ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
to not understand why so many people are 'proud' of babies rolling over, crawling, walking etc?(285 Posts)
Unimportant bollocks I know, but humor me
I have a 3yo DD. Lately I'm noticing more and more people on facebook and in general conversation going on about how very proud they are that "DS rolled over" or "DD crawled"
As for toileting
I've always felt that pride is an ugly thing and hand on heart I have never been proud of DD Crawling, walking or taking a shit. I mean, these are human bodily functions and surely no reflection on your offspring's intelligence or your capability as a parent? So what's to be proud of?
Sure - when DD is a little older and does something for someone else of her own volition as an act of kindness, then yes, I might be proud of that. If she helps people and achieves happiness for herself and others then I might also be proud of her for that. But rolling? Nah.
Am I being a twat?
I've always felt that pride is an ugly thing and hand on heart I have never been proud of DD
^ You did say that so whats your issue with Lockets post? Are you allowed to express your feelings about our pride for our children but we aren't supposed to comment on your lack of pride, no?
YABU. Dc3 is one and I'm still ridiculously proud of her achievements, even though I've seen it all before and I'm aware nearly all children reach these milestones. It's part of the joy of having a very young child.
What makes me gag is people posting older children's achievements ie "Tilly was voted class monitor again and Jasper has passed his grade 2 tuba with a high merit."
That's boasting imo, rather than sharing excitement at a babies natural development.
That isn't my entire sentence FFS
hand on heart I have never been proud of DD Crawling, walking or taking a shit
That's the full sentence - quit with the misquotes.
For fear of also having a new one ripped, I actually agree with the OP on both points. I'll use a recent FB update from a friend to illustrate:
'DS ate mashed carrot on his four month birthday! Proud mummy and daddy!'
Regarding FB update about PFB - as this thread has illustrated, some people find these kinds of updates irritating, others like them. Each to their own - I'm in the former category.
But why 'proud'? In this instance, they strapped a baby incapable of resisting into his highchair and pushed food into his mouth which he (miraculously at four months old) didn't spit out. Pleased, excited, thrilled, captivated - yes, yes, yes, yes and more. But proud? Why?
I was over the moon when DS rolled, sat up etc - thrilled, texted immediate family, slightly relieved that he did them 'on schedule' (I used to work in SN), told him how lovely he was, showered him with kisses and cuddles in my joy...but pride? Being proud of something suggests to me that a certain level of conscientious effort, sacrifice or above-and-beyond commitment was required. Normal levels of infant perseverance biologically required to meet milestones elicits joy, anticipation and many other positive emotions on my part, but I don't feel that 'pride' is the appropriate term.
Maybe you and I just have an off-the-beaten-track definition of 'pride' OP <shrugs>
Fb is showboating. It's all very over the top. Every new baby that's on there gets comments like "stunning" "amazing" "most beautiful thing I've e er seen" etc etc. it's all a bit ott.
Similarly people need to get a grip about minor achievements. I was glad when ds met his milestones but not really proud. They were things I assumed he'd do because most children do them. Had he not, I'd have been worried. So yes, I was pleased and thankful but not really proud.
I am proud of him for things that are specific to him but I don't put it on fb. I had a friend put a comment on the photo of her eight week old daughter stating that her daughter had "advanced head control" and was already grasping things. She followed up by saying she expected her daughter would be an early walker.
It's things like that that irritate me, although I guess they are harmless. I just can't really understand it. Anyone that describes a small baby as advanced gets on my nerves.
So I think in general yanbu to not want to read about it but the parents arent bu to be proud I guess.
Does it really matter though op? Yes it's a bit irritating especially as of course my children are the best in the world but so what!
It's the parents who neglect, are cruel or don't give a shit that worry me.
I always feel really proud that when my DS has a shit he feels the need to coax it out in a really loud voice even when in public loos e.g. COME OUT POO COME ON< COME OUT grunt grunt grunt
I feel like people are misunderstanding the meaning of 'Pride'. Pride is not necessarily attributed to oneself. Feeling pride in something your child does (or indeed in anything another person does) is not the same as being smug or self-congratulatory.
I was and am proud of all DD's achievements, including rolling, crawling etc. Some of these I posted on FB. Some of my friends post achievements that their DCs have reached. I don't find this annoying.
As someone said previously, FB is full of people sharing ridiculous aspects of their life, such as what they had for dinner or when they last did a poo. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Suck it up, OP. I think you're being unreasonable. Although I'm not sure you quite deserve the level of flaming on this thread.
Also some of the updates about DCs are incredibly funny. I loved the 'where willy' one above.
Also my daughter is of course the most ridiculously beautiful girl in the world (which I do not take credit for) so I feel, like Mrs De Vere, that it is my duty to share her beauty with the world
Altinkum, I'm in the same boat with family on the other side of the world. I don't go overboard with development updates but I post a lot about my kid because I know about half my audience would rather hear about him than any other banalities about me and my non-kid life.
Those who don't use Facebook - food for you, you can join those who delight in talking about how they don't watch TV because it's 'all crap' in my own personal psueuds' corner. It's a platform, the content varies with who your friends are. If your friends are banal and crap, that's hardly the platform's fault.
And those who do use FB but find this stuff self-absorbed and even narcissistic - don't you find at least a good proportion of FB posts are at least a wee bit like that, whether about kids or not? Some of it's interesting to me, some not. Some people run brilliant social campaigns, others post pictures of food they're cooking. But ultimately it's a place with a big 'let me tell you what I'm thinking/doing' as its reason for existing. Just don't get the angst when people seem surprised to find FB posts can seem self-absorbed.
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