not be really happy about other kids telling me my DS "has done well today"?

(68 Posts)
DiamondDoris Thu 31-Jan-13 18:16:56

My DS has learning disablities, speech and language problems and asd traits. He's 6, tiny for his age. I know his classmates feel protective towards him but I feel a bit cheesed off when other 6 or 7 year olds think it's their job to judge how well he's done in class. Surely that's the job of the teachers and TAs? He spends 19 hours with the TAs and SEN TAs anyway. The kids don't want to be his friend, he never gets invited to parties or playdates, plays by himself at playtime - he just seems to be molly-coddled by his peers.

DiamondDoris Thu 31-Jan-13 22:10:20

Zavi - he's getting a statement - I think the next step will be a special school.

MissBetseyTrotwood Thu 31-Jan-13 22:10:28

My DS1 is a footie hater too. He 'doesn't like the pushing and shouting and kicking.' He's fanatical about Lego though. Shall we hook them up aldiwhore ? grin

MissBetseyTrotwood Thu 31-Jan-13 22:11:57

X posts OP. Well done on the statement. smile

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 31-Jan-13 22:13:48

MisBetsey, and aldi

Yes, Ds1 is also lego, hates football, loves hornby. Can he join? He's a bloody great kid, even though many of his peers don't appreciate him.

Summerblaze Thu 31-Jan-13 22:16:25

Zavi. Have a biscuit.

nailak Thu 31-Jan-13 23:07:03

there is a child in my dd2s nursery with behaviour issues they are 3/4 and when my 2 year old does something wrong dd2 often tells me, dont worry mummy, he is still learning, just like x,

the teacher says the whole class seem to be quite protective of this boy when i mentioned my dd2 was always mentioning him.

Zavi Fri 01-Feb-13 13:35:41

Good luck Diamond.

With specialist teaching, in a setting that is appropriate to your son's specific needs and abilities, I wouldn't be surprised if you see him flourish - including socially.

Mainstream schooling was not designed for children with special needs and, from what i've seen, despite a willingness to be inclusive by offering additional support, often fails them.

I'd be very surprised if your son was excluded/treated differently to the same extent as he is now by his peers in a special school.

elliejjtiny Fri 01-Feb-13 14:00:04

My DS2 has physical disabilities and the other children in his class tend to mother him, I think it's quite sweet. DS1 also tends to mother him at school, including telling DS2's teacher when she isn't looking after DS2 to the standard DS1 thinks is right. I think that's quite swweet as well although I don't think DS2's teacher agrees grin

FightingForSurvival Fri 01-Feb-13 14:30:25

Aw it's quite sweet really. My worst obeisance a mum who lives near me and she has chats with her son about mine and reports back to me. Wtf lol. I avoid her much as I can!

FightingForSurvival Fri 01-Feb-13 14:31:00

I have no idea what an obeisance is!

mathsconundrum Fri 01-Feb-13 14:36:02

These are the type of children who'd leave someone out but make a big show of taking them to the teacher if they were injured. Small children can be patronising and smug too.

Songbird Fri 01-Feb-13 14:42:48

I can totally understand where you're coming from, but it is quite sweet DiamondDoris. The children haven't necessarily 'made a judgement' about his work and achievements, they might just have been repeating what the teacher said in class.

lougle Fri 01-Feb-13 15:03:40

I wouldn't have phrased it in the way Zavi has, and I would defend every parent's right for a child to be educated in a MS school, but my heart sang when you said Special School is the next step, DiamondDorris!

My DD1 goes to SS. She is 7. She's probably the most able child in her class. She is more able than many in the school who are in higher years, as she has Moderate Learning Difficulties and her school caters from PMLD-MLD.

The truth is, "However, he occupies the same place on the social hierarchy of the classroom as the rest of the children" just isn't true, because his needs and developmental delays place him in a different zone to the other children, no matter what we would like to think.

In Special School, all the children have needs. DD1 has articulation problems, she has general needs. She's continent by day. Someone else at her school may have perfect speech but be incontinent by day.

The bizarre thing, is that all the children are just who they are there. DD1 says 'oh yea, Wobbie uses signs to talk. Tameron uses words....' Children with SN aren't silly, they just know that 'this is the way this is' and the needs are inconsequential to their day.

At SS my child is independently collecting a register from the office and returning to her classroom. The site is secure, they have CCTV - she can't get lost and she can't escape. At MS she would need a TA by her side, because the site isn't secure.

nailak Fri 01-Feb-13 15:06:12

Others experiences are different though. Not all kids do better in special schools.

MrsDeVere Fri 01-Feb-13 15:11:59

It is nonsense to suggest all children to better in SNS.
My son is doing beautifully in a SNS but he could have stayed in MS with the right support.

There is absolutely no reason for him to be SNS apart from the fact I got sick of trying to get him properly supported.

He flourishes in a SNS because it has small classes and they are nurturing.

There are no magic and mysterious teaching tricks or special equipment.

The children are just children.

OP. I understand why you feel cheesed off. I am sure they are being kind but I would be a bit hmm too.

Good luck with the statement.

nailak Fri 01-Feb-13 15:20:03

Why would a ms site not be secure? That is strange!

I have a good friend whose child was in SS, and was not progressing, as soon as he moved to ms within 2 weeks he was reading, socialising, talking etc. she found in SS they met his reluctance to talk by using sign, and didn't really encourage him, did not meet his needs.

MrsDeVere Fri 01-Feb-13 16:10:44

I am sorry Lougle I hadn't read your post when I posted.
Your DD's sounds a lot like my DS and I a very happy that he is in SNS.
BUT what Zavi appears to be saying sounds very different from what you seem to be saying.

SNS should not exist. I am not anti SNS (that might sound weird) but kids should be educated together.

I think the SNS model is far superior to the MS model. If all MS followed it we would not need SNS.

MissBetseyTrotwood Fri 01-Feb-13 20:17:26

Ds1 is also lego, hates football, loves hornby. Can he join? He's a bloody great kid, even though many of his peers don't appreciate him.

Yes, let's start a club! smile

kids should be educated together.

And this ^ exactly. And until they are, and it's done properly, the kind of ignorance that makes my DS's life harder than it is already will continue to exist.

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