My DS is 16 and wants to lean to dive. He says he has found a club for beginners of his age and really wants to learn. He is quite shy and has not had many hobbies. The only problem is that the lessons would last from 4 - 6 pm on a Sunday. The centre is miles away in the city and I am not prepared to drive so he would have to go on the train. I am worried that something bad would happen to him he is 16 but I don't think as a parent I should let him travel far about an hours journey on the train at them times. It would not affect his school work but you don't know who lurks about today. He is really shy and feel guilty for not letting him do this and it is not expensive either. Am I being unreasonable stopping him?
Oh please let him go OP. 
My DS was incredibly shy and friendless. I loved it when he found something he really wanted to do (scuba and karate). these two little hobbies have been a lifeline when he went to uni, otherwise he'd have been in his room the whole time.
exoticfruits
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:21:07
You must know that YABU - no wonder he is shy and scared of doing things! He is old enough to be married so I am sure he can catch a train! It really isn't good for him to wrap him in cotton wool and make him think that terrible things will befall him without mother!
honey I suspect op thinks that being skinny, he will be more of a target.
I can see that, but still, no reason to stay at home.
YABU - if you are that bothered about the train journey then drive him. I doubt that you ever stop worrying about your DC, but you have to live with that and let him get on with his life without your fears showing enough to curb his experiences (within obvious limits).
WorraLiberty
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:22:51
Why has he never made journeys on his own when he's 16? 
Is this the result of bubble wrapping?
He's a young man for goodness sake.
My Dd would love to dive but there are no clubs near by that is easy to get to.
At 16 my Ds now 17 walked to my mum's 70 miles away and went on holiday for a week camping with his gf. He also had two jobs.
Its brilliant that he wants to do it himself.
Pourquoimoi
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:23:46
You are being ridiculously unreasonable and unsupportive of your son.
Why not support him a bit whilst he's still at home, why aren't you willing to drive him?
Your poor DS.
I feel quite sorry for him.
He has few hobbies, yet you won't drive him to this?
weegiemum
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:24:22
Yabu. My dd1 is 13 next week and commutes by 2 buses right across Glasgow every day, plus gets the bus to guides at 6.30 pm. It's done her confidence and self esteem no end of good. Takes about an hour each way.
Your ds has shown initiative and interest and tracked down a club himself - well done him!
At 16, I was taking 2 trains from Kings Cross to Yorkshire and a sunday evening bus back to school. Without mobile phones.
Also learnt to scuba dive. Diving from a board looks scary but that's just my opinion.
I think he'd have a great time and prepare him for the world.
WorraLiberty
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:25:39
Even driving him is a ridiculous idea
It's an hour on a train in the evening
How does the OP think everyone else manages?
honeytea
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:25:46
I think you need to address him not having made any journies by himself right now because it is not great to be making his first solo journy at 16 but if you don't encourage him he might still be unable to travel alone at 26 or 46.
Knowing quite a few 16s I think many of them didn't do masses outside the home before 16, but this is the time when they start to want to.
You need to let him.
exoticfruits
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:26:06
She doesn't need to drive him - he can manage a train journey!
All good practise for going away from home.
YABVU, give him some freedom to go and a mobile phone & pocket change if you're worried!
As others have said, in two years he could be in a student house or a hostel on the other side of the world I was hostelling in Scotland when I was 16 in 2006
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:27:48
Yes, YABU. I understand that you worry, I have a 20yr old DS with Asperger's, I worry about him but, you have to let go.
5madthings
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:27:57
Why wouldn't you let him?! My 13y old would be quite capable of an hours train journey to go to a club to participate in a hobby he wanted to.
tigerdriverII
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:28:26
Obviously a joke thread. 2/10 OP
honeytea
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:29:12
I'd go as far as to say he should be in a student house or a hostel on the other side of the world. What else if he going to do? sit at home with his mum watching tv on a sunday because public transport is too scary.
Well he wants to learn then join a proper club.
scubastevie
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:32:53
Did anyone else read it as learn to drive? Not dive? Which is quite funny considering my username 
ladymariner
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:33:22
YABVVU......what a crock of shit. He's shy, doesn't get out much, has finally asked to do something and you won't let him??? And what's with the refusing to drive him? You're coming across as a really nasty piece of work....
Whoknowswhocares
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:34:42
Way, way too over protective! He is going at 4pm on a Sunday fgs! Not 4am for a piss up and clubbing!
WorraLiberty
Sun 27-Jan-13 22:34:44
scubastevie Yes!
Though sadly I'm wondering if he'll be allowed to do that next year.
