to replace my shampoo with something unexpected

(154 Posts)
HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 00:31:23

Have NCed as I'm feeling a bit paranoid about this.

I'm pretty certain that our cleaner has been taking showers and using my toiletries. She has been coming for 3 hours a week since September, she's my first cleaner and I've been very happy with the level of cleaning.

I thought I was imagining things at first, but every day or so after she'd been I started to notice that my shower gel and shampoo had depleted slightly. After a while of doubting myself I made tiny marks on my bottles and lo and behold, they had definitely been used.

There is nobody else in the household who could have used them - DS has his own bathroom and DH knows better than to use my toiletries.

I don't know what to do. I am tempted to put something unexpected in one of the bottles, WIBU to put some veet in the shampoo?

MrsMushroom Sat 26-Jan-13 08:43:54

Yoga she could be doing it after she's finished her work. she could be embarrassed to ask permission. Why fume?

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 08:44:03

I wouldn't replace the shampoo with something nasty though, regardless. I would either ask her how she cleans the shower, or arrange to be there one day while she cleans if you feel you can't.

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 08:44:41

MrsMushroom, presumably because it's not her shower to use.

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:55:06

Mushroom - Why fume? Because it's not part of what we agreed to. Like I said, it's about trust. Would it be ok if she also invited her friends round for a coffee after she finished cleaning because her husband is controlling and doesn't allow her to have friends round? Would it be ok if you left a plumber in your house to fix your toilet and found out later that he had also used your shower while he was there. Sorry, but it's just not on. But like I said, nothing to do with not wanting someone else's "proletarian" body in my shower. It's about being able to trust the person and knowing what they are up to when they are in my home. If they want to use my shower they should ask.

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:55:26

Speaking of which, I'm off to have a shower! grin

Chandon Sat 26-Jan-13 08:56:20

I had a cleaner who used my face creams and hand creams, I love my lotions and potions and so does she as she is an Avon lady. My stuff is nicer than Avon, and she always seemed interested.

I noticed as a hand cream I was gifted was half empty, and I had never used it before! Same with a daily moisturiser (as I use a different one in winter and summer).

Then I found her making calls on my landline too (classic way to find out: I left but remembered I had forgotten something, let myself back in and she was on my phone, to family abroad).

Small dishonesties can lead to bigger ones, if unchecked.

I did not ask her to leave as I felt sorry for her, just told her to stop using my creams and the telephone, and that I check these things. She was very embarrassed (me too!) but did not ruin her second chance.

I would ask her straight, not accusing her, just saying "I noticed someone is using my shower stuff, Do you ever use it? It may be a strange question, but some people use shampoo for cleaning, and this stuff is too nice for that, so just wondering really" (that some people use it for cleaning I learned on MN)

let us know the outcome please!

theoriginalandbestrookie Sat 26-Jan-13 08:56:47

Why don't you just hide it on the day she comes?

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 08:57:11

She's not showering at your house. She would be using the conditioner and leaving a wet towel (unless she's going to the trouble of tumble drying the towel afterwards?!).
No woman would steal shampoo in increments without also swiping some conditioner surely!
So the options are:
a. You're mistaken
b. the cleaner is using some shampoo to clean the shower (solution is to hide the shampoo)
c. (most likely by miles) your DH is using your shampoo (solution:LTB grin)
D. Your son is using your shampoo. (no solution, sons are flawless of course smile)

schoolgovernor Sat 26-Jan-13 09:03:00

Some strange replies here!
Personally, I seldom use conditioner, so that counts that bit of detective work out.
If a cleaner uses the facilities in a home without asking it's an abuse of trust, and you might wonder what other things they are doing that you haven't noticed. Also you'd surely wonder if this was happening during the time they were paid to be working? People might fantasise about the cleaner's deprived home circumstances, but the fact is that if they want to use part of Op's home they should ask.
I don't know what "traps" I'd set to be honest, apart from maybe coming home unexpectedly sometimes. I think that's worth doing in any case really.
If I found a cleaner using a phone, computer or shower without asking they'd be out the door straight away. No second chances, just pick up coat and go. This is coming from someone who is an ex-cleaner!

Chandon Sat 26-Jan-13 09:06:03

I do believe in second chances, after our chat she was very appreciative and loyal and never tried anything again.

reastie Sat 26-Jan-13 09:13:36

IMO if she's using shower gel and shampoo (that's an 'if') then she WOULD use conditioner too. Men don't seem as fussed with conditioner (vast generalisation but just from my experience) so I'd check with your DH first before filling the shampoo bottles up with bleach or some such. Or maybe try smelling her hair when she's finished!

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 09:14:52

pmsl laughing at smelling her hair when she's finished reastie grin

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 09:22:25

schoolgovernor I was really onto something there with the conditioner!
I agree that I wouldn't be happy for my cleaner to be showering at my house when she's meant to be cleaning.

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 09:50:31

So, those of you that only object on trust/principle reasons...if the cleaner asked if she could use your shower, would you say yes?

And OP do you object to cleaner using the shower, if she wasn't using your expensive wot-nots?

bottleofbeer Sat 26-Jan-13 09:53:11

Not all women condition their hair! I hardly do because it makes it all limp and rubbish.

reastie Sat 26-Jan-13 09:56:53

grin whiteflame

Khall personally if I had a regular cleaner I knew I would be OK with her using my shower on a very short term temporary basis if she asked me first and there was a good reason (like her hot water wasn't working and she wanted a shower for a couple of times whilst it was being fixed). I think just helping yourself to someones shower and toiletries is very rude - she's being paid to clean the house not herself! Plus she's using up hot water which means she's actually costing OP money (if she is showering that is).

OP, what do you think the cleaner is doing to dry herself? Does she have a huge handbag which contains a towel or does she use yours . I'm thinking if she is showering and doesn't supply her own soaps, she may also not supply the towels <shudder>

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 10:00:46

Not sure Khall... depends on what the cleaner's like otherwise really.

If they'd been there a while and proved themselves reliable, and said their shower was broken and could they shower here this week, no problem. If on their first day or two they said, can I take showers here, I'd be surprised and probably say no!

I mean, we have a room with beds in where I work. I COULD sleep there. But I wouldn't expect my boss to agree to me taking up residence there. Neither would I just take up residence because I thought he would say no if I asked.

Hide the bottles
Why waste a £16 bottle of Philosophy by putting Veet in it

YAB^VV^U by thinking of putting something like Veet in something that could go in her eyes.
Your DS/DH could use it by mistake. Do you want to risk blinding them too?

jamdonut Sat 26-Jan-13 10:06:21

I'd put all the bottles away somewhere,then see what happens.

zlist Sat 26-Jan-13 10:07:01

As you have been very happy with the level of cleaning then I would simply hide the shower gel and shampoo on the days she comes to clean.
Definitely don't put anything like veet in the bottle.

diddl Sat 26-Jan-13 10:07:29

Ah, schoolgovernor & bottleofbeer finally!!

I was loving the "it must be husband as all women condition".

I don´t-cba & don´t need to!

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 10:07:34

What if she wants to shower, because she is going straight to a course or something after her jobs and wants to be fresh?

I don't understand the objection. If she is doing a good job. If she is using a towel she is obviously cleaning it as op hasn't noticed. I wouldn't object to use of toiletries either, but mine aren't expensive. I might be uncomfortable that cleaner hadn't asked me, so I would her it out in the open.

(still don't think she is using shower based on OPs 'evidence' mind)

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 10:09:53

£16?!?! shock

Better duck out....this is one of those parallel universe, mumsnet moments...

FlipFlopFloss Sat 26-Jan-13 10:10:34

Veet - then if she goes bald you will know wink

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 10:11:28

So what if she does Khall? It doesn't matter what her reason is for wanting a shower - she must have some reason. But the reason is irrelevant, it isn't hers to have.

Maybe she does go straight to her course. Can she also make herself a snack so she's not hungry when she gets there? Maybe have a nap in the OPs bed too?

Again, assuming she IS having a shower.

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