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To not have a birthday party for my 3yr old ?

(33 Posts)
JingleUpTheHighway Tue 29-Jan-13 16:39:47

Dd1 is turning 3 next week .

MIL has just called to ask what the arrangements are for her birthday party and wondering if I want her to bring any food to the venue confused .

She was shocked when I said we hadn't arranged anything and will probably have a birthday tea that she is welcome to come to .

I then got a rant of how dd is missing out and I need to have a party just like her friends son who turned 3 yesterday . Apparently I could invite all of her toddler group friends .

Firstly , my two DDs are the only children on my side of the family . DH has a 2.5yr old niece .

All our friends are either childless or have kids in their teens.

I just don't see the point in spending over £100 on a soft play venue or whatever for a 3 yr old - she will never see her toddler friends again when she starts nursery in a few months .

We are planning a nice day out somewhere then a birthday tea.

AIBU ?? Really ??

edwinbear Tue 29-Jan-13 21:22:49

YADNBU. When DS was 3 we went swimming with his 2 cousins, followed by McDonalds (a very rare treat) and a cake. It was a fantastic day, he still talks about it 6 months later.

Zappo Tue 29-Jan-13 21:27:24

My DD is 5. We have not had a birthday party that includes non family members yet. DD is fine with this. She has only been to about 3 birthday parties and in my experience there were a lot of bored children running up and down not sure what to do with themselves and a lot of parents standing round not knowing what to do either.

YADNBU My dd was 3 last week and we did have a party, but she goes to pre-school with the children she will eventually go to school with and has childminder where she sees the other children daily and I am friends with a lot of the mums who I have known since we all went to baby clinic together so it was lovely to catch up with them while the children ran riot at the play centre. I had 14 kids there and they all loved it and she'd been asking to have a birthday party for months.

If your LO isn't bothered, you don't have kids in the family and he doesn't have friends I really wouldn't do it. Celebrate in the way you and your child will enjoy the most and stuff what anyone else thinks.

LaLake Fri 01-Feb-13 14:07:15

Well halleflippingluja! I have been worrying about this very same thing as my DD is turning 3 very soon, but now I've read all your posts I can happily fling all party ideas out the window and just get the Grands over again. Cake and presents get her all excited anyway so that's enough. And balloons, which she loves although they mysteriously don't last long in our house (I pop them when she's in bed - evil mother. But they are a trip hazard when you're carrying another baby!) I will also take some fairy cakes to her nursery for snack time so she feels she's had a bit of a fuss made of her with her 'friends'.

Phew. I feel much better now. Thank you MNers xx

CatsRule Fri 01-Feb-13 14:34:32

Yanbu.

Your dd won't know to care if she has a party or not. All she will care about is getting your attention.

Hence the reason inlaws that I am not having a party for my ds's 1st birthday...he will be 1 and will not care as long as he has attentiin from dh and I, which he happily gets everyday.

quesadilla Fri 01-Feb-13 14:40:39

YANBU. I think parties below the age of about 4/5 are a bit of a waste of time and money. The kids inevitably get too het up and over-excited to enjoy things and don't really understand what its all about before that point.
In any case its none of your MIL's business. I don't know what your relationship with her is like; in your place I'd be tempted to tell her to get her sticky beak out of your domestic arrangements.

feetheart Fri 01-Feb-13 14:52:55

Day out and birthday tea is a lovely idea - your DD still gets to be the centre of attention in a way that doesn't involve hassle, stress, noise, over-excited 3-year olds and vast expense. No brainer really in my book.
Disclaimer - I am seen by my friends as a hard-hearted so-and-so as I told my two that they could have a party at 5 and 10 and then hope that 18 is the next one smile DD is 10 this year and doesn't want a party, just a few friends for a sleepover, DS is 7 and has already planned his 10th hmm
Go with your instinct, I hope you all have a lovely time.

lesmisfan Fri 01-Feb-13 19:21:02

My DS isn't having one, he will have his siblings and cousins over for tea and will have a cake and a balloon on his chair and will sing happy birthday. Perfect.

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