To not appreciate the way the dentist spoke to me?

(59 Posts)
littlemisssunny Thu 24-Jan-13 12:24:59

I do have pmt at the moment so it might be me who is being unreasonable!

I changed to an nhs dentist last year, and the dentist I saw was lovely, talked things through etc. I had a temporary crown in December and booked an appt for jan to have the crown fitted.

I had to rearrange twice as I had flu and then vertigo (rang up in time and explained, no problem) then I rang on the day of my next appt to check the time as I hadn't had a text reminder, to be told the new dentist (same surgery, but dentist i saw first time had left) doesn't work that day and I should of had a letter to arrange, so I just rebooked, a bit annoyed but didn't complain as I get nervous about the dentist and was glad to get out of it!!

Anyway I went today and told them I hadn't been brushing my teeth as much as I should as I was laid up with flu and vertigo and struggled to get up to even go to the toilet.

She had a right go at me when she had finished saying I need to brush my teeth even when I'm ill otherwise I could get gum disease. It wasn't what she said it was the way she said it. I know I need to brush my teeth and again explained why I hadn't.

I left then as I didn't want to say anything as I was upset.

I have to go back for a filling in a couple of weeks and an dreading it already. The dental nurse was lovely and I think a bit embarassed for me.

I am thinking about asking to change dentists after my filling as they have lots there.

So do I need to get a grip or was she being unreasonable?

coraltoes Thu 24-Jan-13 13:26:25

When told "you haven't been flossing" I reply "no I haven't...keeps you in business though doesn't it?" and they always smile. Life is too short for dental floss!

LabelsGalore Thu 24-Jan-13 13:28:24

I suspect her attitude was aimed more at giving you a shock into seeing the necessity of brushing your teeth, rather than being rude.

When my dentist tried to use 'shock' and fear to convince me to have one of ds tooth extracted, I left the clinic tbh.
I am an adult, I expect my dentist to talk to me as an adult, with respect. To give me explanations. Not to scare me into doing something I might not think is OK.

Incidently, I went with ds to another clinic, saw a lovely dentist who explained the situation much better to me, and listen to my worries too. ds had his tooth extracted because it was the best for him, not because I had been scared.

<<Annoyed at all the health professionals who think that fear is the only way to make people do things>>

fubbsy Thu 24-Jan-13 13:29:24

wink My new dentist is young and good looking and I want to go back.

Pigsmummy Thu 24-Jan-13 13:29:34

I have a nice dentist and hygienist but have had bad examples of both. I went to my hygienist straight from work and hadn't had time to brush after my porridge breakfast, I did explain this to the hygienist but he ranted about "all this soft plaque" being a "disgrace", it was the porridge! Fecking Eejit, next time I went in I saw someone else as the porridge hating hygienist had been deported.

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 24-Jan-13 13:29:46

No matter how ill I am, even when I've been in hospital I've managed to brush my teeth.
While you were ill, you must have been able to go to the loo or have a glass of water, therefore you were perfectly able to brush your teeth.

LabelsGalore Thu 24-Jan-13 13:30:04

little tbh if you struggle to get out of bed, I am not sure why you should be expected to go and brush your teeth.

For me, that comment would sound like she hadn't believed my explanation and thought I was just using an excuse for not brushing. Which would really annoy me.

LabelsGalore Thu 24-Jan-13 13:32:43

Lady I am sorry but you can't have been that ill then.
I had flu a few times, was unable to get up and would only do that if absolutely needed. Brushing my teeth would not have being on the list of 'absolutely necessary'. Going to the loo yes.

TBH, if you brush your teeth properly, not brushing then for a few days will not be such a disaster or create gum disease. It's not doing AT ALL that is an issue.

ShellyBobbs Thu 24-Jan-13 13:37:41

My dentist is young, good looking and Spanish. Bring on the drill smile

I used to have a lovely posh NHS dentist in the middle of Hackney. He marvelled at my fabulous teeth (they're okay but I do have one massive filling) angled the light off them and said how they shined. Then he told me most of his patients don't brush their teeth, ever. Poor man.

McBalls Thu 24-Jan-13 13:59:10

I sympathise, I always feel like I going to the headmasters office when I have a dental appt.

In all honesty though I think it's pretty bad not to brush your teeth, I honestly can't think of any situation when I would not brush twice a day. I don't say that to pick on you when you feel bad already but sometimes I wonder if I do/ don't do things that other people would be hmm about and I'd probably rather know iykwim.

Having said that, they are your teeth and its up to you what you do with them.

dippywhentired Thu 24-Jan-13 14:15:56

grin very true Needathickerskin!

AngryGnome Thu 24-Jan-13 15:42:42

Having had zero problems with my teeth in 32 years, in the year following birth of ds I had to have 2 root canal treatments which both failed and the teeth were subsequently extracted.

Needless to say, I am slightly shocked about this sudden deterioration in the health of my teeth, when my dental hygiene and diet haven't changed. When I asked my dentist what was happening, and what could I do to prevent it, his response, word for word, was 'bad diet, innit'. That is apparently the sum total of his wealth of knowledge and communication skills.

Needless to say I am now hunting out a new dentist.

emsyj Thu 24-Jan-13 16:00:50

I had a dentist be very rude to me once, so I changed to another one at the same surgery but not before getting a dressing-down from the practice manager. She was utterly obnoxious but she picked the wrong day to be nasty to me and soon backtracked. The same dentist that I refused to see again extracted one of my DMum's teeth a couple of months later and made a botch job of it - he was rude to her too until she went in with DBro (also a dentist) who stood up to him and pointed out that DMum needed further treatment (which he did agree with and perform - then she found a new dentist too).

I have to say though that NHS dentists are not raking in megabucks unless they do a lot of private work on the side. My DBro is NHS and far from rich and he works bloody hard. If you're in the north west OP, go to him instead!

fluffyraggies Thu 24-Jan-13 16:32:55

I am petrified of having dental work. So much so that i will only go when in extreme pain. I look after my teeth in the hope that i don't end up in extreme pain very often.

However about 10 years ago i was having hellish pain with my wisdom teeth and had to go. The dentist i saw told me off like a child for not going to the dentist regularly. I explained my phobia, and told him i was frightened and found it hard to even be in the treatment room, let alone the chair, but he harangued me all over again.

I had the work done and haven't been back since sad

He was recommended to me as being good with nervous patients too!

phantomnamechanger Thu 24-Jan-13 17:04:36

No matter how ill I am, even when I've been in hospital I've managed to brush my teeth.

well, lucky old you! try having severe hyperemesis, the very thought of brushing your teeth makes you heave! the taste of toothpaste makes you gag

thre is no need for medical professionals, or any other person involved in serving the public, to be rude.
soem people are rude by nature anyway, others have an off day. other times it depends on the mood of the hearer how a comment is taken.

LaQueen Thu 24-Jan-13 17:10:47

I work for a private dentist...time and time and time again we have patients who don't attend appointments or check-ups, who don't listen to advice...and then months down the line expect us to bend over backwards to give them an emergency appointment because they're in agony with toothache hmm

Don't agree with your dentist sounding stroppy, though. Not very professional.

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 24-Jan-13 17:15:59

Yeah lucky old me.confused.
I'll await the poster with no hands to come on next, just so I'll feel even more guilty.
Sheesh.

complexnumber Thu 24-Jan-13 17:32:13

I went to my hygienist straight from work and hadn't had time to brush after my porridge breakfast

Gross! Poor dentist, was all that stuff in your mouth since your breakfast?

MrsMorton Fri 25-Jan-13 18:27:45

needathickerskin oh absolfrickinlutely true. But then I'm a nob or arrogant or rich or over paid or something. Can't remember which one it is today.

bumperella Fri 25-Jan-13 18:49:05

I absolutely hate my teeth. I can't really listen to conversations about teeth, toothpaste, etc without getting upset, and if anyone mentions my teeth I find it hard not to imagine killing them and burying them under the patio.

Dentists are dentists; they're not therapists and to be blunt I would never consider discussing with anyone how often I brush my teeth/floss/whatever. Whyever would you say "IO don't brush as often as I should" to a stranger???

cory Fri 25-Jan-13 18:57:32

I wonder how my GP can manage to get through a discussion about my blood pressure etc etc and never manage to make me feel inadequate and my dentist can't do it. My physical health is no better than my teeth, but he doesn't indulge in sharply indrawn breaths and headshakes.

But then my GP can manage to read my medical notes and remember what he is supposed to be doing, whereas my dentist has repeatedly tried to X-ray the wrong side of the mouth and puts things on the charge sheet for next time and then changes her mind about doing them.

LifeofPo Fri 25-Jan-13 19:00:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callmedoe Fri 25-Jan-13 19:09:40

Now usually I'm one for peace, harmony at discord on Mum's net and The World Wide Web at large but in this case I agree with littlemissunny. Going to the dentist is never a particularly nice experience in my experience and I can only imagine that it is made much worse by the presence of Vertigo, PMT, flu and rudeness!

KurriKurri Fri 25-Jan-13 19:31:31

You don't need to apologise to the dentist, it's your mouth, your teeth, your choice. You don't have to agree to treatment you don't want, and you don't have to put up with rudeness.

I've got a lovely dentist, but I've come across rudeness in other health professionals (although the vast majority are lovely and totally professional).
My policy with rudeness is always to call people on it, - so I would say 'thank you for the advice, I appreciate it and I'll do my best to follow it. But it isn't necessary for you to be rude to get your message across.'

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