AIBU to be quietly pissed off with a woman taking up a buggy space with her "reborn" doll?

(162 Posts)
VinegarDrinker Sat 26-Jan-13 21:31:53

First up, I fully accept that this woman may well have psychological issues. And there is NO WAY I would say anything out loud.

And people are welcome to whatever hobbies they enjoy, and if that involves buying big expensive travel systems for your doll then be my guest.

But taking up a buggy space on a busy bus/train? AIBU to think this is taking your hobby a tiny bit too far?

MrsMushroom Sun 27-Jan-13 00:31:41

My friend regularly refuses to meet the eye of the woman who carries her doll onto the bus in her arms and looks around expectantly for someone to offer her a seat!

garlicblocks Sun 27-Jan-13 00:33:15

I had to look it up, too. My god, they're lifelike, aren't they? shock I definitely suffered from the uncanny valley effect, just looking at the pictures! Mind you, Cabbage Patch dolls freak me out as well so I'm clearly way off target market.

Anyways ... I sympathise, OP, but YABU. She had a buggy. She put it in a buggy space. That's it.

garlicblocks Sun 27-Jan-13 00:45:06

Hahahahah! Look at these!

Bella88 Sun 27-Jan-13 01:37:39

Poor cow has failed at life and if her dolly provides her with a bit of comfort who are we to denigrate that.

Instead of getting irritated, count your blessings that you have a real life child and don't have to play make believe.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 27-Jan-13 02:08:41

This whole reborn doll stuff freaks me out a bit if I'm honest. It's probably because I don't understand the needs of the people who have them.

Icelollycraving Sun 27-Jan-13 02:33:25

Whilst it is understandable to want that space,count your blessings you have an actual baby which is clearly what she wants sad
I have a customer who carries a baby sized kind of teddy. It's hard to describe,at first glance I always think it's a baby in an outfit with ears, it freaks me out a bit as I always think 'is there a baby in there?' The face is turned to her & she carries it if it's the most precious thing,like you would a baby. It is always in exactly the same position & doesn't move. She speaks very confidently,her dh/dp is always with her. I always feel quietly unsettled after seeing them.

LostWithoutDom Sun 27-Jan-13 03:25:54

Some of these comments make me so sad. As most seem to be having a laugh at her expense.

For the people that don't understand you should watch the documentary on them.

One woman always wanted children and was unable to have any.

Another was a Grandma, she looked after her Grandson all the time and then he moved to Australia. She missed out on him growing up and it created a huge void in her life. She had a doll made to look like her Grandson when he was a baby.

You don't have to 'get it'. But at least show some empathy to people that are sometimes using reborns as a coping method.

Stinkyminkymoo Sun 27-Jan-13 04:08:03

I know of a woman who would bring all her stuffed toys into a tea shop in a dept store and sit them all on the bench and 'feed' them whilst having tea.

I commented to my sister (who was the store manager) about it being a bit weird and she told me all her children had died in a house fire & she never got over losing all her babies. The staff all knew and let her get on with it.

Made be feel so sad and extremely judgemental . You just never know the background to these things. hmm

retrocutie Sun 27-Jan-13 04:21:09

This thread is both hilarious - and sad sad

Hesterton Sun 27-Jan-13 05:44:58

LostwithoutDom I agree with you.

Each to her own.

And OP, YABU for going to Stratford Westfield which is one of the most utterly depressing places on the planet.

bringnbuy Sun 27-Jan-13 06:14:01

right on lost, you got it in a nutshell. hesterton i live in east london and CONSTANTLY get 'have you been to westfield*. NO I BLOODY HAVEN'T. i imagine it to be how you have described. would rather stick pins in my eyes smile

Hesterton Sun 27-Jan-13 06:30:47

I work nearby, and I find it soul destroying! I quite like the old Stratford Mall with it's scruffy shops and mad stalls though and stay loyal to that. Just find the Westfield a characterless 21st century temple to stuff. Lots of lots of really expensive bland stuff and hoards of people just walking up and down, up and down. No independent shops, or hardly any. Even the food hall is grimly similar to a motorway service station. Actually, the whole place is like one big, vile service station.

VinegarDrinker Sun 27-Jan-13 07:02:35

Hah, I wasn't actually in Westfield ... Without outing myself totally, I work near-ish there, too. But most people who get on at Stratford seem to have been at Westfield given the shopping bags.

I have been once or twice - mostly to see what the fuss is about (especially about JL). But I agree it is pretty much hell on earth. The main thing to go to Stratford for is Mothercare and the one in the Mall is much quieter and bigger.

Westfield is just so expensive! The kids shops (apart from Mothercare) are eye wateringly so.

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 08:06:50

Sad and creepy at the same time. I do get all the stuff about people using the dolls to cope with infertility, loss etc, I really do. But at the same time, ugh!

And those Twilight ones garlic! WTAF??

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Sun 27-Jan-13 09:13:12

Read the uncanny valley link and thats so true! Exactly explains why I felt so 'weird' in that moment of realising that it was a doll - was a very strange feeling. Was fine the next time I saw it as I Knew it was a doll, and so wasnt in that vague disturbing territory of is that a baby, but there's something just not right... Obviously being preggers didn't help!

nappyaddict Sun 27-Jan-13 09:25:27

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Do you happen to live in the Weston/Bristol area?

MrsKeithRichards Sun 27-Jan-13 09:46:11

I did have an argument with a lady who had a dog in a buggy in the wheelchair space when I wanted on with my newborn in a pram. She did collapse her stroller, and the dog sat on the floor and order was restored.

I know wheelchair user's need for the space trumps mine but surely I trump a dog in a buggy?

OnwardBound Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:06

I think it would be very unkind to ask this woman to put her 'baby' in the luggage rack.

It's real enough for her.

And who knows what her story might be re infant death, infertility, MH issues ie early onset dementia, whatever...

I really struggle with the idea of some of you here being angered or irritated enough by this to ask her to fold buggy up and put the doll in the luggage compartment.

Also, as some have pointed out, you may get it wrong and the 'doll' might be a real baby after all!

Just feel there should be a little more tolerance and patience for difference even if don't fully understand it.

FeckOffCup Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:40

Yes I would definitely say a child in a buggy trumps a dog in a buggy, dogs should be on the floor not being pushed around on wheels.

OnwardBound Sun 27-Jan-13 10:20:21

Poor cow has failed at life

That's charming Bella hmm

ResolutelyCheeky Sun 27-Jan-13 10:21:51

When my dd was a baby people used to think she was a doll because she was born with shoulder length hair and was very 'doll faced'. I used to get strange looks all the time and as my baby wasn't a cryer I'm sure a lot of people made these assumptions about me too sad still had a gorgeous baby though smile

RooneyMara Sun 27-Jan-13 10:25:23

Well reborn dolls are something I came across several years ago when I used to repair antique dolls. I saw all sorts of different dolls, it was very interesting - never saw one of these in RL but imo they look like dead babies and are really horrible.

I knew someone who was interested in them, not sure if she ever got one - but she had lost a baby late in pregnancy and never managed to have another, though she had a child already thankfully.

I think they are a very emotive object for a lot of people - and I try not to judge but I do find them very disturbing.

I hope it was a doll, not something else.

She might have been

doing a documentary about how easy it is to negotiate your way round Westfields with a small baby and pram (but took a faux baby for convenience/ unavailability of real baby for experiment)

or
her teenage daughter might have had one of those "look after me or I'll grass you up" babies that they give to teens to try and put them off RLbabies. And her DD had sneaked out shopping , but the woman was determined she had to take her 'Baby'with her. So set off to find her.

fuzzpig Sun 27-Jan-13 10:57:01

I think they are harmless really (although I'd find it very hard to feel charitable if I'd been unable to get my baby/buggy on board because of her)

The only incidence of this that really made me sad though was some article - it was linked on MN a good while back - about a woman who had a reborn doll when she already had a child. That must have been quite hard for the child who was seeing her mum spend hundreds of pounds on a doll, I'd have thought.

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 27-Jan-13 11:40:18

...they look like dead babies and are really horrible.

That's what I think when I see them too sad.

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