls her milk 'mim'.

My MIL decided on "Nanna" before DS was born and made a massive fuss about it. I couldn't give a stuff, but then one of DS's first words was "nana" meaning banana, so she got called "Nanna banana" for a while until she got a bit upset about it But even now DS gets confused between "Nanna" and "banana" and MIL looks a bit of a twat for insisting on the name.

So my advice would be let her cause herself her own hassle - if she insists on "Mim" then let her teach it and bear the consequences! Chances are your DC will just be a bit confused and end up not calling her anything or coming up with something else.

Let the baby decide. A little girl I know in her early attempts to say 'Grandma' said 'Gaga' and it stuck.

I asked my Mum and MIL what they wanted to be called. MIL became Nana (which I loathe but she loved, and meh, her call) but my Mum didn't want anything that made her sound old, bless. We settled on Granny Liz (which she didn't much like) and over time the children changed it to Grizzly. It has stuck, she almost likes it now.

I guess the moral is: be careful what you wish for.

As an aside I have female friends who refer to their lady bits as Mims, so maybe that could be worth mentioning?

I think Grandparents should have a say in what they want to be called, but ultimately the children will choose (if you let them, nay, encourage them!)

nana and nanny is more youthful then gran

My friend down south calls her Granny Glam-mar because she is glam!

May be worth mentioning in passing that all cards etc say nan, nana, grandma etc, as do a lot of keepsake type gifts, my dc call their grandads 'gramps' and 'pops' and ds does ask why we get a grandad card for pop, if that makes sense??

A very minor thing, but you would never find a card with mim on it!

Don't sweat on the little stuff, it's a distraction and I don't think this is really worth a great deal more than a shrug, maybe an eye roll at a push.

I've got the same thing going on with my dad at the minute, he wants to be called Taid (welsh) and frankly I think it's a bit naff (like picking your own nickname) but DD will call him whatever she's taught, much the same as whatever we teach her to call a post box, a ball or dog muck.

OP, do what my sister did when her MIL wanted to be called 'MomMom' <vom> - she just kept referring to her as Granny to the baby, and when MIL got annoyed, she said she kept forgetting to say MomMom as everyone else is called some variant on Gran, so it was an unconscious thing, etc., etc. The one time her MIL was really nasty about it, my sister yelled back "For god's sake, woman, do you not think I have enough on my plate without having to remember some stupid name you've made up for yourself? Give me a break!". Perhaps not ideal, but she was Gran from then on and still is

Just keep calling her Grandma or whatever and pretend you keep forgetting the Mim nonsense.

Nanny Mim sounds good to me.

The only Mim Grandmother I know was a Miriam.

I agree that Dcs say their own things. I have a friend whose MIL is 'Sue', nicknamed 'Sukie'. She insisted that she be called 'Nanny Sukie'.

Of course the little ones called her (in innocence) 'nanny sucky' and it has stuck.