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To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

(303 Posts)
Lira Sat 26-Jan-13 20:58:36

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.

Thoughts?

TickleMyTitsTillFriday Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:33

That's not quite the same thing is it something?!

thesnootyfox Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:04

It's not theft. How many times have you spent "your" money on the children or is adults money automatically family money but not if it's the other way round?

I received £60 for Christmas and £30 in NEXT vouchers. I spent the NEXT vouchers on the children as they needed clothes and the £60 was spent on a deposit for ds's school residential trip. It would have been nice to keep it for myself but the children needed it more.

If my children receive Argos vouchers for their birthday and I need something more than them I won't feel guilty about using the vouchers.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:25:12

It's not theft. How many times have you spent "your" money on the children or is adults money automatically family money but not if it's the other way round?

If she doesn't ask if she can have it and is given permission (yes, even by a little girl), yes it's theft.

I have spent my money on my children by choice and no, it's not automatically family money it's money I choose to spend on them.
I do not expect them to reciprocate.

Parents do actually have a responsibility to keep their children you know!

Lotkinsgonecurly Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:40

My dcs got some money from my. GPS for Christmas and I used that to go towards their music lessons and art lessons for this year term.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:27:20

Actually guffawing that some people think a little girls birthday money is the same as 'family money' that parents have to spend on their kids.

Would a teenagers money be 'family' money too? Do you think they'd react well to being told their gift cards were being used for a hoover?

Good god!

TickleMyTitsTillFriday Sun 27-Jan-13 10:30:14

Sometimes life gets hard and money is short, as parents and adults we need to make hard decisions.

This would not be a hard decision. The money is sitting there and op needs a new Hoover!

Don't overthink it, it's not stealing, Its bloody sensible!

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:30:27

My dcs got some money from my. GPS for Christmas and I used that to go towards their music lessons and art lessons for this year term

This is think is very different and is fine. These are extra curricular activities that are above and beyond what is expected and which benefit the child.

My brothers once got my eldest DS a terms worth of swimming lessons for him because i had said he didn't need anything and they said, well we'll just pay for his swimming.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:31:20

It is stealing tickle

If she needs it, by all means use the vouchers, but pay it back.

Indith Sun 27-Jan-13 10:33:01

I don't think it is the same as family money but I'd definitely use the vouchers and then put cash aside for her when I had it. Far better to have her save up for something she really wants or needs than have bits and bobs on gift cards everywhere so that at age 5 she gets used to the idea that she can buy stuff every time she leaves the house.

nerfartarii no but in my previous post I also told her to ask the child if she can use them.

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 10:35:13

I think the OP should use the gift vouchers as long as she gives her DC cash or puts the equivalent amount of money into a savings account for her DC.

(a) That gives the DC a wider choice of things to buy if she must buy;
(b) Risk of saving the voucher until after the expiry date;
(b) Risk of the voucher company going into receivership / administration and the voucher no longer being usable.

Frankly, I'd get rid of any vouchers as fast as I can after hearing recent news about now-worthless vouchers.

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 10:35:35

Sorry.
(a)
(b)
(c)

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:03

I think YABU

Who were the vouchers from? Family/friend? What if they ask your dd "hope you bought something nice from Argos with your birthday vouchers I gave you"

Whenever my children are given cash/vouchers I or they always message and let the person know what they bought etc and to say thanks.

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 10:39:22

I just wouldn't regardless if whether you need a Hoover, thse are her vouchers. Save them for later no need to spend them now. Either that or give her £30 to save and take the vouchers

Pourquoimoi Sun 27-Jan-13 10:41:52

YABVU to think you can just use her gift cards on a Hoover. By the sounds of it your original plan was just to use them, but your friend says you should pay the cash back.

Imagine the thank you letters, "thank you so much for the argos gift cards, my mum put them towards a Hoover". Not sure that would go down well with the givers, would it?

Fine though if you say to dd, "shall I use the vouchers and give you the cash to save?" , but that didn't seem to be your original intention.

BadLad Sun 27-Jan-13 10:46:22

Not sure that would go down well with the givers, would it?

Exactly. That's why I think the OP should ask them.

If she is reluctant to, then she has her answer.

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 10:50:30

Would you do that to your elderly relative who was living with you? Oh they have enough money I'll just pocket this as ts family funds hmm. No matter hi many presents dd go I just could not do it, I feel I would be stealing from her. Just because she is a child does not mak that ok

Lafaminute Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:54

I wouldn't even stop to think: OF COURSE USE THEM!!! you'd be mad not to (my dd is 10 and I would have no qualms about pilfering her gift vouchers AND birthday money!!)

Lafaminute Sun 27-Jan-13 10:52:39

and be creative in your thank you letters.

DamnBamboo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:43

Would you do that to your elderly relative who was living with you? Oh they have enough money I'll just pocket this as ts family funds . No matter hi many presents dd go I just could not do it, I feel I would be stealing from her. Just because she is a child does not mak that ok

My point earlier exactly piglet. My guess is many of the posters on this thread would probably steal from an elderly relative based on some of the responses. If they wouldn't, it would be interesting to know why.

How about vulnerable people in care homes who aren't likely to be on the next bus into town to spend their money/voucher? Is that ok too? After all, they don't really need and will never know anyway... hmm

I wouldn't hesitate however I would put the money into her bank for use when she's older. In fact ssshhh but I do it all the time if I replace like for like it's a non issue.

It's total madness to spend them on toys for her just for the sake if it. In a flip situation as long as the monetary value is put away for the child I wouldn't give two hoots.

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:01

It's very sad the attitudes of some people, I just couldent. Only only if I was so hard up that I needed to put food on the table or pay for electricity to keep us warm for the winter.

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:43

If you replace the money fine but if you don't no no no

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:53

They are her vouchers, if you take them and use them without giving her the money then you are stealing from here. The fact that she is a child or that she has plenty of toys doesn't change a thing, she was bought those vouchers by people who want her to choose herself a lovely present with them and they would be horrified if they heard that you had stolen them from her.

Theft is taking something from somebody else without permission. If you haven't asked her if you can use them then it's theft. Ask her if you can use them and give her the money.

Lafaminute Sun 27-Jan-13 11:09:06

Isn't it fantastic how many MNers are VIRTUALLY VIRTUOUS......

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