Issues with school silly lying, say something or not?

(16 Posts)
MariusEarlobe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:16:09

Ok apologies if this is long so not to drip feed. Its also a bit petty but I need to know opinion on if I should say something.

My dd has SEN, she is also undergoing tests for ASD and things have to be right.

She was told anything left in school overnight would be binned, because of her SEN she often forgets her things as her organisation skills are poor, I am working on this but to add to this when we fled exh my mum went to get her stuff and exh had sold all her toys and binned the rest. School are aware things were bad and aware dd takes things literally.

So she has spent the night in meltdown as she forget her fleece and pencil case. She also forgot to put her merits on (she's never been star of the week ever because they go off merits) and so she was upset they would be binned too.

Anyway this week she was told that if there was another snow day they would take days off the school holidays and holidays would have to be cancelled.

I KNOW they were joking but dd takes things literally and what teachers and people in authority say is set in stone so she will not be reassured and is heartbroken as we won a holiday and she now thinks she can't go.

MariusEarlobe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:21:41

Just to add the situation with exh was a couple of years ago but current teacher is aware as dd has said stuff to her and she discussed it with me.

I put it as an explanation of why dd is so upset.

lagoonhaze Thu 24-Jan-13 09:22:46

There arent exactly taking her needs seriously are they? Wouldnt be happy myself. Quick phone call to limit any further damage to day followed by a meeting.

To be honest my 5 year old who get upset about those things and he has no known SEN.

DeWe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:25:07

Has she been told them personally, or it it telling the class/school?

MariusEarlobe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:30:40

She's terrified of it snowing now sad

The snow one was in whole school assembly in which deputy head told whole school that they should be happy their school is open because if they have to shut they have to take days from the school holidays instead hmm

The other was class teacher to class.

pictish Thu 24-Jan-13 09:31:24

If it's said to a group or the class, then I'm afraid it's a suck it up situation. You can't realistically expect them to modify everything they say for your daughter's sake....even though I can totally understand why you would want them to.

lagoonhaze Thu 24-Jan-13 09:34:28

Why should teachers even being lying to the whole school though?

OddBoots Thu 24-Jan-13 09:34:31

pictish But even if that is the case (and I do disagree there, teachers need to take account of SEND in their actions) since when was it acceptable for teachers to lie and/or make threats which they have no intention of following through? It's poor parenting never mind poor teaching professionalism.

Were they joking? I've known schools where they extended the term due to several days being shut due to snow earlier in the year.

MariusEarlobe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:38:07

I don't think they should be lying full stop.

They aren't realistically going to bin childrens coats and bags else parents would kick off.

They can't add extra days on either once days have been published.

If they were modifying behaviour in a way they could follow through fair enough but they aren't.

MariusEarlobe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:42:27

The teacher with the bombing was shouting.

Not sure about the assembly thing. I've never known term extended because of snow but even if they did they couldn't make dd cancel a holiday booked within the original published dates.

MariusEarlobe Thu 24-Jan-13 09:43:10

Binning not bombing

Marius - it's happened round my neck of the woods, believe me.

cory Thu 24-Jan-13 09:54:18

I think you can realistically expect a teacher to modify what is said to the class to comply with DDA regulations (or whatever they are called in their new guise), in the same way as you would expect her to modify e.g. how a walk round the local area is organised in order to accommodate a child in a wheelchair. I see no reason why this should not come under the heading of reasonable adjustment.

I think you need to be very formal here, make an appointment to meet the SENCO/teacher and/or send a formal letter. Do not use negative language, such as lying, but couch it in positive terms of how the school can meet your dd's SN by always being very literal in any information to the children.

ApocalypseThen Thu 24-Jan-13 10:05:07

But do bear in mind that if your daughter is prone to worry there's a chance she may inflate the severity of what was said, so go with the attitude if finding out rather than accusing.

cory Thu 24-Jan-13 10:21:12

Very true, Apocalypse, and even if every word is correctly remembered, you still have a lot to gain through going in with an innocent attitude of asking what can be done to help. It's worked well for me over the years.

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