I have a cleaner for 5 hours a week. She's a widowed older lady from an East European country, who's very pleasant and whose English has been improving tremendously in the 18 months she is here. And she is very fond of my 16 week old son. I've been considering asking her to do some babysitting outside of normal duties soon, as soon as I am ready to go out without him.
I went to get my boy a passport yesterday, but forgot some vital information so came home with the fee for the passport fast track still in my wallet (£87). I'd paid for a taxi out of that, about £13, with one of the twenties and put the change in a small bowl we keep by the door. I didn't buy anything else yesterday evening or go to the shop, just got home and made dinner for DH. I left my handbag in the hall last night and was feeding DS in my bed when she arrived at 8am. I went to pay her at 1pm and pulled out £40 from my wallet.. and that was all there was. The fiver was gone from the bowl and only the pound coins in it. I was a bit taken aback that there was so little there but I have been a bit thoughtless with money lately, losing track of things since DS was born, so didn't say anything at the time, wondering what the hell I could have spent it on. Also thought there was a good chance that DH might have taken the change from the bowl as he left before DS and I got up.
But it's the second time that I've noticed I've had much less in my wallet to pay her with than I thought I had. (After the first time i went through a phase of always bringing my bag into the bedroom at night, but habits slipped..) I raised it with DH when he got home and he said that he saw the change from the taxi in the bowl last night, but he didn't take it. So I think she may have taken it, but I can't prove anything. And I'm gutted.. She was the best cleaner I've had from this agency, very thorough, polite etc and great with my son. If I confront her and I've got it wrong, then I'm no further forward and I've insulted her. If I ring the agency then she's got a bad name. I'm sure very few other people are home but shut out of sight when she arrives with their purses lying around, but this is my home and I'm here with the baby and that won't change. I don't want to have to be extra-vigilant inside my own home.
What would you do?
AIBU?
To think she's stealing from me? WWYD?
SlowLooseChippings · 24/01/2013 10:40
Unlikely. I do often tip her, but I put it with her pay and always leave it in the same place on the counter. 
The bowl is on the hall table and a common repository for keys, coins, cufflinks etc. The fiver was gone but the pound coins were there.
I am probably going to take the coward's way out of just dismissing the agency. I haven't liked any of their other cleaners who tend to be young girls, from the one who left the place dirtier than she found it (not hoovering, just mopping so left wet cat hair all over the floor) to the one who couldn't stack a dishwasher (plates face down in the top and bottom rack, think she got about six into the otherwise empty machine before she announced it was full...) so i thought I'd struck gold here. Bah. 
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I've had the situation where I've been many pounds down in my purse, and wondered what has happened. I don't usually have more than about £40 max, but occasionally have expected £40 to find £10. When I've sat down and thought (after the panic of "who's taken it", "have I dropped it..") I've always realised that I've made a lot of small payments which have added up.
However my grandparents had a dreadful thief as a cleaner once. Yes, she came from an agency and I'm sure they weren't the only one she stole from. Dm noticed money was going much quicker than usual from their account, (she helped dgp with things like that).
Dgd kept all his money in a lockable safe which he kept the key in his desk. She'd actually taken the key and got a copy made. When this became clear dm remembered him telling her he couldn't see the key one time, and she'd gone to look the next day and it was there. The timing of it lost went between two cleaning days. It stopped when the lock was changed, and dm took the key home.
He used to keep a bowl of loose change by the door. It was always cleared on the days she worked. She would tell him that someone came round collecting for charity or something.
She also used to trot out sob stories ending in blackmail. Like "My car's failed the MOT and I don't have £500 to fix it so I can't come to you until I've paid. Dgp would "lend" the money. It was never seen again.
And after dm had got rid of her they discovered that she had taken a large amount of things like towels/linen from the cupboard upstairs. She'd always done things like washing so they'd not been looking in the cupboard.
Of course these things couldn't be proved, but dgp had very few visitors and dm kept track and things only went on days she was there. They'd have had to catch her in the act to prove it, and about a week after the lock was changed on the safe she suddenly gave notice and was never seen again. The agency said nothing could be done as there was no proof.
However a couple of years later someone with the same first name was charged with defrauding some elderly people she was cleaning for, so hopefully she got caught.
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